


By the River of Shadowed Moments

by paynesgrey



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-15
Updated: 2010-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 05:25:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sesshoumaru and Kagome have a contract that benefits them both. However, this is not a romantic interlude, and after awhile, the impersonal nature of it all causes them both some distress. It takes one moment of intimacy to change it all. Alternate Reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. By the River of Shadowed Moments

**Author's Note:**

> ****Originally posted and completed on August 28th, 2007. Thanks to Risa & Dragoninu for their beta help.

Chapter One

It was another river like any other. At least, that's what Kagome thought. The day was rather like any other day too, and it seemed that even the Gods took amusement in these constant interludes. It had to be sunny, and the wind just had to be the right kind to cool off warm sweaty skin. The river always was clear, as if it was supposed to be romantic or something.

Kagome huffed. 'Like HE would ever think such a setting merited romance.'

She didn't even think her confidante ever thought of romance. Although, some of the ways he touched her led her to think, for a couple of moments anyway, that he might.

He was never late, but she was sure that she was a bit early today. It was about her usual time to bathe, and the others knew it. Sango also knew that she liked to bathe at least a few times by herself. Kagome took that opportunity to align those instances with their plans.

"Good. You're here." His cold voice stung her like a random paper cut, but the eloquent way the words rolled off his tongue, strangely enough, momentarily soothed her like her music teacher's flawless aria.

Kagome slowly swung around and gave him a placid look. "Where else would I be?" she responded with equally cold, prickly inflections.

He stared at her severely, yet unwavering from her tone.

'He just doesn't care,' she thought. 'This is business for him. Every month. No matter what I say or how I say it, he's just going to stare at me like some kind of monthly task without a care for how I feel.'

Looking at him in his glory, his beauty, a part of her wished that he could be happier to see her. Since that first time and each subsequent time, she felt closer to him, yet she assumed he felt nothing for her. Maybe it was the stupid human side of her, but when a person was inside you, over and over again, you automatically felt bonded ...somehow.

She sometimes would convince herself that this was some kind of forbidden romantic escapade that they met like this every month because they loved each other, and they knew that if anyone found out about their tryst, it would be frowned upon. The danger, the taboo, was so exhilarating for her. However, the reality of it was not that dramatic. The reality was....

"You know what you need to do."

He started to remove his clothes. His armor fell to the ground with a big thump, massing in a delicate pile. As he peeled off layers of material, she felt her cheeks burning.

'Gees, Kagome,' she thought, chastising herself, 'this is like the tenth time and you're still blushing when he gets naked? Shame on you!'

She just couldn't help it. He was gorgeous, more gorgeous than Inuyasha, regardless of the fact they were siblings. His muscles were not so bulging, but they were present, defined, glowing with his luminous pale skin that was etched with the tiny purple slashes of his heritage in specific places. His hair, silver and seemingly born of heaven, was never a mess, and instead of submitting to the wrath of the wind, the opposite seemed to be true.

And that ever-convenient breeze was there to remind her of his large erection, staring her in the face and pulsating because of his monthly "heat".

His monthly "heat" had been her problem, and well, his too. Of course, she knew that this was biologically impossible. No male creature could experience a heat such as a female, and when she inquired about it, bravely, his annoyance and deterrence seemed to suggest that it was quite personal and mystical in origin.

Still, unnatural or not, it was still a problem to him, and it seemed to cripple him mentally, and maybe even physically if he did not quickly treat "his problem" accordingly.

It was in that dilemma formed the contract between them.

It had happened almost a year ago now, and Inuyasha knew nothing of it. It must have been a mischievous bit of fate that brought her and Sesshoumaru into this unlikely alliance. Suffering from his "heat" one month, he abandoned Jaken and Rin to find some female demon to mate with temporarily until his "unnatural" desires had been dutifully expelled. Thus allowing him to go on with his calm, collected life like it never happened. But the one time he could not find any appropriate demon within a forty-mile radius of his senses was the one time that the only females he could sense were human. And that one time, the closest one just happened to be Kagome.

She knew Sesshoumaru hated humans, and for the life of her she could never understood why he chose her. He could have just raped some woman and moved on. But ever since their first time, she had realized that he wasn't that sort of person. He was too noble and decent to rape someone, a fact that she had never known. She had assumed that since he was such a ruthless killer, the way he treated women was the same way.

It was untrue.

Unbeknownst to her, he was actually intrigued with her when he came upon her in the forest that fateful day. With a mixture of lust, familiarity, and precognition, he wanted her, and since their respective groups were always in the same region looking for Naraku's whereabouts, she could be of use to him. Of course he didn't care about her, but it was rather that he knew her, and to take her would surely enrage his brother. In addition, his problem of trying to scramble and find some demon female would be solved. Although, of course, he had some scruples. He would never force her against her will.

So instead, he bribed her.

"I will promise to never attempt to kill Inuyasha or take Tetsusaiga again if you do this for me," he had said.

"For how long?" she had asked, stupefied at the request.

She thought that if she refused, he would kill her. She had to do this out of fear and for Inuyasha. He could kill Inuyasha or her at anytime; maybe this was something that she could do besides be an awkward miko-wannabe, though she felt a little dirty agreeing to such a thing.

"I don't know," he said, with a voice of uncertainty. She hated it. Everything was ALWAYS so uncertain with him.

His stern voice brought her out of her daze.

"What is the delay, Kagome?"

He used her first name so informally, and it was another thing she sort of hated him for. He felt it was allotted to him by default, and, to be honest, she was thankful he was not calling her 'girl' or 'miko' anymore. A nice 'Kagome-san' would have been sufficient especially when he still insisted she address him as 'Sesshoumaru-sama.'

"Nothing, Sesshoumaru-sama," she chirped, and began the agonizing part of her bargain by stripping herself of her uniform.

It plopped listlessly to the ground.

She looked away from him, not wanting to look into his eyes. Little did she know that he hated it when she did not look him in the eyes, but he did not bother to reprimand her for it. He often felt that if he told her to look into his eyes it would make this thing too personal, and it was probably in both their favor not to.

'But why am I disturbed by this?' he pondered, as she lowed herself to the ground, the stream her focus as she spread her legs to him. Her pink flower mottled with delicate black curls stared at him. He felt his blood begin to boil from the fever to take her. Her legs shivered, as they often did, of nervousness and of cold, and once again he would strip more innocence from her, as he had done these last ten months, bit by bit.

Yet shockingly to himself, he felt that each of their encounters lessened his magical heat, and made him crave her more. He had no idea what he was feeling, and he was not eager to find a label for the emotions this human female caused him.

Sometimes when he was traveling with Rin, he would be reminded of Kagome, and if Rin did something bad, he couldn't yell at her. He didn't have the care because all he could think about the rest of the day was Kagome. Month by month he became impatient for his "heat" to come, eager to see her before their time. Of course, he pushed these desires aside. He felt it was dangerous to explore those thoughts any further.

His breathing was becoming heavier, and he came closer to her, looming over her body like steady beast. She maintained a placid gaze at the stream, and he wondered what she could possibly be thinking of. He bent down to kiss her neck softly, and he almost knew her reaction on cue, her eyes shut tightly, and she sucked in her breath. She exhaled slowly as he traced kisses and licks on her body. Goosebumps erupted on her body as his hands traced over her form, stroking her soft skin and squeezing at any fleshy grooves. His hands traveled between her legs, pulling at her inner thighs, and tracing underneath her flaps. His fingers had slid over the wetness forming between her lips, and rubbed at the bundle of nerves that centered above them. She moaned on instinct, her eyelashes fluttering over her eyes, and her body beginning to squirm under his touch. His clawed finger entered her womanhood carefully, sliding on the juices forming from the reaction of her body. Her legs shivered again and moved beneath him.

He removed his finger from her, grabbing her thighs and hoisting them above his as their lower bodies converged together. He glided into her, inhaling as he felt her tight walls constrict around him, blanketing him in her feminine warmth.

This was it. This was the part he craved from her month after month. After she squeaked in animalistic delight when he was inside her, he encountered another thing he craved from her: her sounds, her smells, her wet, shiny body shivering around him, wrapping around him like a hot sword before it was shaped and molded. He looked at her face watching it contort in ecstasy from him, and he began to release those feelings he had imprisoned. Before he could stop those unbridled emotions, he said something he had struggled to prevent himself from saying.

"Look at me, Kagome," he said in between rough, wild pants.

She was jarred from her trance by the plea in his voice. So moved was she by the tone of his voice that she started to let herself feel him. Slowly she turned her head to meet his impatient gaze, holding back her startled gasp as she looked up at his face. Harbored there was an expression she had never seen before. His eyes were soft, not red with fury like they had always been before when he took her. This time, she didn't have to look away as golden pools of clarity stared down at her as if mystified. His cheeks were shaded a soft pink, and his expression was just as curious and confused as hers.

He continued to pound into her, grunting like a beast but keeping his gaze locked with hers. They stared at each other's expressions with wonder, as they experienced the other's touch and heard the other's sounds as if for the first time.

As they looked at each other, the moment began to become timeless to them, some sort of force strengthening their weak, invisible bond. Together they both felt the change, yet both were uncertain whether or not to pursue it further. It was only now that they felt the most bonded then they ever been during the last ten months.

"Sesshoumaru," she sighed, letting it slip without the honorific.

He bent closer to her, his shadow blocking the sunlight from her. Curious, she looked at him, noticing his serene expression and feeling his body heat from their close proximity. She gave him a smile of adoration in response to this change that now swirled between them. He wasn't prepared for the jolt of electricity that flooded every synapse of his nervous system.

That smile was for him.

'What's going on?' he thought, still inside her, and then seeing her smile, looking into her eyes, and feeling her like this began to overwhelm him. He had known that looking at her would create something amazing between them. He had feared even doing it, but it became so irresistible to him, something he had never done before.

Kagome started moaning louder, closing her eyes once in a while at the deep feelings, and then opening them quickly to maintain a fix on his own curious gaze. She could tell by the way his face contorted that he was confused, that looking at her in the eyes had prompted some weird emotions in him. Feeling this close to him now, it was strange for both of them indeed.

"Kagome..."

When he finally said her name with such affection, her senses soared. Why did hearing him say her name seem so right? Why did it seem like she should be hearing him say it like that more often?

She bravely reached up her hands to his face and cupped his jaw. He was slightly taken aback by the gesture, but she maintained her smile amidst some erotic grunts.

As her hand touched him so lovingly, he felt a mass of pressure build up at the tip of him. The zenith of ecstasy felt so different now than previous times as she held his face in her delicate, fragile hands. He felt so adored, so special to her with such a gesture, and he felt his juices erratically pushing at his gates.

He studied her features, ingraining them into his brain. She was constantly licking her lips as they dried, the liquids being deterred to her lower body. The moist drops glistened over them, and he licked his own in desire. In a sudden sweeping motion, he bent down and captured her lips with his, another thing he had never done before. Such a gesture would have been too intimate, and again, he had been afraid of something so personal.

But that didn't matter anymore. He actually desired experiencing everything personal with her. He was addicted to it, this feeling that made him crave another with such madness. He didn't know what had prompted his rebellion from his fears, but he was grateful that it had happened, and he didn't care where the consequences from these intimate gestures would lie. He cared not for the future. The only thing on his mind now was Kagome, and he delighted in thinking with such freedom.

He scooped her up in a hasty embrace, squeezing her body so close to him he could feel her heartbeat thumping through her fragile form. She was such a delicate creature, and a weird random thought fluttered across his mind that he could snap her neck at any time.

But no, he couldn't imagine the months without her. He didn't deny it anymore. He delighted in the anticipation of seeing her. He was even more aware now that he didn't want Kagome to open her legs to anyone else but him. Not even to his brother.

As their lips locked together, their tongues danced with unfamiliarity at first. But as they came to know each other, they fed desperately off each other's wetness.

She was dumbfounded that it had turned out this way. Her fantasy of a forbidden romance with Sesshoumaru was coming true. When she had thought that he wouldn't do something like smile or feel romance, he surprised her and did just that.

He was holding her so possessively, as if he would never let her go. What was tomorrow going to be like for them after what had happened today? And when would this waltz end? By now, on previous encounters, his unnatural heat would be over.

But he was delaying his fulfillment to hold her. He was staying inside her to maintain their closeness. It was as if he was fulfilled right now and would be lost if she was removed from him.

He dispelled a grunt fiercer than the others, and she felt his warmth pool into her. He didn't pull out right away, and he kept on holding her, kissing her and looking at her.

She didn't mind this closeness, and strangely enough, she could have stayed like this with him for eternity. However, if her "bath" took too long, the others would become suspicious and might come looking for her. If they saw her with Sesshoumaru, things would get kind of messy. When an image of an angry Inuyasha fighting with an angry Sesshoumaru flashed through her mind, her sense of reason quickly returned to her.

"Um...Sesshoumaru-sama..."

The attached honorific made him snap out of his romantic daze. He gave her a strange look, and quickly regained his composure. He slid out from inside her, and moved back slightly. Their bodies were still touching, and he was not ready to lose contact with her yet.

"Are... you...satisfied?"

He wanted to laugh out loud at that question. She said it so innocently, but so true to reason. It was time for their tryst to be over, and she had to be done and clean of his scent from the river before her friends began looking for her.

He nodded warily, and she slowly moved away from him. He stared at her strangely, realizing how cold he felt without her touching him in some way.

She went over to her bag and picked out a bottle, running quickly into the stream. She cried out when her body hit the cold water, shivering as she poured the soapy substance from the bottle over her, scrubbing herself furiously with it.

He stared at her as if in a trance. Slowly, yet not too awkwardly, he began dressing himself. When he was finished, he stood there, staring at Kagome still in the stream.

Normally, he would have just left her without saying a word, but this time was different. Now, he felt something for her, and leaving without saying goodbye did not seem right to him.

"Kagome..." he said, and she looked over at him. She was surprised that he was still here with her.

"Um... yes?" Her cheeks flushed despite the freezing cold river water surrounding her.

He couldn't find the right words. Hell, he didn't know the right words, but he knew he needed to tell her something. She looked at him with expectant brown eyes. He sensed fear, not from possibly being killed, but from the uncertainty of his next words.

He couldn't think of anything to say at this moment. All he knew was that he wanted to feel her again, and he didn't want to wait a month.

"Meet me by another river in a week, same time," he said coldly, but her eyes widened at his comment nonetheless. "I will find you."

Why did he want to see her so soon? Kagome felt confused, and worried about where today's events would take them. Was this a consequence of their sudden step up to intimacy?

'Is it still just sex or is it something more now?' she mused, and couldn't stop herself from thinking. She wanted to ask him the reasoning for this new development, but decided against it. In the end, she figured he was just as confused as she was.

"Um...all right, if you want," she said amiably. He nodded at her. She couldn't help lock gazes with him again and stare into his golden eyes. His eyes looked so sad, and he seemed to exude more loneliness than she had ever seen him show before.

"Until then..." he said ethereally, then turned on his heel and finally left her. He walked away without looking back. It was amazing, but the great Sesshoumaru was actually somewhat afraid to look back. If Kagome saw his face now, she'd see that the last thing he wanted to do was leave her.

And it was all because they had shared a few moments of intimacy.

________________________________________

Kagome had scrubbed herself clean of Sesshoumaru's scent, and her fingers looked like prunes from soaking too long in the water. She had actually drifted off to sleep against a rock in the river when Sango finally had to come and get her.

She was thankful she at least had an alibi for being so late from her bath. Inuyasha had given her a few rowdy yells when they returned, and then went on his merry way into tree to sleep for the night.

Kagome rested in her sleeping bag, mulling over the day's events in her head. Strangely enough, she was beginning to miss Sesshoumaru, and never before had she felt that way after one of their meetings. Usually, she was lethargic, almost exhausted because he normally rammed into her so roughly, tossing her around like a sack of potatoes and leaving her when he was "done."

She knew this time was different from before, her cheeks becoming flushed and her inner thighs moist as she remembered the looks he gave her and the way her name rolled so beautifully off his tongue. She remembered how his silver hair fell over her and how soft his kisses had been.

Things were definitely different now, and she was starting to be glad he upped their next meeting to just a week.

To see him, to touch him again, she need only wait a week. However, when she began to think of it more, this measly week seemed to stretch itself outward, teasing her loins and making her senses wait for what was more perceived as an eternity.

TBC...


	2. Transparent Promises

"I gave myself to him,

And took himself for pay.

The solemn contract of a life

Was ratified this way."

~XXI, first stanza, Emily Dickinson

Chapter Two: Transparent Promises

As Kagome waited during the week until her next meeting with Sesshoumaru, her mind grew weary thinking of him as the journey with her friends to find Naraku became mundane and uneventful. Sometimes they would hear news, talk to some people in random villages, but when their poking and probing for clues produced little results, she felt her mind wandering back and reeling into the fresh memories of her body sliding under Sesshoumaru's, his gaze fixed on her as if he had just discovered something alien, but wonderfully new in his life. The way he said her name continued to echo on in her brain, and she could feel herself going crazy thinking she could hear him call her in the light breeze that whispered in her ear.

She tried act normal, but she was exhausted as she began to think too much about him, overanalyzing every detail of their last encounter. She could not rationalize his behavior at all, and the cold prince's request to see her again in such a short while was a conundrum indeed. The group began to notice her distraction and she lightly excused it as stress caused by her studies from home when they inquired about her fatigue and listlessness. She supposed it was a good alibi, but it seemed that Inuyasha did not buy it.

She often caught him staring at her with a strange, critical gaze. Nervous about his looks, she wondered if he actually did suspect something between her and his brother. Maybe she didn't erase his smell well enough. She started to have doubts, and her body would shiver with anxiety at all the foreboding possibilities of his reaction to her recurring interludes with Sesshoumaru. Her stomach sank into despair slightly as she began to feel guilty for ever agreeing to Sesshoumaru's demand. She feared the fact that Inuyasha would think her sullied, giving herself to his brother every month for cheap sex. If Sesshoumaru had been in love with her, it would be different. However, Kagome was sure that in a flash Sesshoumaru would drop her without a care if Inuyasha challenged him for her. And where would it proceed from there? He would probably lose faith in her, seeing her as damaged goods.

She fought back the tears as her imagination ran wild, and visions of Inuyasha's mortification, rejection, and anger whirled around in her head. She suddenly sniffled, alarming the others in her group as she stared at their campfire. It was in the fire that she could see her most potent visions.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Sango asked, looking concerned for her best friend. Miroku and Shippo's faces matched Sango's look of worry. Inuyasha glared curiously at her.

"Nothing," she sniffed, offering no information. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shippo asked innocently.

"NO!" Kagome said sternly. Seeing Shippo's hurt expression her eyes softened and she said, "Sorry, Shippo. I didn't mean to yell. I think I'll go take a bath and then turn in for the night."

Everyone nodded, faces still visible with concern. She avoided their piercing gazes; those friendly, concerned glances that only tore at her fragile heart more.

She stalked in the direction of the cold river. Kagome mused placidly that this waterway seemed to go on forever, and she was probably going to meet Sesshoumaru by it in two days. He said he would find her. She inwardly groaned. It was true her body was looking forward to the meeting, but her mind was not.

Things would be a lot more awkward for them after the last time, and she was nervous to see how he would react. Before that one instance of intimacy, she had expected nothing more than his routine behavior. He used her like a tool, disposed of her, and that was that. If they were to ever encounter each other outside their trysts, Sesshoumaru made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, and so with that in mind, she had followed his example. Neither of them gave any clue to their arrangement in the face of others. What happened by the river, stayed by the river, and whatever emotions lingered in their minds afterwards were theirs to deal with on their own.

Kagome rested her bare feet on the edge of the calm stream, almost wishing that it was moving rapidly so she would be carried with the violent currents down the path to oblivion. Then the water would wash her away, and end her troubles as well. She shook her head, not liking the suicidal direction of her thoughts.

She began to undress, when she felt a presence behind her. She knew who it was. She let go of a sigh and closed her eyes in mild frustration.

"Inuyasha, what do you want?" she asked in a crisp tone, and she could have sworn that her vocal inflections had somewhere and somehow borrowed the snobbish tone of his brother. She put on a lopsided smile at its influence.

"We need to talk," he said harshly, with his usual coarse voice. She felt numb to the mild grating that his angry voice had rubbed against her senses.

"About?" she replied shortly, acting disinterested.

He growled in exasperation.

"About..." His angry voice pricked harsh then died into an awkward whisper. "...about how you've been acting lately. I know it's my fault."

Kagome whipped around to face him with a feeling of incredulity. He thought she was moping because of him?

"WHAT?" she half screamed. Inuyasha winced as her screech tackled his sensitive ears.

He looked at her sternly, but with remorse softening the edges. "I know I haven't been paying attention to you, that Naraku is usually the only thing on my mind...but dammit...stop this sulking!"

Her head was reeling from his words. 'No,' she thought. 'He has it all wrong. He's taken responsibility for my feelings for the wrong reasons.'

Her heart fluttered at how wonderful he was, and his actions, as misguided as they were, rejuvenated her love for him. Her cheeks turned a hot, rosy pink. She stared at him with sad, loving eyes.

"Inuyasha..." she managed to say affectionately.

He ran up to her and embraced her. She froze from his sudden touch. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his back. His warmth and grace soothed her like the warmest blanket of heaven.

"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," he said with sadness in his voice. His words were full of despair, choking on his sorrow. "But I never rejected you."

"Wha? Inuyasha, what would make you think that I think you've rejected me?" Kagome asked. His actions were becoming more and more puzzling.

"Your scent...."

Kagome froze, afraid of where this was going. He knew more with that nose of his than she could ever imagine. The contents of his inevitable response frightened her. 'Does he know?' Fear pooled and circulated from deep in her core. "Your scent has changed to that of a woman, Kagome. It's telling me, that..."

She shivered, trying to subdue the waves of panic that were pushing at her gates of sanity.

"You scent tells me that you have been with someone else. You're no longer..." Inuyasha blushed and couldn't even say the last words.

She closed her eyes tightly because he didn't need to say it. She knew what he meant. He could smell that she was no longer a virgin.

Kagome hung her head low.

"How long have you known, Inuyasha?" she asked in a sad tone.

Despite her actions, he held her nevertheless. He held onto her a little too tightly, afraid to let her go.

"For a few seasons," Inuyasha said.

Kagome sniffled, and the tears began to flow. Inuyasha still held her, stroking her hair and whispering into her ear to soothe her. He bent his head down and nuzzled into her shoulder. He rubbed his nose against her shoulder as if wiping away imaginary tears.

"I should have been there for you," he said, his shaky voice laced with regret. "If I had not ignored you time and again, I would have been the one to..."

"Stop," Kagome sobbed. "It meant nothing, Inuyasha. I can't explain it much further, but I felt nothing. In all of this time, even then, you're the only one I've wanted."

Inuyasha half sighed in relief, yet confusion still hung over him. "I know you do things differently in your world Kagome, but I still don't understand why you did it. I don't understand, but when you say that about me, I want to believe you. I want you to stay with me." He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I want you to someday bestow that privilege to me."

Her pain and sadness was a cup overflowing. He still touched her tenderly, accepted her when he knew she was no longer pure. When did she deserve such acceptance? She choked out a ragged sob.

'He knows I was with someone else and he accepted me. But how will he feel when he finds out it was his brother who took me?' She continued to sob. Her mind was diseased with agony. She felt she didn't deserve this kindness, this open heart of his. She felt like crawling into a dark place and dying.

Inuyasha pulled himself from her, brought her chin up with his thumb and placed a light kiss on her lips. Kagome responded with hesitation, creating a barrier so that his tongue couldn't go past her lips. He obeyed her silent request and removed his soft lips from hers quickly, embracing her once again. And as Inuyasha held her, she felt that she wasn't as excited about meeting Sesshoumaru as she had been before.

\----

Golden eyes streaming with blood red sparks glowered at the intimate couple in the forest. He had heard the entire exchange, and the fact that his brother was still strongly in love with her disturbed him. Kagome's painful sobs into his brother's chest pricked at him, and her words made him boil with anger.

It meant nothing, she had said, and as he would have agreed with her in the past, he was stirring with frustration these past few days with thoughts of affection for her. He was curious, confused, and felt a strange renewal of his spirit as he awaited his next encounter with her. When he had looked into her eyes, when she had said his name and cupped his cheeks with such tenderness, he had started to believe that she might feel something for him as well.

It meant nothing.

That statement stuck in his head and multiplied, slashing at all the sane receptors coursing through his brain. Anger pooled within him. He felt like a fool. He had initiated intimacy with this human, and he was losing himself to it. But the sight of her in his brother's arms, denouncing their meetings, telling him that she was in love with HIM instead, shattered what little wealth of emotions she had initially stirred. The affection that he was feeling had tattered like fine silk, and he clawed at a tree in frustration.

'How dare she say that about me!' he roared in his brain, and to see her submit to him, to lose herself to him, and then soon leave his brother for him became a sick, twisted harbinger for the games he had forming in the massing darkness of his mind. Whatever feelings of passion and love that had been slowly nurtured for her was now beginning to wither. Lust, jealousy, and dominance became all he felt now.

Smirking dangerously, his fangs reflecting the blood red moonlight, he whisked away from the lovers and back to his place of comfort, a place he would collect his thoughts and plan for what he was to do the next time he met with his pretty little harlot.

As the day came for Kagome to meet Sesshoumaru, she felt her breath hitch in her chest and catch in her throat. The residual feelings of the last time she was touched by him began to rage a war with her delicate affections for Inuyasha. She was certain about her strong feelings for Inuyasha, but something inside her tugged at her soul, reminding her that she had growing feelings for Sesshoumaru as well. Her mind felt trapped in a dense fog, and her heart physically sore from all her worry.

Placing one foot in front of the other she made her way to the river, head held high for the inevitable. She told everyone she was going for a bath alone, and everyone gave a lethargic reply. They were all too tired from the day's battle with a group of weak, but nonetheless troublesome, youkai.

Inuyasha cocked an ear as he slowly, cautiously followed the sound of her footsteps to the river. A blush flared across his cheeks, and feeling brave, he jumped down from the tree, following her closely from behind. He felt a bit like Miroku, but this may be his chance to surprise Kagome. He hoped, knowing she wasn't as innocent as before, that he could seduce her, have her get caught up in a loving frenzy and finally submit to him. He licked his fangs as if he could almost taste the coppery liquid of her life, fueling the fire within his demon blood. He wanted to taste her and make her his own.

There would be no more waiting. There would be no more betrayal.

As he came into the clearing, he squinted as sunlight enraptured his clear vision. He heard Kagome gasp, and he willed his eyes to adjust faster to see what trouble she had encountered.

The sight before him was horrifying, and his body stilled from the sheer unexpectedness of it.

With her mouth agape, her eyes locked with his stunned gaze.

There.

Before him was Kagome, half dressed and flush against the chest of his brother. She didn't look frightened of Sesshoumaru. No, she looked more frightened that Inuyasha had stumbled upon them.

"Inuyasha!" she exclaimed, sorrow and fear saturating her voice. Sesshoumaru only smirked. Kagome turned her shocked gaze to him, and her eyes narrowed.

"You..."

Immediately, she was aware of what he had done. Sesshoumaru had let Inuyasha come and find them. He had betrayed her. Countless times before he would always warn her when he scented someone's approach, and he had to have known that his own brother was fast descending upon them.

Sesshoumaru met her furious gaze. Her defiant and vengeful eyes enticed him, and he was enjoying this moment even more than any of their recent trysts.

"Kagome, what is going on!?" Inuyasha hollered, his teeth gnashing like a confused and rabid beast.

Sesshoumaru pushed Kagome aside, who was too weak to speak or even move. She broke her fall to the bank just before the raging river. She looked over at him in fear and in shock. She couldn't believe the way these events were turning out. She wanted to wake up from the awful nightmare it had become.

Sesshoumaru drew his sword and Inuyasha matched his motion. "Foolish brother, can you not see what plainly is going on here?"

Inuyasha growled, his focus no longer on Kagome but now on his brother. In a protective stance, he appeared to be blinded by fury. He wanted to get to the bottom of this, and Sesshoumaru's mockery only fueled his passion for the kill.

His brother's growling only heightened Sesshoumaru's sadistic pleasure of the situation. "Don't you see? I'm stealing your woman. And I'm the one who took the innocence that she willingly gave to me."

Inuyasha continued to growl, his demonic blood flooding through his veins. Tetsusaiga shook violently in Inuyasha's grip. Fury swirled about him, painting harsh purple slashes across his cheeks. Kagome lifted a hand up to her mouth, covering a muted scream. Inuyasha was so upset, so hurt and betrayed that his demon side was rising, gaining control of his body to instinctively increase and defend his mate, to take back Kagome.

Sesshoumaru laughed haughtily. "Your weak hanyou body cannot control that blind, unrestrained power that possesses you. You are sooner dead by your own weakness then by my sword."

Inuyasha's demonic blood completely blinded him to all restraint, dark clouds beginning to swirl around his blade. His fangs grew longer, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth as he gnashed his teeth at his intended opponent. His eyes flooded with crimson.

Sesshoumaru stood stoically, smirking at his brother's transformation. He gracefully pointed Tokijin at him, energy from the blade sparking with bloodthirsty energy.

Swift as lightning, Sesshoumaru sprung at him. Kagome could hardly see his movement as he was quicker than the human senses could follow. Instantly, Sesshoumaru dodged the primitive blow that Inuyasha had sent him. Sesshoumaru grabbed his brother's wrist and twisted it, letting his poison seep into his skin. Inuyasha howled in pain, his grip remaining steadfast on his sword.

Sesshoumaru frowned slightly, having hoped that his brother would release the sword and leave himself open. Inuyasha was defiant, and deep within that mess of beastly vertigo, his sense of self ebbed at the surface, waiting to reappear once blood was spilled and justice served. Inuyasha truly loved Kagome, and it was apparent to Sesshoumaru that perhaps it had been unwise to expose his alliance with Kagome in such a harsh light. However, his brother would have found out sooner or later.

That, and Sesshoumaru was still furious over the callus remarks she had spoken to Inuyasha. Somewhere deep inside, he hoped that her feelings matched the tenderness she had shown him. That the way she had touched him during their last encounter was only for him. The idea that it was all a lie pained him and infuriated him. The possibility her affectionate smile and tender touch were authentic changed in the instant he heard her speak so gently, so sadly to his brother.

The realization that everything he had experienced with her, that moment of purity and passion, was nothing but a lie.

He didn't want it to be a lie. He wanted it to be true. He wanted HER again.

But it was obvious to him that she didn't want him. Her words had proved this fact. Strangely, it sickened him, the loyalty she held for his brother. And he felt foolish to have even thought that their interludes by the river would create a bond between them. He hadn't realized it until late, but his feelings for his brother's miko had grown.

'And last time...' The vision of Kagome cupping his face and her affectionate gaze struck at his icy heart. He remembered the way she had said his name when she saw his eyes, had felt her moment of ecstasy within his arms. He couldn't accept the likelihood that all that was a lie.

His blood boiled in rage as he swam in the knowledge of it. With that fury, he lunged at Inuyasha, still on the defensive from Sesshoumaru's graceful attacks. Even with his mind a tempest of confusion and fury, the youkai lord still fought with flawless beauty.

'It seems that fighting is my one true love,' he mused with a hint of sadness.

He found an opening in Inuyasha's fighting stance, and as the beastly form of Inuyasha swung at him, Sesshoumaru moved forward, Tokijin's blade piercing Inuyasha's soft flesh, in through his stomach and out his back. Inuyasha's red eyes opened in shock and instant affliction. Kagome screamed as Inuyasha's blood began to pour out of his new wound. She could see bloody entrails snagged on the tip of the blade. She jumped up and ran to him, grasping Inuyasha in her arms as he slumped forward in defeat.

Sesshoumaru pulled his sword from him. He examined the blood on the blade, and his inner demon seemed content with the outcome. He had won.

His brow furrowed when he heard Kagome wailing in front of him, clutching her lover's dying form. She threw her shirt over him, trying to stop the bleeding. Inuyasha coughed and gurgled on some blood. She laid him gently on the ground and held his hand. He was delirious, trying to move his head. She smoothed his hair and tried to soothe him. Her tears fell on him with unending anguish.

"No, Inuyasha! Hang on!" She could feel his breathing become very soft, almost erratic. She prayed to any god that would listen to let him live, and take her miserable existence instead. Sesshoumaru sheathed Tokijin, not very pleased about Kagome's devotion to the injured hanyou, but satisfied that he had wounded him to the brink of death. The frustrating thing was he had given Inuyasha worse wounds, and that his half-brother would indeed survive this.

Kagome quickly wrapped up Inuyasha's wounds with her shirt, towels, and any clothing supplies she had on hand, and then lifted his head onto a folded towel for a pillow. She felt his breathing steady, and stood up when she felt that his body was on its way to healing itself. She moved to stand protectively in front of Inuyasha and glared at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru met her angry gaze. He saw Inuyasha stir, conscious, behind her, but Kagome did not notice it. She was too furious to notice anything else but the arrogant dog demon in front of her.

"What the hell is wrong with you? We had a deal! I was to help you, and you would stop coming after Inuyasha and his sword!" Kagome barked at him.

Sesshoumaru remained silent. His eyes floated back and forth from Inuyasha's injured form to Kagome's vexed expression.

Kagome saw a flicker of expression scurry across those cool, placid eyes. His lips turned slightly downward, and he turned his focus from her.

He had indeed promised her, and now, her affection toward his brother and resulting denial of him had prompted him to break it. He examined the blood on his hands. This incident would cause him such mental stress later on, he was sure of it. Yet, the fact of the issue remained. Kagome was still in love with Inuyasha, and she had denounced any passion that they might have felt together. He had heard it with his own ears.

He growled, and then he lunged at her, grabbing her chin roughly with his claws. He watched as Inuyasha's blood from his hands smeared across the curve of her jaw. Inuyasha's ears stirred and tried to raise his head as he struggled ineffectively to get up.

"I heard what you said, Kagome," Sesshoumaru snarled at her with mild languid inflections. Among the coarseness and fury of his voice, she heard a quiet sorrow. Kagome's eyes began to widen. "If it meant nothing to you, then it means nothing to me as well."

His voice was soft as a whisper, and just as lethal as a snake's poisonous kiss. Kagome's eyes became as wide as they could and tears ebbed at the corner of her eyes as she understood the reasoning behind his betrayal.

"Sesshoumaru...I..."

He cut her off with a dangerous look. He squeezed her chin and she swore another squeeze would break her jaw. He pushed her head aside, and her neck creaked at the force. She lost her balance and fell to the ground again. She looked up at him, tears beginning to take shape on her face once again, only this time she began to cry for him, along with everything else crowding her pained heart.

He looked down at her weak form in contempt. He felt ridiculous for letting this human affect him as she did. It was time he nullified everything about her from his system. "Our deal is off. You would be wise to never cross my path again."

TBC...


	3. Hate Me with Your Body

"Lick my legs I'm on fire

Lick my legs of desire

I'll tie your legs

Keep you against my chest

Oh you're not rid of me

Yeah you're not rid of me

I'll make you lick my injuries

I'm gonna twist your head off, see"

~ "Rid of Me" by PJ Harvey

By The River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Three: Hate Me With Your Body

Kagome had never felt more alone in her life as she did now. She had to drag Inuyasha's semi-conscious body back to the camp, Miroku and Sango rushing to help them, and Kagome didn't even care about her state of undress. She had used most of her uniform to treat Inuyasha's wounds.

Although she would have preferred to not have Sango and Miroku know about the deal with Sesshoumaru, she had to tell them everything given Inuyasha's dire wounds. With her emotions in a state of manic unrest, she poured out the whole story at once, trying to dispel some of her agony with the truth that she retched from her tongue.

No doubt Sango and Miroku were shocked, and even Shippo did not seem to completely understand the information she provided. She felt filthier and even more impure as their eyes watched her closely as almost every detail of the deal and the fight was thrust upon their unknowing ears. Miroku had covered Shippo's ears when Kagome had inadvertently explained her relationship with Sesshoumaru.

And, while she finished telling them her story, Kaede went to work on Inuyasha's wounds. His hearing had not been wounded; however, and he had heard everything Kagome had described.

Shippo was partially wary of her now, staying mostly with Sango and refrained from getting close to Kagome. Sango was less sympathetic, and the demon slayer shot Kagome looks full of pity and disappointment. Miroku, who could understand her situation more than anyone, did little but talk to her civilly, and stayed away from everyone to ponder some conflicting thoughts he had about the whole situation.

Kaede said nothing to her as well. The old woman didn't even make eye contact with her. What was worse, Kagome had entered the hut to check on Inuyasha, and when he realized it was her, he turned his head away in mild anger. She could tell by the way the muscles in his face contorted, his fangs showing under his lips, that he was ashamed of her.

His judgment of her sin hurt the most.

And yet there was nothing she could do. They were grounded from their mission to find Naraku until Inuyasha's injuries could heal.

Until then, Kagome wandered listlessly in the forest by herself. She made herself feel the pain that she deserved. With her friends' abandonment and judgment of her, she felt it was small compared to the price she should be paying.

She had betrayed her friends. She had betrayed her own body. She had betrayed the man she loved the most. For someone with a heart so pure, these realities only soiled it. She walked around the forest almost a ghost, feeling that now Kikyou's presence was more pure than her own.

Despite all this, she stayed and did not run home, cowering from her mistakes. She stayed in the village for Inuyasha's sake, she convinced herself. She only hoped that when he recovered from his injuries that he would lash out at her, maybe even hit her for what she had done because this silent shame was killing her.

And yet, her soul did not wither fully. She would let her mind roam to thoughts of Sesshoumaru. Her heart ached for him as well, and she remembered the pang of agony that she had felt when he rejected her.

"I heard what you said, Kagome," he snarled at her with mild languid inflections. Among the coarseness and fury of his voice, she heard a quiet sorrow. Kagome's eyes began to widen. "If it meant nothing to you, then it means nothing to me as well."

His snarl had impaled her like a jagged sword, but when it was all said and done, it was her understanding of his sorrow that poisoned her even more.

'He had felt something too,' Kagome thought, as her body remembered their last time together, looking at each other, reveling in the way their names curled off the tips of their tongues. She had longed for him, and although she still appeared a mere girl, being with Sesshoumaru had prompted her life as a woman.

'If I had no ties to Inuyasha,' she mused to herself. 'Then no one would frown so much upon it.' She slumped down against a tree near the well, and she bent her knees and buried her head into them. She felt her tears splatter against her own shivering skin.

'Would it be different?' she asked. Would her friends think so differently of her if she had been alone, without ties to anyone? How could they possibly understand her? Despite the fact that she did indeed have spiritual powers, she was not from this time. They couldn't possibly understand how alone she felt in this era away from her true time.

And although Inuyasha had made her feel more at home, he still wasn't completely hers. He had ties to Kikyou that she couldn't ever compete with. Sango and Miroku were her friends, but they had each other. Shippo was just a kid.

When she deduced everything, there was not one person in this time that she could truly call her own, that she could have by herself and share with no one else.

"People who are alone usually don't have anyone to call their own," she said aloud, and then she whimpered into her knees again as she realized that her voice was probably too impure for this beautiful night, and she was ashamed further for disturbing it.

Suddenly, she didn't care about going back to the hut for dinner. Her eyes grew heavy with exhaustion and grief. Her body harbored no more energy for her eyes to remain open. She started to feel peaceful, the cold night air blanketing her tainted body. In her last thought before slumber, she wondered if it would get cold enough to freeze her to death, thus ending all her torment.

When everyone was asleep, Inuyasha silently struggled to get up. The wound in his stomach was healing slowly, but he was now able to walk at least. He watched carefully, trying not to disturb anyone, floating quietly out of the hut and into the night. He limped along clutching his torso as he made his way to the well. Her scent had not been there with the others, and no matter how angry he was with her, he didn't want her to feel the need to run away from them, either home or back into the arms of his brother.

He had heard her story, and the more she tried to defend her wrongs, the sillier he thought she was.

He growled. 'How can that girl be so stupid to give herself to Sesshoumaru for my sake?' He understood that ultimately she did it to protect him and his sword, and he had wondered slightly why Sesshoumaru had left him and his sword alone recently. Now that he knew, he rather wished that Sesshoumaru would have continued to come after him.

He winced in pain as he felt his muscles tense in frustration. 'How could she? How could she do this to me?' He was starting to think that she only made the deal because she had lost confidence in him, lost any kind of hope that he was strong enough to protect her.

And to give herself to him physically, did she not love him enough to refuse?

He scoffed at his own thought. 'Love...does she love me?' His inner voice resonated with his sorrow. Then he suddenly wondered if he had been clearer about his love for her and abstained from his meetings with Kikyou, if things would have turned out the same.

He started to feel stupid, fearing that his own idiocy and countless betrayals drove her into the arms of another. He huffed again. 'She could have run to anyone. Kouga, that boy from her time, even Miroku, but I never expected her to go for ...' He inhaled a lump of air. '...my brother...' Sadness and anger possessed him once again. As he made his way to the well, he dropped to his knees in relief.

There she was, sleeping against the tree and still in his time. He was afraid of what would happen if he journeyed through the well with his injuries, but he didn't need to. He couldn't get up anymore because his energy had been exhausted. He crawled his way to her on his knees, and nudged her legs with his head when he reached her.

"Kagome," he whispered. She whimpered.

"Not now Mom...just five more minutes..." she said sleepily, her body fighting to stay asleep.

He wore a grin of relief as she called out to her mom in her sleep and not to his brother.

"Kagome...wake up," he whispered again. He saw her head raise slowly, her eyelashes fluttering over her glazed eyes.

"Inuyasha ...?" she asked, her ears recognizing the voice that roused her. When she looked over and confirmed that it was in fact him, she sat up straight and gave him a worried and agonized look. She backed away slightly, her eyes ebbing with tears. She covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the involuntary sobs that surfaced.

"Kagome, we need to talk," he said, his solemn expression never leaving hers. His voice rang with seriousness. Kagome closed her eyes relishing in the beauty of it. She nodded her head.

"Ask of me what you want, Inuyasha," she choked out. He watched as her hands shook over her mouth.

He growled. Her pitiful state raked over his nerves. In a flash of unknown reserved strength, he grabbed her hands from her face and gave her a piercing stare. Their eyes locked knowing that with this moment everything about them, their relationship, their feelings, would change.

Kagome looked away from him, fearing the worst. She felt it was only inevitable that he would once and for all send her away, never again to renew their bond. She could feel the strings of their loyalty fray slowly.

"Look at me!" he snarled. He pulled her closer to him, and she dutifully complied to the angry command.

"I know what you did. I heard everything you said to him and everything you said to the others when you brought me back," he said suddenly. Still, silence overwhelmed them. He sighed heavily.

"I just want to know one thing, Kagome," he asked. Her spine tingled with nervousness.

'Only one thing?' She feared the next words to come from his mouth.

"Why?" he asked softly, his voice devoid of any anger. With clear eyes ebbing with compassion, he looked at her with tenderness and confusion. Despite all his anger, Kagome could see that Inuyasha really just wanted to understand her reasoning. "Why did you do it? Why didn't you think that I was strong enough to defeat him if he came after me? That I couldn't protect you?" He grabbed her shoulders sternly. She flopped lifelessly in his arms, feeling the sting of his depression. "Why did you do that, you idiot! I promised you I'd always protect you so why'd you have to go and make a deal like that? Have you no respect for yourself?"

His words pricked at her like thorns. He leaned into her chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, soaking up her body heat. Kagome embraced him back, and she ran her fingers through his hair, her countless tears dampening the strands under her face.

"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha," she sobbed, feeling all the pain of the past few days, of the shame and rejection of her friends, flowing through her. "I had no choice. He came to me, and I thought he'd kill me if I refused. When he offered the deal, I thought I would stop being useless to you, that I could do something for a change to protect you! I didn't care what it was! I wanted to do it for us! To protect us! I never thought he'd keep me..." her voice trailed off and she knew Inuyasha was listening closely. "I never thought he'd continue. I thought, since I was a human, he'd get bored with me and throw me aside. But..." she could feel Inuyasha shaking with fury and anguish in her arms. "... he never let me go...and I ...never let him go..."

Inuyasha pushed her out of his arms, and he glared at her with anger. "That's enough!" He growled audibly at her. "Do you expect me to believe that Sesshoumaru cares about you...a human?"

Kagome gave him a blank expression. She shot him an opposing remark, "After all I have done, and after all the betrayal and rejection by my friends, do you think I would LIE?"

He fisted his hands on the ground and turned his gaze away from her. Her face was mottled with her tears and snot.

Finally, he broke the silence and said with defeat, "I think...but I don't want to believe it...that Sesshoumaru cares about you."

Kagome gave him a weak chuckle of sarcasm. "You must be joking. I'm only a plaything to him." She had injured herself with that comment, but she didn't care.

She was in so much pain that she felt she rightly deserved every lash and beating she could get, even if it came from her own words. She waited for Inuyasha's hand to strike.

But it never came.

"No." He shook his head and began to speak rationally. "He would not have kept you alive or me for that matter, the last time if he didn't ...." he paused, feeling his own tongue tainted with his impending words. "...care about you in some particular way."

Kagome gave him a look of tenacity. "You're wrong. He wants nothing to do with me! Did you not hear it yourself? He HATES me now, as much as I HATE him for almost killing you and revealing the plan the way he did."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh...so you would have preferred that you were never found out!" He got up ignoring the pain from his wounds to stand over her. "How long would you have gone sneaking off with him before you told me? Huh? Tell me the truth Kagome!"

She bent her head low, drowning in his shadow. She wanted so desperately to lie to him, to ease the pain, but she could not. Enough damage had been done already.

"I wasn't planning on ever telling you," she whispered. She flinched, wholly expecting his elbow to impale her skull out of pure rage.

But it did not.

He only turned around and clawed the tree in frustration.

She looked up and begged with him. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry, but I didn't intend for it to come this far. It wasn't supposed to mean anything! I didn't expect for it to last beyond defeating Naraku! I had hoped that you would never know, and in the end, I was just supposed to go home with my shame of betraying you and happiness that I was privileged to meet you. You would go with Kikyou, and I would go home. No one was ever to know!" She had begun to sob again after just calming down, and the muscles in her throat complained at her convulsions.

Their voices were muted again, and the only sounds that could be heard were Kagome's sniffling and Inuyasha's erratic breathing.

Finally he said, breaking the silence, "You thought I'd go off with Kikyou?"

Kagome nodded. "It was meant to be, right? I was just second best. Inuyasha you know I could never live with that."

"So you were just going to leave me?" He snarled. "Kikyou is dead, you fool! Once I repaid my debt to her I was going to ..." He paused and looked up into her hopeful eyes. "I was going to be with you."

Simultaneously her world shattered and was reborn only to readily implode again. Now she knew for sure that she screwed up. She whispered with all loss of hope, "I...I didn't know. I always thought..."

"Idiot!" He rushed over to her again, embracing her and preventing her weak collapse into the grass. She felt her body wither and her bones shatter as she finally realized his true intentions. Now, with her sins sewn on her chest, all the purity of that dream shook with ragged instability.

She melded to the softness of his arms. She sobbed uncontrollably, feeling the weight of her own melancholy as her own voice rabidly echoed in her mind. 'I don't deserve him! I don't deserve him!'

For many moments in the cold night, they remained like this, sharing each other's pain without words, only expressing sorrow through their embrace and the way air left their lungs.

Finally, Inuyasha said, "This whole thing, let's just put it behind us, shall we?" She nodded, her hope becoming kinetic by the sanity in his words. "It's going to take time, but as long as the deal is off, we can get through this."

She sniffled. "But for how long? And what of the others?" she asked, still not sure of his devotion of her. Like he said, it would take time to renew trust in her.

He released his hold on her. He did not smile, but his eyes were tender amid the solemnity of his face. "I haven't forgiven you yet, and I'm sorry, but I can't just give it out freely when I don't feel it." She nodded, feeling her tears and sadness returning to her. She knew it was too good to be true that he would so quickly forgive and forget. Pain still lingered in his voice. "As for the others, I can't speak for them. You'll have to do this all on your own."

And she would.

She wiped her tears away and stood up. He looked at her with wonder. She seemed to acquire more confidence than he had expected.

"Well, then, I'm going home for awhile," she said. His face fell, but he nodded anyway. He understood that she needed some comfort, and with the way everyone regarded her, she wouldn't be able to get that here for a long while. She had a home and parents to go to.

Kagome's mind flashed with the image of her mother holding her and her brother hugging her. She smiled in anticipation of the therapeutic nature of being with her own family. Her mother's smiles would dull the pain of her own sins. Mother's smiles always had that sort of magic.

She walked toward the well. She turned around for a moment, and realized that Inuyasha had gone. Her heart fell only slightly that he did not stay to see her off.

Yet, it was her reality. 'It's going to take time.'

She readied herself on the lip of the well, preparing to cross the barrier between worlds when she heard the scream of a child. She looked in the direction of the West, and her senses soared.

Someone needed help.

She ran in that direction as fast as her legs could take her, and she abandoned all her sorrow and anguish for the will to help someone else. Maybe she would bravely defend this victim, and even die saving someone else. She wouldn't be looked upon as so tainted anymore. Perhaps her anguish and shame would be redeemed in the eyes of those she held dear.

And when she was helping people, she was in character. Everything was forgotten in the task of aiding a person in need.

The screams grew in urgency as she descended upon them. They were achingly familiar, her eyes widening when she matched the terrified sounds with a face as she entered the clearing.

'Rin...'

A large bear demon was looming towards the girl, and her small toad guardian was beaten to a pulp and unconscious off to the side, most likely trying to defend her.

Kagome frantically searched around, seeking Rin's main guardian who was nowhere in sight. As the bear's paw was lashing out toward Rin, Kagome knew she had to think fast. She spotted a long, thin fallen branch lying on the ground next to her feet. She picked it up, wishing that it was an arrow and she had a bow.

But she could not wish for things she had no time to wish for.

Rin cried piteously as the bear's claw slashed at her arm. She had moved just quick enough to avoid a fatal blow from the bear. Kagome abandoned all her doubts and fears, and feeling the burden of life in general, she lunged at the bear, her psyche in full fury that the bear would dare harm one so pure as Rin.

As she held the long stick like a spear, it glowed with her pink energy, breathing an autonomous will into the spear as it lunged straight for its heart. Kagome screeched in agony and rage. As her energy collided with the aura of the demon bear, it exploded in a cascade of dust throughout the clearing. Rin shielded her eyes, and Kagome sank to her knees in relief.

Rin started to run over to her savior, but stopped in her tracks as she noticed someone approaching behind Kagome.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Kagome-san saved me!" the young girl bubbled. Rin then continued towards Kagome, giving her a quick squeeze before skipping over to her lord. Jaken was beginning to stir awake. He wobbled as he got to his feet and teetered closer to Sesshoumaru, making his endless apologies for failing the girl.

Sesshoumaru said nothing in response to Jaken's failure. He looked down at Kagome, who stared at the ground in fear and exhaustion. "Jaken, take Rin back to the campsite," he ordered.

Jaken obeyed and led the energetic girl back to through the forest away from Kagome and Sesshoumaru's position.

Sesshoumaru was beginning to get bored with Kagome's silence, and he was planning to leave her there without saying a word. He didn't have anything to say to her himself since he had not resolved his feelings for her. Actually, he had been willfully avoiding any contemplation on her whatsoever, and he had not intended to see her so soon. Questions and emotions began to surface within him again upon seeing her now, and he was numb to pursue them, masking his emotions the best he could.

He was taken aback when she started to laugh. The laughter was weak, ebbing on mockery.

"Ha...how ironic. Of all people I run into..." she continued to chuckle. Then her laughter transformed into a strange murmur of weeping. Weakly, she stood up, still maintaining her gaze to the ground. "Well, I'll leave you be. I just wanted to help Rin. Don't mind me..."

She started to walk away, and he was ready to let her walk away. However, some strange emotion inside him became strong and usurped the power of his rationale. He grabbed her roughly, and she fell into him with not so much of a struggle. He rested her weight against his chest and within his arms. He studied her face, longing for her eyes and pink lips in the time they had been apart.

Through moistened eyes she pleaded with him weakly. Her lip quivered. He could smell fear and pain in her natural scent. "Please, let me go....Just let...let it all go."

He furrowed his brows at her. He didn't remember her being this weak. He shook her lightly. She wobbled in his arms as if she had no bones in her frame. "What is wrong with you?"

She laughed again, her sanity slipping further and further into nothingness. "They all hate me, you know." He watched her look in the direction of his brother's village. "It's because of you they hate me. You and me..." She started to hum in a sing-song voice. "You and me, we're a couple of loners, aren't we?"

He didn't answer. She rambled on.

"Where do you think the world would be if we did not exist? Hrmm?" He stayed silent. She seemed intent on answering that herself. "It would be right here, as it is. We have no love that binds us to this world. People without love float without solid bearing."

"You talk foolishness. You are sick," he said finally. She nodded in agreement.

"You're right, you know. I am foolish and sick. I'm sick from it all," she said, and she almost felt Pandora's box open in sync with her words. She struggled, trying to free herself from his arms with some small amount of energy.

"I'm going home," she said with finality. "He doesn't know, hell, none of them know I'm not coming back. I'm running away like the shameful coward that I am."

She finally looked up into eyes. She said with a sweet, regretful voice. "Goodbye, Sesshoumaru. I think..." She paused as she smiled warmly. "I think I will miss you, even though you hate me."

"Kagome," he said to her soothingly, and he flinched inwardly, wondering if it was truly he who had said her name like that.

He loosened his grip on her. He was going to let her go. And on top of all that, he was never going to see her again.

Should he really care?

She turned around suddenly, teetering weakly on exhausted legs. She pointed her finger accusingly at him

He stared back at her with mild interest.

"Oh, and remember this: I hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for what you did to Inuyasha. And I hate you for ruining my dignity. I guess...no, I KNOW you love it when you defeat your enemies until they drop to their knees in shame and defeat. Well, when you think of me, just know that you did that to me."

Her eyes were flaring with truth and tears. Her lip quivered, and her whimpering dulled into a small muffle of erratic sobs. She turned around againl limping to the well.

She had just had enough.

And so had he.

He rushed over to her, knocking her onto her back, his tall shadow towering over her. She gave him a challenging look painted with a smile. His loins burned for such resistance.

"Oh, are you going to kill me? Please do," she snarled with anger rising in her voice.

She had released her sadness with Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru was right here for her to release her anger. She had enough energy for that, and once that task was completed, she could hopefully die peacefully.

Unless Inuyasha was right, and Sesshoumaru cared enough for her not to kill her. She laughed out loud at that implausibility. Her audible chuckles stirred Sesshoumaru's rage. He grabbed her shoulders and pinned her down. She lifted her head towards him, a pleased smile gracing her lips. She waited for him to strike her.

'Please, Sesshoumaru, take all the pain away...' her soul hoped.

She closed her eyes, ready for the inevitable blow. A tear trailed down her cheek, cool in the breeze that flowed around them.

Yet, when she had expected to feel pain, she felt a tender, moist heat descend upon her suicidal smile. Her mouth slacked in shock, and he opened her lips further with his probing tongue. Her eyes shot open, and she caught a glance of Sesshoumaru close to her, tenderly kissing her. His brutal hold on her shoulders became softer, and she pulled away and started to shake with great unease.

"What the hell? Wha...What are you doing? I hate you!" she lashed at him, her body trying to squirm free of his needy grasp.

Sesshoumaru gave her piercing look. His stoic mask did not waver once. He held her with such strength, and his eyes peered into her soul, demanding submission. She became weak when she realized that portions of her body and mind desired this from him. She remembered that he was the one person who had made her into a woman.

Her pelvis warmed to the thought of this. She stuttered in confusion and overwhelming emotions. "Don't you hate me too? You're the one who said..."

He cut her off as he pressed his lips on hers again, muffling her cries of protest. Finally she subdued and pressed her lips against his as he kissed her. She then began to weakly struggle, her senses telling her not to relive her sins again when the pitiful shamed glances her friends gave her flashed in her mind.

'No...'

"Get off! Let me go! I hate you!" She struggled in his grasp, her hands balling in fists. He said nothing. He shoved her to the ground again, and she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her as her head made rough contact with the ground. She glared at him ferociously.

The more she struggled, the more he wanted her.

He let go of one of her arms to free his hand. She pounded on his face. He sliced off her clothes. She gasped, and then made a noise of violation.

"I don't want this!"

"Your body says otherwise!" he retorted, and then he let her go, but he straddled her with his weight immobilizing her. She became slack, but her eyes remained angry.

"You bastard," she huffed, her bare chest heaving with adrenaline and chaotic emotions. She watched him sordidly, yet her body bucked under him in wanton lust. She felt contemptible. She would only enjoy this dirty play if she could fully blame him.

"I won't do it, no matter what my body is telling you. My shame runs deep enough!" she spat at him.

He managed to delicately squirm free of his lower robes. He hovered over her, his hand stroking absently at her hair. And all through this, his face read no emotion. He was only doing what his body wanted him to do.

"You're ashamed that you're with me," he chuckled dangerously. "Oh, I too feel the shame as you do."

He stuck a clawed finger inside her, and she gasped at the pleasurable intrusion. Her eyes looked upward to the starry sky as he licked the skin that wrapped thinly over her clavicle. "After all, you are a mere human."

"So...you're just going to have your way with me and kill me afterward, right?" she patronized him. "I'm only a stupid human. What use could I possibly be to you further after you get what you want from me?" She moaned as he dug his finger deeper within her core, legs wriggling around his arm. He could feel her wetness blanket his hand and wrist.

Then, feeling that she was wet enough, he shifted himself closer to her. She looked away as he entered inside her. She had a scowl of disinterest on her face. Her muscles clenched sporadically as he began to shift inside her. She would will herself to not enjoy it. Maybe that way the sin wouldn't cut as deep.

He grabbed her chin and made her face him. She glared at him, and he became more intrigued when her lip rippled to reveal some of her teeth. He unexpectedly smirked.

He swiftly pulled out of her. She managed a gasp of shock as his manhood seared a burning path along her inner walls as it exited. She screamed softly as he grabbed her hair and then pulled her up with him. She stood gaining balance on her feet, and then with a strong surge of physical strength, she pushed him away from her. His grasp on her hair remained steadfast, and she was pushed along with him. Still, she felt victorious even if she only pushed him a few steps from his original stance.

He growled, a smirk remaining on his flawless face. He whipped her around, and slammed her body against a tree. She felt her skin scrape against the bark. She mewled in pain. He pushed his hand on her back, not letting her move from where she had hit the tree. He reached down with his other hand and spread her legs, lifted her hips and impaled himself within her. She screamed from the pain of the scratching bark and the rough ecstasy as he bore into her.

Her slick thighs rocked swiftly against his, and she felt his balls beat systematically against her with each one of his thrusts. She screamed, feeling the burning erotica as he rammed into her.

Despite the roughness, her body was becoming fulfilled. She wanted so badly to hate him. She snarled when he grabbed her breast from behind and squeezed it to the brink of immeasurable pain. She said in a ragged breath, "You bastard, I hate you."

He continued to smirk. And when she came he pulled from her, wiping the rivers of her so-called hate off his penis and licking up the fluids. She scowled at him, not at all amused at his delight. She rested her back against the tree and continued to glare at him. His eyes danced with amusement as she continued to convince him of her loathing. He walked over closer to her, the shadow of his perfect body encasing her in a prison. He grabbed her arm and forced her into his chest. He rested his chin on her head. She shivered in his touch, her body betraying her mind again as she slacked into his embrace. Absently, she started running her fingers through his hair.

Her thoughts wandered aimlessly. Being in his arms and feeling the touch of his hair and skin made her world with Inuyasha disappear.

Her friends' shame of her didn't matter in the slightest when Sesshoumaru held her like this. He was an addiction, and she dared not tell him of her thoughts. She would struggle as much as she could to keep her heart away from him.

"This will never happen again," she said finally, her voice solid with resolution. He continued to caress her bare skin with his claws, not allowing her to break from him. But she did, and turned her back to him. He watched her pick up what little she had left of her clothes and begin to walk away.

"If you say so," he replied, voice sounding wistful.

She did not respond, but continued to walk away from him until she was out of sight, and most likely returning to the place she called home. He remained standing there, staring at the last spot where he had seen her, as if searching for a shadow of the ghost her physical form left behind. He sniffed the air to catch the last scent of her mixed with him.

He did not believe her when she said that. He did not believe himself as he agreed.

She would be back in his arms again; he was sure of it.

TBC...


	4. Sinner Take All

"Is there something you need from me?

Are you having your fun?

I never agreed to be

Your holy one."

"Barrel of a Gun" by Depeche Mode

By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Four: Sinner Take All

Kagome felt amazing.

She had forgotten how she had always taken advantage of the fact that she lived in another world, away from the Warring States period. She didn't even belong there, and she felt that more now than ever. She basked in the privilege that she may be unloved in that other world, but things were different in her own. When her mother embraced her after coming back yesterday, she finally felt like she was home, and the rotten realities of the other world drifted from her mind like a dream.

Not so many people had the opportunity to run away from their worlds. If they fucked up, they had to deal with it. She, on the other hand, could just run away. Knowing she belonged HERE in modern times made her feel less ashamed of running away at all.

She scrunched her face in anger in the contours of her pink pillow. "All I have to do is find the damn jewel. So what if they hate me; from now on I'm there just to collect the jewel and not make happy, pure faces at them all the time."

She rolled onto her back and stared at her ceiling. Internally, she could say that, but she frowned anyway. She had liked her role as the good girl of the group, the one with the least depressing problems. "I mean, everyone is isolated in their own way. Everyone has their own demons. Am I so different?"

She sighed in disgust as she remembered everyone's disappointed faces in regards to her situation. 'Some friends they turned out to be.' Most good friends would understand and forgive if they cared. Their reaction to her situation seemed evident that they really didn't consider her after all.

"Look at me. I'm Kagome from the future with wonderful things and the reincarnated soul of a powerful and pure miko. Yep, I'm so wonderfully pure that I don't have any problems at all." The muscles in her face tensed even more, and tears ebbed at her eyes. "I'm not supposed to make mistakes like Sango with her unhealthy obsession with her younger brother. I mean, she did steal the Tetsusaiga, sided with Naraku once, and even knocks Miroku into unconsciousness every day. She's so PERFECT!" Kagome rolled her eyes, her voice getting louder yet still without an audience. "And then there's Miroku, who hits on women constantly, steals, lies, cheats....everything in the book! The judge would throw away the key if he ever tried Miroku!"

She looked around the room, her anger rising. She fought back her tears, and pursed her lips in anger. "Let's not forget about Inuyasha, who's two-timed me ever since we've been together. He's always known how I've felt, but he's never done anything about it! And with Kikyou, she's dead for crying out loud! What does he hope to accomplish by always meeting her in secret? I mean, I don't know what they do together when they sneak off. I can't believe I put up with that." She shook her head. The anger and tension swelled low in her stomach, but it would always go away. She couldn't stay angry at anyone for very long. She forgave people all the time. She would even forgive Sesshoumaru for uncovering their plan if he apologized.

Her eyes glossed over in a haze. The ceiling didn't seem so defined anymore as she let the tears bubble up over her eyes. She saw his face hover over her like a ghost. For the past few times they've seen each other, even in times of discourse, she could still remember the budding emotions on his face.

She had never seen so many emotions on that man's face before.

His low betrayed voice stuck the walls inside her ears. 'If it meant nothing to you...'

Her eyes widened as things were sinking in. She had seen it. The Great Sesshoumaru had experienced an emotional reaction to her relationship with Inuyasha. In his eyes she had seen such fire and rage, but not that of someone who was losing a possession, but as someone really losing something very important.

Her lips quivered as she felt a sob rising.

They had experienced their first emotions together, and she had trampled on it in front of his brother. He had heard them and interpreted the last meetings as unimportant to her. But that wasn't the case.

If she could only explain...

And the last time seeing him, she was so angry and drawn within herself she had no will to explain herself to him. She lashed out at him, proclaiming her hate and begging him to kill her.

Feeling the soft bed and the warm reminder of her mother's embrace, Kagome couldn't believe she had come to that point. She certainly didn't want to die now, but she didn't want to leave either. She wanted to stay at home forever and forget everything.

But something inside her tugged on her conscience. There were still things she had to do.

"Kagome!" her mother yelled from downstairs. Kagome was jarred out of her reverie. "Your friend Ayumi is on the phone!"

Kagome blinked, and then a smile widened on her face. Her friends... how she missed them.

"Thanks, Mom! I'll pick up here!" Kagome ran to her phone on her nightstand and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" She heard her mother click the phone on the other end.

"Kagome? How are you feeling?" Ayumi asked with worry in her voice. Kagome's cheeks reddened with warmth and excitement.

"Good! I'm going to school tomorrow!" Kagome said with an anxious voice.

"That's great! I'm so glad you're feeling better. We've been worried about you. Your grandpa said you were sick with both the measles and rheumatism. I'm glad you're over that," Ayumi said. Kagome inwardly laughed at the illnesses on Grandpa's current excuse list.

"Yep! Never felt better! So...how's school been?" Kagome asked hungry for any gossip.

"Oh, not much. I think Eri's finally getting the courage to tell Hojo how she feels, but that boy just can't get over you!" Ayumi giggled, and Kagome let out a chuckle. "With you coming back tomorrow, it will be even more difficult for her to confess."

Kagome smiled, feeling her energy coming back to her at full force, "Tell you what, I'll help out. I'll finally tell Hojo straight out about my boyfriend."

Ayumi squealed on the other end of the phone. Kagome's smile faded, but remained lightly at the joy of talking to her friend. "Are you going to tell me some great news about you and you guy?"

Kagome chuckled again. "Don't worry, Ayumi. I've got loads of things to tell you guys. Just wait."

Kagome felt a hitch in her stomach, but tried to push it away. She didn't know if she should tell her friends about her strange affair with her "boyfriend's" brother. Yet, she remembered them always lecturing her about how she was too good for him and that she let him get away with too many bad things. Despite their advice and unhappiness with her choice, they still supported her even when they didn't like it.

"That's what true friends are about," Kagome said after Ayumi hung up with her. Kagome settled back into her bed with a merry sigh.

________________________________________

When Kagome got to school and changed shoes, her friends came running up to her giggling and beaming with jubilant faces. They grabbed her and locked arms with her, leading her to class. Her heart swelled at how amazing her friends' acceptance felt. In this time, she really felt she did belong. Their presence had almost washed away all the bad stuff that had happened during her last visit to Edo Japan.

Almost.

After school, the girls had dragged her along to a treat at their favorite fast food joint, telling stories of new and old, and dreaming about good grades and career dreams. Eri spoke up shyly to reveal her feelings of Hojo to Kagome.

"Well, I know you aren't interested in him, Kagome, since you already have a boyfriend. And Hojo is by no means bad looking..." Eri stuttered, fidgeting with her hands. Kagome smiled gently at her actions. She was jealous of Eri, experiencing such feelings and playing them out so innocently. Kagome didn't feel innocent any more.

"He's the most popular boy in school! Who doesn't want him?" Yuka proclaimed, chomping on a piece of her hamburger.

"Yeah, but face it, ladies, the guy is dense," Ayumi said with her mouth full. Her friends nodded. "If only he knew that a certain girl here was attached already, then maybe Eri would have a chance."

"Right!" Yuka said defiantly, slurping on her shake. Kagome sighed.

"That's for sure," Eri said, looking at Kagome with pleading eyes. She pointed her finger at Kagome with mock anger. "Kagome, you have to tell that knucklehead that you're not interested and have someone already! That poor dope shouldn't be deluded any further."

Yuka laughed and Ayumi wore a big grin.

"Right, I don't mind talking to Hojo about that for sure, it's just that..." Kagome hesitated, and caught their attention quickly. Inquiring eyes pierced into her like swords.

Ayumi took a deep breath and shouted, "KAGOME!

What's going on? Don't tell me you're not together? Did he cheat on you?"

"Well..." Kagome's face became unreadable. Her friends sat back in the booth, their backs rigid for some impending news.

"You see, I wasn't sure if he was really cheating or not, so I sorta...stopped being romantic with him," Kagome said, in the best possible translation she could muster. Her friends were glued to her for more details.

"And...then we kinda had some outside issues ..." 'Naraku, for one,' Kagome mused to herself. "And I was quite lonely, and then suddenly..."

Her friends' eyes were that of a school of guppies. Kagome chuckled weakly. "His really gorgeous brother came along and well, we developed a strange friendship," Kagome said, feeling anxiety build up within her. Her friends' faces paled, and their mouths were agape.

"Wait...his brother???!!!! The one you told us about that is like, ten times worse then your boyfriend?" Kagome nodded, still wearing a twisted fake smile. She heard a collective sigh from them, and Yuka slouched back in her chair.

Ayumi, eyes still intense, had the bravado to ask her, "So what kind of friendship was this?"

Kagome almost fell out of her booth. She waved her hand in the air and said, "Well, we started a friendship in a way that led to some strange benefits, and then it got kinda serious at the end, but both of us were kinda confused about our feelings ..."

"Strange benefits!" Eri's jaw had dropped again, her face turning into a crimson blush. "What did you do, Kagome?"

"Did you fool around with him?" Ayumi asked. Kagome slumped in her booth and wore a face of defeat. Ayumi was always the blunt one. Kagome nodded in response.

Though, instead of collective sighs of disappointment, she heard high-pitched squeals of entertainment instead.

"Oh my GOD!" Yuka burst. She fanned herself, and Kagome couldn't help but inwardly laugh. Yuka blinked at her. "And you said this guy was hot?"

"Uh...majorly, beyond international model hot," Kagome confirmed.

"Who does he look like? Anyone famous?" Eri asked giggling. The girls were squeezing their hands together in pure excitement to each and every word out of Kagome's mouth.

Kagome pondered for a moment. Sesshoumaru wasn't human, and he certainly didn't look Japanese with golden eyes and long silver hair. He looked very otherworldly. "Well, he has bleached blonde hair past his waist and really light hazel eyes. His skin is really light. He's really tall, and he works out a lot. He practices...kendo, so he's really agile but strong. And he has some interesting tattoos on his face and arm and..." she blushed, and stopped herself as Eri chuckled. "He doesn't really resemble anyone in particular though."

She looked over to see stars in her friend's eyes as they pictured him.

"So how far did you get with this guy?" Yuka asked, elbowing her teasingly. Kagome blushed.

"Well, let's not get into that," Kagome said. Her friends sighed in disappointment.

"So what's the problem? You seem to have found a great guy," Ayumi said nonchalantly.

"Well, his brother found out about us, and was not happy," Kagome said bluntly. Eri almost spit out her drink.

"Oh my god! You two timed the two timer!" Yuka announced. Kagome shushed her too keep her voice down in the restaurant while others were looking at her with stunned faces.

"Well, she wasn't really with him," Ayumi pointed out. "He had two timed her so much that they grew apart. It was only natural she seek comfort somewhere else."

Eri nodded. "Right, and the way he treated you, I was surprised you didn't search sooner."

Yuka looked at Kagome and saw sadness in her face. 'If they knew the whole truth, would they then think I'm terrible?' she asked herself. Although, she did tell them the gist of everything. "It got pretty serious."

Yuka nodded. "Yeah. You seem a lot more grown up lately, Kagome." Kagome turned and looked at her friend. She was smiling. "So, you messed around a bit with his brother. Big deal. It's not like that jerk didn't have it coming. And things are going well with the brother?"

Kagome sighed. "That's the problem. I care about them both," she admitted freely. "But now, I'm at a standstill. Inuyasha, my ex or boyfriend or friend, or whatever, thinks I've betrayed him. He looks at me like I'm dirty. His brother feels ashamed of me as well. You see, I'm not really his ideal woman, and he probably feels it to be wrong to have feelings for me."

Yuka slammed her drink on the table. "Damn it! How dare that creep consider you dirty after the way he's treated you!"

"But YOU guys don't think I'm dirty...do you?" Sadness ebbed in Kagome's voice. Eri sighed.

"Of course not. You weren't messing around with both of them, or even worse, three or four guys at the same time. You were seeing one exclusively, even if the other one thought you were supposed to be with him," she snorted. "Stop worrying about it. If he can't forgive you that, then he's not worth it, especially after all the mistakes he's made."

Ayumi nodded. "That's right! Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody's perfect, Kagome, not even you."

"Ha!" Yuka said, "Kagome IS perfect. She's got hot guys chasing after her." Then she winked at Kagome.

"Besides, Kagome, this is 2005, Japan isn't what it used to be. People now aren't as innocent as they used to be. Take for example, all those kogals in Shibuya. You're life is waaaaay more proper compared to theirs," Eri countered, earning laughs from the girl's at the table.

"Thanks, you guys. You always know what to say," Kagome said, presenting them with a confident smile.

Yuka patted her shoulder and nodded.

Kagome felt warmth and acceptance wash over her, never wanting the feeling to end. This was how real friends were supposed to be like.

________________________________________

Someone waiting outside stopped Kagome as she and the girls left the fast food place.

"Hojo-kun!" she said, surprised at his sudden appearance. He gave her a sheepish grin. She sagged her shoulders thinking of Eri.

"Kagome, Eri told me that you wanted to talk to me," he said. Kagome looked at him, smiled, and then nodded lightly.

"Yes, I think we should talk about what's going on between us," Kagome said bluntly. Hojo blushed. She saw him swallow nervously. Kagome sighed. "C'mon, let's sit down over in the park."

Hojo looked over at the sunset full of saturated colors. His words seemed to be trapped by the silence between them.

"Listen, Hojo-kun," Kagome said finally, "I know how you feel about me."

He said nothing, but he averted his gaze to look at her. His muscles visually tensed in anxiety.

"Look, I don't know how else to say this, but I'm already seeing someone. And you can't keep shooting down the obvious signals that it's true." Kagome felt a weight fall off her shoulders. Hojo slumped back in the bench, but he was smiling in relief. She heard a breath escape his breath.

"Hojo-kun? Are you okay?" Kagome asked worriedly.

"Well, not really," he said, his heart breaking, "But it feels better knowing then to continue with this charade. I'm sorry if I ever seemed bothersome, Higurashi."

She shook her head. "Not at all. In fact, I'm flattered that a nice good-looking guy like you would go for me, but the problem is, I'm one of those romantic types. I've always known that someone is waiting only for me, and I'm sorry if that person can't be you. I just know, I'll find him when I see him." She looked pensively at the sunset.

The night sky was invading the rich colors of a fading afternoon. The blue was as dark as a river. She smiled as the moon called to her deepest feelings.

"I understand," he said sadly, but his voice ringing with resolve. "Though I see you probably already have found that person."

She looked at him with an unreadable face. "I thought I did, once. Now, I'm not so sure."

Hojo looked at her with concern, mirroring the way he felt when he gave her gifts and advice about her health, only this time, she knew he was considering her now as only a friend. "What's wrong?"

Kagome let out a sob. Something in his gentle voice brought out all her emotions rushing in from their abandoned depths. She slapped her hands over her eyes to prevent him from seeing her tears. "I don't know. It's all so complicated. I did something terrible to someone very important to me out of foolish reasons. Now, the person I've always cared about sees me in a much harsher light. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me." She sniffled, and Hojo kept quiet to let her continue. "I just don't know anymore. I don't know who I love or who I'm supposed to be with. I know it has to be one of them, but I can't choose because I'm so confused and nothing is defined!" She buried her face in her hands, resting on her thighs. Her arms quivered in her sadness. Hojo brought her into the crook of his arm. Kagome warmed at feeling his comforting heat spilling over her. His hand rubbed small circles on her back as if she were a child. She couldn't stop herself, and she fell into him, crying with all that she had locked inside.

"Shhh..." he said, and his voice was even more comforting than before. "Whatever you did, Kagome, you can make up for it. You don't have to keep torturing yourself."

She broke away and looked at him through tears.

"Hojo-kun..."

"The Kagome I know would not let anything get her down. You have to be strong and fight this," he said, getting up from the bench. He offered her his hand. She looked at him with surprise. She took his hand, still afraid to smile as hope germinated slowly beneath her regrets. "C'mon. I'll take you home."

And somewhere down the quieting streets of Tokyo, Kagome felt her nerve re-emerge. The comfort of her friends' words, of Hojo's hand, were all the things friends were supposed to give her when she was feeling her worst.

Their comfort was real.

And with resolve swirling in her dark eyes, she bit her lip and inwardly anticipated the upcoming battle. She would go back to the Warring States, and if those people were really her true and trusted friends, she would show them EXACTLY how friends should treat each other. Kagome would teach them all that she was not going to take this lying down forever.

If they were not generous enough to forgive her, then their friendship be damned.

________________________________________

She stomped into Kaede's hut with determination boiling over her face. She looked squarely into the stunned eyes of all her comrades. Whether they wanted her there or not, she didn't care. She pursed her lips together and met their intensity with her own. She threw her yellow bag roughly to the ground. Shippo backed behind Sango in slight fear.

Miroku was about to open his mouth to say something, but Kagome beat him to it.

"Listen up, everyone!" The snarl in her voice rang throughout their ears. Even Inuyasha was surprised. "Whatever reservations you have about my actions are yours to have. If you want to stop being my friend because of my mistake, then fine. But what I won't accept is your typecasting of me. If you thought I was some pure and holy person that could do no wrong, then you're sadly misguided. Need I remind you that I am human and make mistakes, just like all of you do? To you, my mistakes may weigh greater than others, but it does not mean I don't have the right to repent and rectify them."

She looked over at everyone, and she saw their own individual confusion and regret settling within their faces. Shippo dropped his arms at his sides and started to walk up to Kagome. She gave him a serious glare.

"I realize it will take time for you to forgive me, and I do not expect it right away. Still, we have a mission with a demon to destroy and a jewel to complete, so in regards to group morale, I would kindly not like this group to be silent and awkward. We can work together toward our goals, and hopefully, within time, you will have regard for me again."

Kagome stood firmly on her feet, and she felt power surge throughout her veins. Yes, she was going to beat this. She looked at the apologetic faces of her friends, and celebrated within herself. She smiled at them warmly, adding her old charm to such a touchy situation. "Besides, I'm here and I'm not going to run away. I belong here as much as any of you. Whether you want me or not, I have a duty, and I won't let anyone keep me down. If that were to happen, I might as well surrender to Naraku the first chance I get."

Her comrades nodded at her, weakly smiling but faces showing room for impending forgiveness. Inuyasha leaned against the shed, a small smile creeping on his face, as well. As her determined voice rang through his ears, he swelled jubilantly inside as he saw the old Kagome coming back to him. Things were different, but they had the whole future to make things right again.

________________________________________

Kagome hummed happily as she enjoyed a solitary evening in a hot spring. The moon was out again, reflecting light on the spring's rising moisture. She indulged in the wet heat of the spring, the sweet reward for her resounding victory among her friends. Very soon, she would regain their trust again.

Still, things weren't resolved with Sesshoumaru, and she hoped that Inuyasha had been wrong, that Sesshoumaru did not care about her and would forget about her.

Deep inside her heart, she felt robbed of seeing Sesshoumaru finally have feelings. She was watching him grow, his frozen heart melting slowly as she encountered him time and again. However, if she was right, then he had probably been hurt by the emotion, and maybe he would cover it up and never revisit those sensations again, even with her.

She felt sad. Seeing a cold-hearted demon finally discover love was a beautiful phenomenon indeed. And she couldn't help feeling that she, too, was missing him. He wasn't the only one that was going through changing emotions.

"I wish I could tell Sesshoumaru that I really don't hate him after all," she whispered into the night, closing her eyes as she rested against a rock and relishing the final moments of her bath.

Suddenly, her senses peaked as a large, ominous presence intruded upon her bath. She opened her eyes quickly, darting them around the forest.

"Who's there?" she called out with anger and fear. She folded her arms around herself to cover her chest.

"It's good to know that you don't hate me," a voice said with velvet amusement. Her face paled in terror.

Sesshoumaru came out into the open of the spring and stood at the edge of it, wearing neither his armor nor his fluffy pelt. His kimono was different too, the fabric a shade of the darkest blue. She watched as he began tugging at the sashes around his waist.

"Don't!" she commanded, her eyes ablaze. Her voice was pleading, and he didn't like the sound of it. "Please, leave."

She was different than before. Her body did not swell with arousal for him, and yet the only emotion he could sense was fear and worry. He stopped in his tracked and studied her.

"I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru," she responded, still clutching herself to hide from him. She acted as if she had regained her innocence. "I may have been out of it, but I really meant what I said last time. I don't want it to happen again."

Her words rang with truth, but there was an exception laced within her intention.

"You do not hate me; you said it," he said cocking his head and struggling to understand her motives.

"Yes, and that's true, but I just got back, and I'm slowly regaining their friendship," she said, referring to her traveling companions.

His eyes raged at her. "I do not care what those fools think!"

"But I do!" she countered. She sighed. "Look, it's obvious that there's something unexplainable happening to us. We're both drawn to each other for some reason, and I don't know why."

His silence fell heavy over her. "But we can't go back doing what were doing. It's not right," she said finally, sinking into the water with slight relief, looking away from his steady gaze.

When he had not answered her, she assumed he had left her until she heard a splash indicate the opposite was true. He came over to her, unclothed, the moisture from the misty air cloaking his bare skin. Her eyes widened at the intrusion.

He stopped in front of her, soaking in her presence. She would have never guessed, but his body had longed for her during her absence. His demon side craved her defiance, and the part that made him a man craved her body. Undefined emotions raged within him. His feelings be damned. He wanted her, and she did not hate him. She held something for him, and he longed to feel her cup his face and smile only for him again.

"What is so wrong about it?" he asked in a husky whisper. He traced a claw down her soft fragile jaw line. Her jaw quivered in response. She was utterly at a loss at what to do. No woman in her right mind would deny such a beautiful creature the pleasure he desired. As shimmering tendrils of his silver hair bobbed at the surface, she felt her knees weaken. She was so unworthy. His face dipped down to kiss her.

"I - I can't," she said, her voice unstable. "I just regained their trust. I can't lose again what I have gained back."

"I don't see the problem," he said, staring hungrily at her lips. He shifted his body closer to hers. She felt his arousal under the water's surface. "We're just two lonely ....what did you call it? Two lonely people who float without solid bearing?"

Her eyes widened when he had remembered her words so clearly. Her eyes shut in frustration as her barriers were weakening. She exhaled, "No, you'll betray me again." She backed away from him, trying to get past him. He crowded her against the rock, blocking escape. She couldn't possibly get by and she could back up no more as she felt the rock press up against her.

Sesshoumaru closed in on her, catching her in a demanding embrace.

"There will be no more betrayal," he said in a dangerous voice. His eyes glinted of red, and he heard Kagome gasp. "You are mine, and I will know this and you will know this, but no one else will ever know."

Her eyes raged in anger. "I'm not just some possession!" She struggled unsuccessfully within his grasp. Her struggling fueled the beast within him to take her.

"No, you are more than a possession, Kagome." He nibbled on her ear, and she slumped into his arms. ]

"Much, much more..."

TBC...


	5. Stem from Reason

"I don't know why

I can't settle down

something from my childhood

I still haven't found

and I don't wanna hurt you

with all my longings and my doubts

Just the way I need to feel free

I can see how it brings you down"

"Help me be good to you," by Heather Nova

By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Five: Stem from Reason

Brushing back a dark stream of hair from her face, Sesshoumaru studied her just before waking her at the rise of dawn.

In the last couple of weeks, she had been like this with him, stealing away moments just to see him and mold her body against his. They continued to indulge in moonlight meetings while running and ducking from those whom would judge them.

He surprised himself, but each meeting with her caused him to continue the running and hiding, and he had never been one to hide.

Though, he hated to admit it, the human he became so attached to was initially right. As long as they pursued Naraku and filled the roles they were destined to fill, they could not come out into the open with the way things truly were. They had to treat everything like a believable fairytale, and their constant carnal embraces would be considered more than unnatural to the subplot.

Although he gritted his teeth to the reality of it, and in his inherent nature, he'd rather be free and take what belonged to him and throw all his troubles to the inviting wind.

He didn't know what he really wanted to do with Kagome, and he had no concrete plans for her. To his perspective, calling her his mate, wife, or mother to Rin just sounded plain silly. Their ties to each other were not like that at all. In fact, he was almost worried about where this would go because their endless string of days were shaping into a harbinger of a forlorn finality, thus stirring his need to keep her even more.

He was Sesshoumaru, one of the most feared lords in the land and the son of the most powerful dog demon ever known in these parts. He was never "worried" to say the least, especially to lose something like this human.

Though he had lost many people in his life and had survived, he pushed the feelings he had for such things behind thick smoke in the back of his mind. First he lost his mother, then his father, and now, if he ever lost Kagome to time or to his brother, he couldn't predict his own reactions.

His troubling feelings for her made their arrangement all the more important to him, and although revenge on Naraku was fresh in his mind, possessing Kagome to fill all the gaps and holes in his complicated heart was a near second to the things he considered worthy in his life.

He watched her as she shifted her hands in his furry pelt. Without thinking, he reached with his hand and lightly set it over hers, soaking in the heat by touching skin on skin.

They had been touching for almost a year now, out of a base agreement and now, finally, motivations of undefined need for each other. It was all very strange for him, but all he knew was that her hands were important to him.

The memory of her cupping his cheeks and gazing into his eyes with unconditional adorations stuck a chord with him. Replaying the image again, he was only slightly surprised when a soft word fell over his lips.

"Mother..."

Innately, his mother had been gentle, for a demon anyway. She was the most demure of her demon sisters, and his father had chosen her over them because of it. Her demeanor had intrigued him, and he felt that most female demons were boring and cliché in their cattiness.

Yet, sweet, smiling, Sorioko was hardly ordinary in demon terms. Her gentility was matched only by her grace. She was the envy of her sisters and cousins with her beauty and talents. Her power was not strong, but she could be dangerous if she was pushed too far. And when her kin had long raven hair, she was the odd one with her natural honey golden hair, flowing out beyond and trickling on the floor.

Sesshoumaru's father was initially smitten, but when a marriage was proposed to bind their two kingdoms, he realized Sorioko's true nature after he married her.

"She's mad," he would tell people with exasperation and annoyance in his voice. She would sit in the gardens throughout the days, picking flowers and holding her own lonely conversations that made little sense.

She was hardly responsive in bed as well. She would lay like a doll with her eyes barely alive. She would only move to merely breathe.

"Sorioko, what happened to you? Why are you like this?" he had demanded of her after the second time of their lovemaking. He even shook her to see if his harsh touch would generate a response. She would always moan weakly in violation and then continue to hum to herself, looking away from his face and letting tears clog up at the sides of her eyes.

Her lack of answers unnerved him. Only when she bore Sesshoumaru did he finally have some hope of her well being, yet even after his birth, he saw her begin to physically deteriorate.

He was abashed that such a strong dog demon would have these fits of madness. On some days she would appear normal, engaging in light conversation with the household servants. He would also see her practicing in the dojo to keep up her stamina and endurance.

Yet she would never consider HIM, and she treated his existence as something but a nuisance to her every day of living. Even after thirteen young days of marriage she woke up in a fright with him next to her. "Who are you?"

He had heard that expression more than enough.

Only when she had Sesshoumaru did she finally realize more of her surroundings. In fact, Sesshoumaru was the only beacon in her austere life.

"Isn't living at court so boring, Sesshoumaru?" she asked him when he was barely able to stand. He watched her with wide golden eyes. Looking at him she smoothed his silver hair and then cupped his jaw with her soft hand. She smiled warmly. "Don't you want to be free and wander the country side when you're older? You don't want to fade away like your mother by being stuck in this stuffy palace forever, do you?"

Words like that said aloud only fueled her depression, and she spiraled further into her own mania. She then wouldn't allow anyone near her other than Sesshoumaru. And as Sesshoumaru grew, he finally realized the reason his mother had been so mad.

"I don't love him, you know. That man in my bed every morning and your father," she looked out the window to the gloomy gray sky. She turned to him, and her eyes were darker than they had ever been. The young Sesshoumaru was almost frightened. He could feel her power increase as she burned with simmering fury. "They always tell you who you're supposed to love, but it's not fair. I already had someone that I loved."

"Mother, demons don't love," Sesshoumaru corrected her, his voice sounding oddly like his father's.

His mother smiled widely, so wide her cheeks must have hurt from such muscle expanding benevolence.

"That's right, dear. And remember that too. You're a demon, so you shouldn't fall in love," she wagged her index digit at him sternly. "Most especially, never fall in love with a human."

And suddenly, as footsteps clamored outside her bedroom door, she took her precious boy into a hard embrace.

"Sorioko," she heard the stern voice of the man who she did not love. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened as he recognized his father's voice. "Sorioko let us in or I'll bust down this screen. We need to talk, and I really don't want to intrude in here without your permission."

Her husband's voice was always so polite, but this time his tone rang with rage.

"Please, do come in. You've never stopped to intrude in my life before, darling," she said, acknowledging him for a rare time.

Without coming into her room yet, her husband stood at the closed shoji door and sighed at his wife's response. "We found your collection, Sorioko," Sesshoumaru's father said.

Sesshoumaru looked at his mother quizzically. Sorioko shut her eyes as she hid invisible tears.

Her voice was low and dangerous, and she gripped onto Sesshoumaru as she began to shake. "How DARE you invade my personal things!" She began to weep uncontrollably, holding onto Sesshoumaru as if he was only thing left she possessed. He struggled to be free from her mania, but she wouldn't let it be so. She held on to him, bruising him in her efforts.

"Mama, please," young Sesshoumaru pleaded, becoming slightly angry along with his confusion.

His father had heard his boy's distress, and he burst into her room with soldiers in tow. His eyes were ablaze when he saw his wife clutching his son and wailing piteously out of her madness. Sesshoumaru struggled to get free from her grasp and run to his father.

"GO AWAY!" was about the only coherent thing she had bellowed at him as she continued to cry loudly.

"Sorioko, stop this at once!" Sesshoumaru's father yelled, feeling his wife's chaotic energy stir around the atmosphere of the room like a weighted heat. He looked over at his soldiers and nodded. One of the lead soldiers bowed to him and stepped forward toward Sorioko. Sesshoumaru finally managed to get free from his mother, and he stood in front of her protectively as the soldier advanced.

"Sesshoumaru, step aside, your mother is mad!" he yelled at the boy, but his son gave him a dark look telling him that he would not allow anyone near his mother. His claws pulsed with green poison, itching to have a taste for blood.

"No one touches Mama," he said gnashing his teeth. His power became strong too, augmenting in his increasing anger. The palace would surely not hold if three dog demons decided to transform.

"Now, boy, you're mother is ill. She has kidnapped human males and hid them in the dojo for her amusement and display. The stench alone is driving everyone in the castle crazy."

"HA!" Sorioko yelled, "Who cares about those stupid human corpses!" Sorioko spat. "How dare you come here intending to kill me over stupid humans!"

Sesshoumaru's father put an arm in front of the soldier to ward him off for the time being. He was interested in Sorioko's explanation now as she began to finally engage in conversation with him.

"Ah yes, it's true, I would care less about them, but you see, my dear, all of those humans have similar features. If they did not, you would carve out their faces, am I not correct?" He saw her lip tremble and her brows furrow in fury. Finally he said, "You want those humans to replace HIM, don't you? You tried to see HIM in one of them. And when you could not, you kept them for your idle display."

"Insufferable," she whispered under ragged breath. "All of these meddlers telling me what to do, it's quite irksome."

"Yes, it is, isn't it, dear?" Sesshoumaru heard his father say, pacing about the room flexing his claws. "Normally, I wouldn't care if you kept an art gallery of rotting humans to replace your former human lover, and although it disturbs me as your husband, it does not matter to me as your Lord."

He heard her scoff after he said the word "lord." He continued, halting his pacing and looking at her with a stern expression. "However, that is not the only reason why you must die, Sorioko." He heard her murmur piteously and look out the window, trying to prevent her own tears. She readily knew his next accusation. "I know you are not well, Sorioko. I know you have these little fetishes you must indulge in. And I know you hate me, my dear. But when you conspire with my enemies for my death, your behavior has gone too far."

Sesshoumaru looked back and forth to his mother with stunned eyes. "Mama, is it true?"

Sorioko made a motion with her mouth to speak, but the words refused to come, and she hung her head low to stare at her lap.

"It is quite true, my boy. Your mother sent a letter in secret to the dragon lord in the North, asking for sanctuary and promising her loyalty to him and adamantly seeking my demise!" he yelled, staring at Sorioko intensely and watching for any guilt to appear on her face. The way the muscles in her lips contorted and the way her body shook uncontrollably was evidence enough for him of her treason.

Sesshoumaru's astonishment was engulfed by the silence of the room. His mother would not speak, only whimper and cry out nonsensical words. She began to whisper conversations to herself, answering herself, and nodding in agreement with herself.

Her husband had watched as well. He shook his head and sighed. Sesshoumaru's hands balled into fists at his sides. He was still a young demon, but he knew what his mother had done was wrong. He knew that she was insane. However, he had not grown old enough yet to let her go on such a crime. He was a boy who was very close to his mother, and he did not want her to leave him. He needed her.

With a gust of wind, Sesshoumaru looked up to see that his father had rushed over to his mother and picked her up, grabbing her by the throat. His father's stern, unblinking stare pierced his mother's smoky azure eyes as she struggled to breath.

"It's over with, Sorioko, I will now relieve you of your miserable existence," he heard her murmur a pleading sound. He would not hear anything more from the tongue of a traitor to his house, tightening his grip around her neck and subduing her control to turn into a demon form. She did not resist, and she heard her own bones crushing under his grasp.

"No, Father!" his son yelled out, with poison claws ripping at his thighs. But he would not hear him. He pushed the boy aside and continued his attentions on his wife. He softened his gaze momentarily on her, not wanting the last of his expressions she sees to be of malice.

"Sorioko, I'm sorry, but I will now take away your pain. You will be free," he said. She smiled at him.

"Wait..." she murmured, and his grip loosened somewhat. He looked at her with inquiry. Surely, she wasn't trying to fight back and reason with him. "Please, not like this. It is so...so dishonorable." She tapped the hilt of his sword with her fingers. He set her down to the ground with his hand still around her neck. She then drew the sword from his hilt, and he jumped back, releasing his grip. He watched her with curiosity, wondering if she would strike him. But something in her eyes had proved his reaction to be wrong.

She already knew there was no more hope for her. She looked at her son. He ran to her, embracing her as her shaky hand gripped the sword.

Then, while young Sesshoumaru was by her side, Sorioko plunged the sword into her own gut, ripping upward to her heart. She cried out in pain as blood and saliva spurted through her delicate lips. Sesshoumaru screamed as his wounded mother fell back into her chair, her entrails and blood spilling forth onto her delicate white satin clothes.

"Mama!" the young demon yelled. He tried to pull the sword from her gut, but her grip was surprisingly strong.

"No, don't, my darling boy," she whispered, the blood rising from her wound curdling in her throat. She took his cheeks within her hands affectionately. She looked at him with such adoration, such unconditional love, that he felt like running the blade through himself just to join her. "Remember what I said. Never forget."

He cried as young boys should when seeing their mother's death. Only this was the last time he would ever cry again.

'The last time,' he thought defiantly, as he felt his father's comforting hand over his shoulder as he watched his mother expel her last harsh breaths.

"My son, I do apologize for this," he said soothingly. "You must be strong, and soon, I will find you a new mother. Women are aplenty in this world; don't you forget that."

Shivering, Sesshoumaru let his father's words slide off him like hot sweat. He slapped his father's hand away and scoffed. "Don't be so sentimental, Father," he said harshly, and he proceeded to leave the room of his mother's last moments. His stoic walk out of the room soon turned into a swift jog and then a furious run as he escaped into the palace courtyard screaming his anger to the wind.

And as he ran, he wanted to feel free just as his mother always wanted. He wanted to feel free as she was now.

And when he stopped miles from the palace, he clutched his cheeks as her touch burned its memory there. With the feeling of her touch and the echoing mantra of her lessons, he would always remember his mother and abide by what she had told him.

Never fall in love, my darling boy, especially not with a human. Her words were carried by the chilled wind and fluttered softly through his ears.

His memories evaporated from the foreground of his mind when he felt a body shifting next to him on the soft forest floor. He looked down at her, watching as her eyes opened as she awoke.

"Kagome," he whispered. She rewarded him with a small, sleepy smile and gave out a noisy yawn. He nudged her, yet with the usual silkiness apparent in his voice he said, "It's time for you to go."

And then her inevitable pout came, then a long sigh, and then she nodded in agreement. "I suppose you are right," she said, getting up and then embracing him around his waist. "I can stay a few more minutes, though. They won't expect me back unto late morning."

As much as he wanted to fall into that delicious trap, he thought it was unwise. "You know we can't," he said sternly, his voice like daggers over her ears.

"Alright, alright," she said in a huff, releasing her hold on him and then getting up to dress. But he didn't want her to get dressed just yet; his morning excitement needed to be expelled.

Then he would let her leave.

She squeaked as he pulled her down into his lap. He buried his face into the crook of her neck as she fell against him. He growled, "Not yet, but we make this quick." He felt her nod against him. He could already smell her fear mixed with her arousal.

'Excellent,' he inwardly purred. His unpredictability always stirred enticing emotions from Kagome, mainly his favorite, fear.

Meekly, she began running her hands over his smooth chest, warming it from the night's cool air. He bent his head down, grabbing her mouth fiercely with a violent heady kiss. She moaned pleadingly in his mouth. With a swift, flexible movement of limbs, he managed to shift her body over him, quickly impaling her onto his morning hardness. She screamed at the violation, but then her body relaxed to the motion of his pumping hips.

He pulled at her hair and continued to attack her mouth viciously, bruising her inner walls and chasing her fearful tongue. She felt pleasingly constricted, feeling her breath struggle through her nose as her moans were blockaded from entry through her lips. His rapid, burning strokes into her feminine heat caused her to quickly moisten, and then she was coming before she could prepare for it.

She jerked her head free of his kiss and screamed, her body still pulsing with his. He grunted not too long after her howls as he spilled his warmth within her. She felt his hot breath blanket over her shoulder as he rested his head against her. She swallowed, licking her lips trying to produce the moisture she lost in her mouth. She sighed contently, and her body relaxed, full now of its normal addiction.

And Sesshoumaru was her addiction, as she was his. However, their satisfaction would hardly last a day or so before they craved each other again.

"I suppose I should go clean up and then meet up with the others," she said in erratic breaths, trying to regain her composure. When he separated from her, she mimicked his movements and got dressed. He nodded in affirmation to her.

"Remember to use the substance I gave you," he said sternly, as if he was a father chiding a child.

"I know," she said mechanically, remembering all too well the vial of enchanted oil he gave her to rid her of all his demon scent. This way, neither Inu-Yasha nor any other demon they knew could smell him on her and their subterfuge could go on as long as they wanted. That is, if they never got caught in the act.

When they were fully dressed, she was about ready to quickly hop over to the nearest lake to wash off. Sometimes they rarely said parting words to each other. Their meetings were so frequent and explosive that they hardly could depend on words to signify the moment. Yet this time, the memories of his mother stirred a small feeling of loneliness within him, and he held her back by her arm for one minute more.

She paused, turning around slowly to look at him and inquire his behavior.

"Sesshoumaru?" On his emotionless mask she saw a flicker of something aching within his golden eyes. She turned fully to him and brought her hands up to his face. She looked deeply into his eyes, searching for that stir of feeling again.

He relished the warmth she created on his cheeks as she cupped them. He brought his hands over hers and squeezed. She saw him close his eyes. She smiled at his reaction, so meaningful to her even with unspoken words.

"I'll be going. Until next time," she said, releasing him. He turned away from her, leaving without watching her go.

His face was losing restraint to the emotions that wanted to burst to the surface, the emotions he had hidden away so long ago after his mother's suicide.

But he had to abide her, and he always would. There was no way he would fall in love with a human. He would not be like his parents.

He would not.

TBC...


	6. Drowning in Seduction

"It lies deep inside

You can not hide

It's the meanest fire

Oh, it's a strange desire

You can not lie

That's a needless fight

This is where you sanity gives in

And love begins."

"Paralyzed" by The Cardigans

By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Six: Drowning in Seduction

Inuyasha watched Kagome carefully as she came back from the river where she had just bathed. He became concerned as she was clutched herself, shivering from the residual chill of the river. He frowned, realizing that Kagome took a lot of baths recently, especially since she had confessed about her involvement with Sesshoumaru. He had asked her why she took so many, and after being asked that, she got this dazed look in her eyes, overflowing with guilt.

"Because I feel dirty," she said simply, making light of it and then joining the rest of the group. She masked her pain behind forced felicity, and Inuyasha knew she didn't mean just regular dirt, but dirtiness of the soul as well.

It had been three months and apparently, she was still beating herself up over what had happened with his brother. She was even more distant from him than ever before, and he noticed that she was drifting further and further apart from him. He didn't feel as close to her anymore, and it was as if she wanted it this way.

He tried many times to hold her. He would sneak up on her, grasping her from behind in quiet moments when the others were away. He tried less and less to yell at her, and he tried to be more concerned about her.

But every time he tried to hold her she looked as though she was going to cry and never stop.

He felt empathy for her, and he was scratching at his brain trying to figure out how he could help her - how he could heal her. He wanted to be close to her. He wanted things to be as they were before this mess.

Sango and Miroku seemed to forgive her quickly. They understood, even with their own flaws and internal demons, that holding grudges against their friend was just plain silly. If anything, they felt as though Kagome was more human now. Shippo stopped shying away from her too. He noticed that she was often disturbed, and Kagome would often clutch him close to her, desperate for his warmth and comfort.

Inuyasha only wished it was he that she would reach out to.

The fight with Naraku didn't seem to affect Kagome's moods. She treated it like a job and drew most of her focus from it. Inuyasha had noticed this, and he gathered that she wanted to concentrate more fully on this mission, detaching herself from progressing their relationship.

Their relationship had been so fruitful in the beginning, and now, since they had dealt with Sesshoumaru, it was less energetic. If anything, it was more like they were just good friends. This angered Inuyasha inwardly, but he tried to give Kagome her space and respect her wishes.

Fighting Naraku and Moryomaru was taxing enough on their time and energy, and they didn't have time to really delve into their relationship anyway.

However, Inuyasha vowed that one of these days when they were more relaxed, he would confront her. There was a point in time where he would give up on letting her have her space and try moving things along between them.

He was frustrated, mainly because his sword kept upgrading but didn't seem to be defeating his enemies. He was even more frustrated when Kagome's affections to him were less and less romantic and more like friendly concern.

'She treats me just like she would Miroku or Sango,' he inwardly huffed as he watched her at the campfire. Miroku had bruised his arm, and she was wrapping his wounds tenderly. Sango was watching Miroku closely for idle hands, and Kagome didn't care one way or another to Miroku's behavior. He was her friend for a long time, and she had already accepted him.

And that was the same way that Kagome treated him. Somewhere down the road, Kagome's regard for him changed, and now he was worried that they would grow further and further apart.

A scene flashed through his mind of an ending battle with Kagome leaving through the well, never to return to him.

Would she leave him behind once this was over?

"I'll stay by your side, Inuyasha."

He knew that times were changing, but did she mean her promise anymore? He was inwardly frightened. She had told him that one night that she would just go back home and leave him to Kikyou, and even though he said that he didn't plan on being with Kikyou anymore, she never really said whether or not she had changed her mind about that.

'How does she feel about me?' He pursed his lips as he stared down at her from a tree branch. Soon it would be bedtime, and he noticed that everyone in the group was getting sleepy and ready to settle down for the night.

Inuyasha stayed in the tree to think. And he seemed to be always thinking, mostly about Kagome.

Though one thing tugged at his soul, and he didn't know why. Had Sesshoumaru ever felt anything for her? It worried him that there possibly could have been something more between them than just the deal. He even thought it was strange that Kagome herself was convinced Sesshoumaru felt something.

He scoffed. He never thought his brother could have such feelings, but he had seen the look in his eyes when he was with her. There was something indefinable there, but something that undoubtedly concerned him.

Impossible! There was no way his brother could feel anything for Kagome, a human! He tried very hard to discredit the doubt in his gut, but it always seemed to recycle over and over in his daily thoughts.

"I'm going to go take a bath, you guys," Kagome announced, and Inuyasha's ears twitched. She had taken a bath just this morning, and now this was becoming a daily thing with her. It was actually starting to annoy him.

He watched as Kagome descended into the heart of the forest to a nearby hot spring. On a quick impulse, he waited until she was gone from his sight, and he bounded down from the trees. Miroku and Sango were already settled into their bedding, and Inuyasha heard Shippo's sleepy snore. Kirara mewled as she realized Inuyasha was awake and moving around.

He put a finger over his lips to quiet her, and he stalked off from camp in Kagome's direction.

When he came to the clearing where Kagome was bathing, he stopped and watched as he heard her humming and saw her splashing water over herself. The light from the fireflies and the half moon illuminated her porcelain skin in his view. He inhaled his breath at the sight.

His eyes widened, and he couldn't help it anymore. He began tugging off his robes, feeling heat consume his entire body.

It was now or never. He had to see if she still loved him. He had to find out if she still thought he was more than a friend.

He had to know if she would still stay with him forever.

~*~

She heard the water shift and splash behind her. She turned around, tensing her muscles. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was.

It was not the person she expected.

"Inuyasha!" Color rose to her cheeks as she looked at him. He was nude and standing before her, watching her with serious eyes. She was terrified to look further down on his body, and she inched away as he waded closer to her.

"Kagome..." Her name was like fine satin over his lips, and she almost swooned.

She swallowed a lump in her throat and felt anxiety tighten in her stomach. Why was he here? This was not a good situation.

"Wha - What are you doing here? Get away!" she cried desperately, feeling cornered against a rock. She could go no farther and he was still closing in on her.

"Kagome listen to me," he said. She looked even more terrified. Was she really that scared of him?

"Kagome, do you hate me?" he asked bluntly. If he was going to ask her, he might as well come out and do it.

Her stiff shoulders slacked, and he heard her sigh. She looked away from him, but didn't seem that scared any more. She continued to cover herself from him.

"Of course I don't hate you, Inuyasha. But why are you here?" She seemed exasperated and not ready to handle her rising emotions. "What did you think you could get from me by coming here like this?"

She heard the water rustle as he stomped over to her, taking her by the shoulders. She was forced to look into his fierce eyes.

He snarled at her. "I came here because I wanted to know if you still care about me! All you do is mope around and cry how you're dirty, and when we're together, you shun me! I told you I wanted to be with you and not Kikyou, and yet here you are, avoiding me and stomping on my feelings like they don't even matter!"

Kagome winced at his tone and the sharpness of his words. He was right. She had been avoiding him and his feelings, and she could tell he took her recent actions very painfully. She didn't know how to fix things. She was still very confused. She felt she still loved him, but she also felt like she was falling in love with Sesshoumaru as well.

"I do love you. I'm just not ready yet," she choked out. He saw tears form at the sides of her eyes. "I promise I'll come around, just not now. I don't feel comfortable yet. I -"

"Do you love him?" he lashed at her, and she felt sharpness as he squeezed his claws into her arms. His eyes were raging with jealousy and hurt. "Are you pretending to love me when you actually love him? Don't lie to me, Kagome."

"Please, Inuyasha, let go. You're hurting me," she cried softly, struggling weakly to get free of him. He continued to hold her strongly.

"I don't want to lose you, Kagome. Not to him," he said painfully, loosening his grip and crushing her body against his in a desperate embrace. He ran his fingers through her wet hair.

Kagome relaxed and sniffled as he held her. She held him in return, not caring that their wet naked bodies were flush against each other. He started to rub his hands down her bare arms and then down her back, caressing the groove at her tail bone. He broke away slightly to look into her eyes. He reached up a finger and wiped away her tears trailing down her cheek.

"Stay with me, Kagome," he said huskily, but his eyes were more intense than ever. He felt his blood heat up, and he wished to dominate her and take her, here and now in the haven of this forest.

Her eyes widened as his face leaned in closer to her. She felt a cold chill rising from her stomach, and her shoulders tensed as he touched her tenderly. A long time ago, she had dreamt of this moment, but now so much had changed.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered in a cry half full of desperation and half of want. He dipped down and kissed her, sealing her voice. He pushed his tongue past her lips and pushed into her, swirling around his tongue in her mouth with dominance.

She moaned, and suddenly she felt dizzy, weak to submit to Inuaysha's touch. She felt something hard rub against her in the water, and she felt a trickle of arousal burst within her core.

She opened her eyes slightly, only to see silver hair in her view. Her mind felt numb momentarily, and she inwardly called out his name.

'Sesshoumaru...'

She stiffened when she realized what she had done, whose name that was laced over her brain. She broke from Inuyasha's kiss and removed his hands from over her breasts.

"Stop!" she ordered, and backed away from his embrace. "Um...that's enough, Inuyasha."

She looked over at him and turned away quickly. He looked dejected, but she couldn't think of anything else to do to make him feel better. She felt shamed to know that she had thought of someone else when she felt that she was supposed to be with Inuyasha.

If she wasn't confused before, she was now, more than ever.

They stood there in the silence, only hearing the mild running of the cool river over their skin.

"Um... truthfully, Inuyasha, I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so confused," she whimpered, but at least it was the truth.

He turned away from her, careful not to look into her face. He clenched his fists and scrunched his brow in anger.

"I just need time," she finally added.

"You always say that," he said in a dejected voice. "I'll wait for you, and I won't lose you to him."

Kagome looked up at him, shocked. He seemed to be convinced that she had residual feelings for his brother, that there was something odd and mysterious there. His intuition wasn't far from the truth.

"I'll go now," he finally said, sighing in a small voice. She looked away and heard the water move audibly as he shifted through it to the bank. She sighed when she looked up to see him gone, disappearing deep into the forest back to camp.

Tears fell down her face, and she winced as pain shot through her heart like gaping bullet holes. She felt like sitting down and submerging herself into the water never to resurface.

She silenced her sobs as she choked on water, and when she felt the burn of water over her lungs, she coughed uncontrollably producing another fit of sobs.

She closed her eyes and tried to erase those recent moments from her mind. A year ago she would have just been in heaven if Inuyasha had come to her in the night to surprise her while she bathed.

But things were not like that now.

Her feelings were different, and she didn't know it, but she was trying really hard to prevent herself from choosing between them. She was trying so hard to live this fairytale like she was supposed to, to be with Inuyasha. She tried to deny the change, that things were no longer about fairytales.

She had made the decision to make a deal with Sesshoumaru long ago, and she had been prepared to live with the consequences.

She thought she could deal with the consequences, but she never guessed she would fall in love with him.

And admitting that was harder than admitting that her feelings were futile. She knew there was no future with the dog demon lord. She could not deny her feelings and just settle for Inuyasha. That wouldn't be fair. In the long run, it seemed her future happiness was doomed, and she just didn't know what to do.

~*~

When he found her, she was sitting on the riverbank staring into space, sniffling once in awhile and wiping at long dried tears.

He stalked over to her softly, and he sniffed. His face contorted in anger when he realized what scent was laced over this river mixing with hers.

"He came to you," he said softly, breaking her out her reverie. She looked up at him, wide-eyed and exhausted from her crying and anxiety. She nodded to his statement, and then she heard him growl.

Before she could blink, he was holding her in his arms, trying to get close to her and rub the smell off her. He clutched her upper arms and she winced. He looked down to see faint bruises on her flesh.

"Did he try to use force?" he hissed at her. She looked down and shook her head. She then fell into his chest like a limp doll.

"Kagome," he said in a soft voice, and she closed her eyes at the tranquil sound it made in her ears. "You need to tell me what happened."

"He came, and he went," she said simply. He was irritated with her vague answers.

She felt him trace a clawed finger over her lips. He looked straight into her eyes and said, "He touched you. He touched your lips." He saw tears brimming in her eyes.

He then slammed her against a rock, and she cried in pain as the jagged grooves of the surface scraped against her back. Her mouth trembled from fear and sadness.

"He touched what is mine."

"Please, Sesshoumaru. We didn't do anything. I stopped him before he could -"

His eyes were brilliant red now, swirling with possessive fury. He clamped his hands on her shoulders with dominance, and then turned and licked her lips and trailed a patch of saliva over her jaw.

"If he dares touch you again, I swear Kagome, I will kill him." He was trying to hold back his madness as his blood simmered violently at the idea that someone had touched what was his. Someone - his brother, had almost violated his woman. He had almost taken what he possessed. Wasn't it enough that he had their father's precious sword?

Then, Sesshoumaru settled his fury, reminding himself that he did not love Kagome, and he knew that his brother loved her. It was not uncommon for his brother to approach her, but deep down within him, he felt it was wrong.

"He stopped," Kagome swallowed, terrified at the war that was raging within Sesshoumaru before her. "He stopped because he thinks I love you."

Sesshoumaru froze and did not look at her right away.

He felt his blood was turning to ice. He didn't say anything to that, mainly because this topic had been trying to filter itself into his mind while he would rather avoid it. He was neither prepared to deal with an admission of his affections nor one of hers either.

"Does he know?" He could help to admit that he was a little worried. If his brother knew that Kagome and he were meeting again, they may excommunicate her. She would go home, and he would perhaps never see her.

More than that, he actually felt with even her small amount of power, she was important to the mission against Naraku. He'd be forced to take her with him, and Kagome would be a liability, and his enemies would just love to use her against him, especially since she was human. Kagome would be devastated again and shunned by her friends. He was almost afraid she'd hurt herself, or worse, leave him and never come back.

"No," she finally said. "He thinks I avoid him because I have feelings for you from the first time. He thinks I don't want him."

He moved closer to her, rubbing his naked body against hers and nuzzling against her nose. His voice rang silkily. "Do you?"

Kagome closed her eyes and felt her blood heating. She felt warmth as Sesshoumaru leaned and blanketed her with his hot breath. She felt him nip at her neck. She inhaled a chunk of breath as she lifted her hands and started rubbing them over his arms and back.

"I - I'm not sure anymore. I feel I have to want him. I feel I should love him," she whispered, her voice choking back tears. "But..."

"But?" he asked, licking her ear and tracing his tongue over the shell of it. She whimpered when he took hold of it in his mouth and tugged playfully at it. She felt his hands roam over her breasts, squeezing them and tracing circles over the nipples. She melted against him, her hands running frantically through his silver tendrils of hair.

"When he kissed me, I opened my eyes to see silver hair, and all I could think of was saying your name," she cried, trying to be ashamed but not succeeding.

It was what he wanted to hear though, and he smirked against her skin. She was undoubtedly his.

He moved a finger between her legs and put it inside her. She sighed as he stroked her, in and out, rubbing against the bundle of nerves that keyed her pleasure.

He pushed against her rigidly, and she knew he would take her tonight with more force than before because of what had happened with Inuyasha. Neither one of them said 'I love you' but they knew they needed each other. They needed to see each other's faces, touch skin and blanket each other with their own scent.

He reached down and opened her legs, leaning her back against the rock and guiding himself flush inside her. She moaned, and he rocked with the water as he built up his speed and rhythm within her.

She was addicted to him, to his flawless skin, to his shape, his smooth silky hair, and his unearthly eyes. And when he stole away the evenings to be with her, she had to catch her breath and keep her hands from pinching herself so she would wake from this dream. When she held him in her lap or he held her in his arms, time disappeared.

She would stroke her fragile human fingers over the violet markings on his body, and he would lay contently with her, closing his eyes and wrapping her into a hot molding embrace. When he held her like that, there were no such things as wells and scary monsters. There were no such things as missions and pink jewels of strife.

He was here, and she wanted to think he was hers.

And she thought of him that way as he pounded into her, feeling her ecstasy and love rise up and fizz at the top, ready to shoot forth in a cataclysmic burst of ardor.

She felt the whole of him, filled within her and pushing past muscles shaping to his will. She moaned and panted as she felt him slide against her nerves, electrifying her pores beyond their limits. The water of the lake between them was warm, bubbling around them and encasing them in their own matrix of heat.

"Sesshoumaru..." She could say it as much as she could feel it.

He grunted, loving the way she fit around him, spiraling around his form like hot metal. He watched her fascination as her face read every throb with elation and joy, pain and anxiety, and most of all ... love.

"Never fall in love with a human, my son." He heard his mother's words echo in his mind.

Kagome cried out, her face flushed and contorted with fulfillment. He looked at her, still pounding into her and letting his muscles drive automatically. She shivered over him, her body full of residual spasms as she slowly bobbed over him. He watched with amazement as she met his eyes straight on and gave him a serene and content smile as his reward.

And when he saw her smile like that while wrapped around him, nothing else mattered. Not power or vengeance, and now, not even the ancient words of his long dead mother could stop his feelings.

'I'm sorry, mother,' he said inwardly, and his body shook in a quick harsh spasm, and he exhaled, filling Kagome with himself physically, and for the first time, emotionally.

Kagome looked at him curiously, as if she saw something different swirl in his eyes. He looked at her clearly and tenderly, the red anger and stoic placidity gone.

He appeared raw and bare, and not just physically, but in other ways she had never seen.

"Sesshoumaru?" she questioned, and he wrapped her into his arms quickly and snugly. She dutifully embraced him back. He panted from exertion in her ear and continued to clutch her as if he never wanted to let her go.

He hated to admit it. He hated how things had turned out against his will, but this woman was important to him. He felt something for her, something he never felt for any other female before in his life.

She was the only woman that could prompt him to silence the voice of his mother in his mind. She was the only woman that changed everything he felt about humans. He felt strange now that his feelings were loose inside him and no longer suppressed.

He didn't know what to say to her. He only knew that he wanted to hold her. Her mutual touch was the only indication to him that she was falling in love with him too.

~*~

Deep within the shadows of the bushes of their peaceful scene, the leaves rustled faintly. Something was watching them with great interest, and it was so small and elusive that Sesshoumaru's exhausted senses didn't even detect it.

For many minutes it watched them silently as they held each other and stole the evening of a beautiful moment. Their viewer was undoubtedly sure that the couple was sharing something special, but in the long run secretive.

The tiny voyeur shook its head, and quietly took off near the heart of the forest, leaving the midnight lovers behind.

TBC...


	7. Sesshoumaru's Curse

"And if I'm wasting my time

then nothing could be better

then hanging on that line

and waiting for an honest word forever."

"Wasting My Time" by the White Stripes

Chapter Seven: Sesshoumaru's Curse

The air was saturated with the scent of sweat and sex. Kagome twirled her fingers around Sesshoumaru's silver locks blanketing her as she leaned against his chest. She sighed, her thoughts stuck in time as she thought of all the secret meetings she'd had with Sesshoumaru since she'd gained back all of her friends' trust.

It had been at least five months since then, and Sesshoumaru was content enough to keep it as it was.

Kagome inwardly frowned, feeling a surge of anxiety in her nerves as she thought of Inuyasha. He had given her the cold shoulder since she had refused him in the cool stream that one particular night - and consequently, distanced himself from her just as she had wanted. It didn't mean she felt any better about it. She hated the fact that she was hurting him, and it was obvious he was waiting for her. He was waiting when she told him she needed time.

Kagome hated to think he'd wait for her forever, but she knew he would. The true bitterness of all of this was that she was probably not going to chose him - she couldn't when it was obvious she had fallen for Sesshoumaru.

She just didn't know how to tell Inuyasha. She felt she wasn't that brave after all.

And if by some small chance that Sesshoumaru was in love with her too, she felt it'd be much easier to come out into the open about their relationship; however, this was not the case.

Sure, Sesshoumaru was quite possessive of her - protective even - but he never said in words or inferred that he loved her.

Kagome wondered if he was capable of it.

"What has captured your thoughts, Kagome?" His voice was a smooth stroke against her ears.

She brought herself out of a daze and met his eyes, giving him a curious look. She knew it wasn't the right time to bring up 'love' to Sesshoumaru - it never was. She wanted him to do it on his own. To demand it might make things worse and unattractive, and she certainly didn't want to seem like the whiny, clinging girl she was when she first started traveling with Inuyasha. She needed to act like a woman about this.

So she told him something else was bothering her. "I was wondering ..." She paused and traced the stripe over his cheek. "I find it odd...no, impossible that any male on this earth can experience monthly heat."

There. She had said it. The crazy nature of Sesshoumaru's condition since they initially met had boggled her brain that she couldn't shake it - even though she had been too afraid in the beginning to approach him about it.

Sesshoumaru pursed his lips and let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course it's not natural. If you must know..." He looked into her hungry eyes and began to feel inadequate. If anyone else had asked him such a question he would have throttled them, but Kagome was different. She was involved, and he began to think she should know - even if the ramifications of this curse were too unpleasant to be publicly known - especially for someone like him. "I was cursed with it. I made an enemy with a foe whose power I had underestimated." He sighed again as Kagome seemed intrigued as well as shocked. He thought she must be shocked that he'd underestimate anyone. Then he finally said, "The person who cursed me was a witch."

"A witch? Like the one that resurrected Kikyou?" she asked aloud, but she didn't quite know if Sesshoumaru knew the story behind that. She shook her head when he looked at her in puzzlement and then said, "The person who resurrected Kikyou used magic to mold clay for her body and a vat of potions to steal my soul."

Sesshoumaru nodded in understanding, but the fire in his eyes suggested that he was not happy to know this about her - and the look indicated he wanted to find the very witch and destroy her. Kagome smirked at his reaction. "Anyway, she's dead now. Tell me about the witch that cursed you." She gave him a warm smile and said soothingly, "I want to know."

So, he told her everything.

\----

During the time Naraku had escaped and there were little to no leads on him, Sesshoumaru and his traveling companions still continued to search for any sign. However, the lack of information made it harder to completely be vigilant about the mission, and he had to admit there was a lot of down time from the search.

On many days, there was a lot of relaxation. Jaken took care of Rin while Sesshoumaru searched the countryside, musing to himself and appearing to look for clues. There were many times he had left them alone no more than an afternoon, and then he was back.

In all honesty, without trace of Naraku, there was nothing else they really could do. Sesshoumaru was so bored - so subjected to idleness - that he had often thought of finding his brother and picking fights with him, just to keep them both on their toes.

His aversion to his brother's loud, vulgar mouth and the reminder of his heritage prevented Sesshoumaru from carrying out that plan into its entirety.

So there was nothing for him to do other than rest and sometimes train himself to keep his senses and abilities sharp. When he did this, he didn't want to be around anyone; therefore leaving Rin and Jaken by themselves again.

And in one eerie day that he had decided to leave to train, Jaken had failed to protect Rin from an unforeseen foe. This unexpected new enemy swooped down from her mountain and cast a spell on the children within the area - trying to gather them up to collect their innocent blood for her potions.

Rin just happened to be one of her many young victims.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken squealed, running and tripping through the forest as he came to get his lord. He was badly beaten, mostly unable to do the running he was doing, but the poor toad was so terrified that he ran on pure adrenaline. Sesshoumaru's two headed dragon limped behind him, burnt terribly from mystical wounds.

When Jaken had found him training in the forest, he took a moment to catch his breath and prostrate himself in front of him. "My lord, the human girl has been kidnapped!"

And in a flash of lightning Sesshoumaru was off, searching the air for suspicious scents mixed with Rin's and then following the trail. By his instincts, this suspicious scent was more than it seemed, and Sesshoumaru had an odd feeling that he may know this witch. Haughtily, he did not think himself so weak that he would be taken over by some old devilish crone, but he hardly had any idea that the old crone knew of him - and she knew that Rin was his.

He could hear her cackling as children screamed from inside her lair. Residing within a secluded cave on the mountainside, Sesshoumaru found her dwelling behind a considerable amount of mystical barriers and secluded beneath an ominous bramble of bushes and trees.

The magical barriers seemed weak, so he didn't think it was necessary to prepare himself too much against her, and he had surmised that she must have been a rather weak opponent. Thusly, he would just grab Rin; snap the bitch's neck and go.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Ohohohoho, look children, we have a guest," the old witch cackled, and his senses went on alert as she confidently stalked out of her cave. Mindless drones of children followed behind her with Rin by her side.

"Ah, it's the mighty Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands," she said, giving him a malicious look. "I know you, I do, but I gather you don't know of me."

"Old woman, return my ward at once and I may spare your life," he spat, and he was so angry at this woman for being so cheeky with him that his hand began to jerk to lunge at her and clear her head right off.

"I cannot. Her blood is special," she reached her wrinkly boney hand over to Rin and patted her on the head. Rin was caught under a numbing spell and could not react. Sesshoumaru growled at the old woman's violation. "You see, this poor child should be dead, but she was clearly revived by mystical means." The old witch turned to him, her wrinkles setting deeper in her skin as she grinned. She looked to Sesshoumaru and then glanced at the sword at his hilt. "Yes, indeed, she is special. Her blood carries the energy of the underworld."

Sesshoumaru said nothing. It was obvious the woman had some magical abilities to detect Rin's tie to his father's otherworldly sword. He assumed her speech would go into a tirade of games, and he was not so foolish to mind them. He let her continue to talk until he found the perfect opportunity to strike. But for now, he wanted to know how this old crone knew him.

"Old witch, how do you know this Sesshoumaru?" he inquired, pointing a ready sword at him. Toukijin surged with the anticipation of spilled blood and he subdued it, saving its energy for that one perfect time.

"I know of your father, the fool," she spat, her confident expression turning to a sour frown. "That bastard father of yours cursed me and ruined my life! I will never forgive him, and I will never forgive his family!"

Well, upon hearing that, Sesshoumaru was sure she was sick in the head. He never knew of his father cursing anyone - especially in such a petty way. "You speak lies. My father would not bother with such a thing - he would not bother with you."

And in return, the old witch glared at him and seemed thoroughly offended, and Sesshoumaru could sense her power surging at her finger tips. He readied his stance.

"You do not really know your father, boy!" she lashed at him, pointing a knobby finger. Her eyes seemed old and pained, hardening from revenge and tearing from a lost past. She let the tears drip down her cheeks. "You do not know ... I ...." She became so emotional it was hard for her speak. Clearly, she had spent most of her lifetime caging her rage and regret, and now she was letting it burst from within her. "I ... loved your father, but he chose my sister over me! My darling sister ..." Her nose wrinkled in distaste as she became lost in her own unsettling memories. "My sister, the princess Izayoi, to save her kingdom she gave herself to a demon - to save her family she bargained herself in place of her sister who loved him - covering up the scandal by presenting herself to the demon instead." She paused, and bitterness was sharp on the tip of her tongue. "Instead she ended up loving him in the end. Then, she took him away from me!"

At this point, Sesshoumaru was bored and did not care for her story. His father was a fool in the way of humans, this was true. However, because of his handsome features and power, human women were more the fools than he, and Sesshoumaru was tired of hearing the tales of humans falling for his father - and this old lady's story was no different.

He was intrigued that standing before him was Izayoi's sister, tainted over the years by the use of dark magic, and no doubt sustaining her life by a contract with some mediocre youkai. And although she claimed to be Izayoi's sister, he cared nothing for Izayoi and therefore in turn, cared nothing for her.

The only thing amusing about this situation was that Inuyasha's aunt was still alive, and he wondered if they should get together for a dysfunctional family reunion. He scoffed - boredom without trace of Naraku really was making him go stir crazy.

"I tire of this," he finally said as the old woman finished her story and continued to glare at him. He lunged for her, trying to keep mind of Rin in order not to harm her. The old witch saw him lunge and pushed Rin to the ground far from her side. She, too, wanted to keep Rin out of harms way - only because she valued Rin's blood for her own selfish means.

She held a black worn staff made of beeswax and rusted metal, and she concentrated her power to surge into the coil. Sesshoumaru felt her power spike and then channel into her rod as she pointed it at him. He dodged an energy blast, and he heard her chanting spells as she fired each blast at him.

He deducted that the staff was a conduit to her power, that she could only conduct her spells through it audibly. In his defense, his interest would be to silence her and rid her of that staff. It wasn't going to be easy though, and as old as she was, the constant fire of blasts were bothersome to keep dodging as he tried to get closer to her.

Finally, he sheathed his sword and used his poison whip, finding an opening as she fired; he took her eyes and mouth out with the tip. She screamed in pain and dropped her staff, clutching her face as poison seeped into her skin. And just before the staff hit the ground, Sesshoumaru grabbed Toukijin in one swift motion and cut the staff in half - the onslaught of Toukijin's aura deteriorating it into dust in the wind.

Since the old witch was still a human despite her magic, she did not have the demon's ability to heal. Sesshoumaru's poison was strong, and it continuously melted through the layers of blood and tissue of her face. She shielded her face from him, but before she could, he saw an amused look on her face.

"You think you have defeated me?" the old woman cackled and Sesshoumaru thought she was completely mad. "You just wait, son of my enemy. My curse will find you soon enough." And before the woman could blather anymore, Sesshoumaru lifted up his sword and in one swift motion lopped off her head. The air was silent without the woman's cackle.

Children began waking out of their daze and looking around their surroundings in puzzlement. All of the children seemed to be safe - all but Rin.

Sesshoumaru picked her up off the ground and held the girl in her arms. She still seemed to be under the witch's spell, and he found this odd since he had indeed destroyed the foe.

How could she still be in a spell when all the other children were coming out of it?

Then, Sesshoumaru realized that the witch must have done something else to her, for she did consider Rin special. It irritated him that he now had to find some way to snap her out of this, and he had no idea where to start.

As he was pondering ways to help Rin, Sesshoumaru noticed movement as she began to inch closer to him. With that slight bit of movement, Sesshoumaru became curious to her behavior and hoped that maybe she could eventually come out of the spell on her own.

"Rin?" he asked, and his eyes widened as the girl, still in a trance, inched closer to his face and then kissed his lips. Startled, he pushed her lightly away and looked up at her face. Rin's face contorted into a sour malicious grin.

She began cackling, channeling the spirit of the witch. Sesshoumaru stared at her, horrified and angered. Rin spoke in an echoing voice that belonged to the witch. "I told you that my curse would come. Now that your lovely child has given you the curse through her kiss, you are now doomed to never have a child - your bloodline ends here, Lord Sesshoumaru. And you will feel the pain every month for a woman - any woman - and you will never be free. The 'beast' will control you - and no matter how much you are satisfied you will always be alone. Your family will die. This is my curse."

The old woman laughed and then Rin slumped forward into a sound sleep as the spirit of the crone floated away into the afterlife. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth to what she meant, but his life from that point on was terribly uneasy and would never be the same.

\----

"So, the next month the curse began. No matter how many times it happens, I will never be fulfilled - my family line can never be extended."

"That's awful!" Kagome replied, taking his hands into hers. She gave him a determined look. "There must be a way to reverse the spell!"

Sesshoumaru sighed and leaned against the tree looking away from her. "It does not matter." He turned to her and his face still remained so placid, so uncaring. Kagome couldn't believe that he was fine with this, and she was sure he was masking his emotions. "I never wanted to settle down with anyone anyway."

Now, Kagome knew that couldn't be true! Sesshoumaru was so proud of his family, and he would surely want to continue the family blood - wouldn't he?

"But..."she stuttered, and she wanted to say something to console him, even when he appeared to be unbothered by the events. "Maybe...your family line can still go on with Inuyasha if you cannot find a way to reverse this curse."

And as soon as she said his brother's name he had pushed her on her back to the ground. His face lit up with anger and he growled at her, jealousy teetering in his golden eyes. "And who will be the one to continue our family line with Inuyasha? Huh?" He leaned down and nipped on her ear. The motion made her heart jump and she swallowed with unease. Her rising fear tickled at Sesshoumaru's primal senses. He growled again, and then peered hard into her eyes saying, "Will it be you?"

Her answer would be the answer of all importance - it would be the breaking or settling point of his anger and nerves. She gave him a challenging glare and pursed her lips in defiance. "If I can't do it with you, it still certainly won't be with him."

He knelt close to her ear and whispered in a dangerous tone. "You lie."

"No!" she screamed, her voice scratching at his sensitive ears. She bucked into him, and her voice became husky and forceful. "You don't understand anything. I don't want a child."

He met her bucking pelvis with his own, and he delighted in the face she made as he rubbed against her. "But you did want a child...with him."

"No. I never thought -" He tugged on her hair and she winced. "You don't understand."

"And just what don't I understand? Hrmm?" Sesshoumaru became excited by her fortitude, but then his libido seemed to die when he looked into her forlorn face.

"You don't understand me. You don't understand how I feel, and I doubt that you could." She fell rigid against him and looked away. How could he understand? She was in love with him, and she was sure he was not in love with her.

If anything, his story proved that Sesshoumaru's attachment to her was driven by the curse. If not for the encounter with the old witch and her curse, Kagome wondered if they'd even be in this position at all. She might be in Inuyasha's arms instead - her friends might have never judged her and she may have never had to hurt anyone at all. Her lips curled and she had a bad taste in her mouth.

Sesshoumaru stared at her and knew the mood had been killed. He decided to remain on top of her, studying her face and the sudden coldness to him.

"You don't understand anything..."

What didn't he understand? Was this a human thing? Kagome was clearly not telling him everything that was bothering her - and he knew there was something wrong.

He then dipped his head down and rested in the nook of her collarbone and whispered against her skin, "Show me what I need to understand."

Then the tears came, and Kagome couldn't prevent herself from sniffling. She sighed and then finally said, "I don't know if you can ever understand." He moved and looked in her eyes. She cupped his cheeks in her soft hands, and he felt subdued again by her affectionate smile. "It's time for me to go. The others will worry," she added finally. "Don't worry about understanding, Sesshoumaru. I don't understand it myself sometimes."

'I'll love you all on my own, it seems,' she thought to herself before leaving him. She just didn't have the courage to confess something like that to him. She still didn't think he was capable of understanding - of knowing what it's like to experience human love.

\----

As Kagome sauntered back to the hot spring, she tried to concentrate on preparing herself to be free from Sesshoumaru's smell- upon returning to Inuyasha and the others. It had become a routine now.

She yawned and felt emotionally tired, and she ignored the ominous sounds of the forest as she headed away from Sesshoumaru on her own. Not too far away, her friends were sleeping and waiting for her to return from her bath of the day and she thought she might have taken too long this time. Shrugging, she shed her clothes quickly at the bed of the river and jumped in. She grabbed the special soap Sesshoumaru gave her to rid his scent off her skin, and she rubbed herself quickly clean to jump out of the stream again.

As she began drying herself off and putting back on her clothes, she became lost in thought and did not even sense the youkai energy coming near her.

Finally, she felt a prick on her neck and slapped off a familiar flea.

"Myouga, what are you doing here?" she said in exasperation. The little flea demon settled on her palm and looked up at her with a grave expression.

She noticed this and became concerned. "What is it?"

"Kagome-sama, I know about your secret." Kagome tensed at his words and turned her gaze to the direction where Sesshoumaru was. Her expression was that of horror.

"You mean..."

Myouga interrupted her and shook his head. "You can't keep doing this. I wanted to warn you because I've known for a couple of months now. You can't do this to either of them."

She became angry and suddenly her emotional defenses soared. She did not want to be lectured now of all times. "Don't you think I know that?" she lashed at him, and Myouga scuttled a couple of paces away to shield himself from her wrath. However, although it looked like she was going to get mad, she just slumped down at the side of the river bank in defeat with her head in her hands. She began to cry.

"I'm sorry, Myouga, I ...I just don't know what to do..."

Myouga looked at her piteously and tried to imagine what she was going through. The poor girl was caught between the two brothers and stuck there, without any proper and safe way to get out.

"I love them both," she said finally.

"But you can't..."

"I know," she said soundly, wiping away her tears. She stood up and looked ahead to the direction of Inuyasha and the others. "I know that soon I'll have to tell him - I'll have to choose."

But Kagome knew that such a choice was not going to be easy to make.

TBC...


	8. A Threat from Dirt and Bone

Thank you to Risa for the beta job.

\----

By the River of Shadowed Moments

"This endless mercy mile

We're crawling side by side

With hell freezing over in our eyes

Gods kneel before our crime"

"Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly" by H.I.M.

Chapter Eight - A Threat from Dirt and Bone

Naraku did not like this endless waiting and hiding from the threats at hand. Inuyasha's group had grown powerful, even more powerful with Kagome's increasing miko powers and Inuyasha's swords. Naraku thought it may have ended the moment he got rid of Kikyou, but now - he wasn't so sure. Instead, with all of this uncertainty, he resorted to hiding again, until he came up with a plan to out-step his enemies further.

Suddenly, one of his patrol spies buzzed into his secret dwelling, anxious to give him some news. Within their connection of a creator and child, his spy told him of an important development.

Naraku rubbed his chin thoughtfully and smirked.

"Interesting," Naraku said aloud. Kanna and Byakuya stirred in the shadows with mutual attention. "I had no idea Lord Sesshoumaru had such enemies, but his plight is ever so intriguing anyway."

Byakuya stepped forward and said casually, "It's a pity the witch isn't still alive." He crossed his arms and smirked, his eyes filling with seductive thoughts of the dog prince. "That information on how we could 'cure' him could be quite useful. It could be a means to bring him to our side."

Naraku laughed croakily. "Fool, Lord Sesshoumaru would never come to our side, but you may have a point about using the 'cure' to this mystical ailment against him." Naraku's eyes narrowed and his lip curled in amusement. "Still, I don't believe the witch being dead is a problem we cannot rectify."

He turned around and looked at Byakuya and Kanna with a plan brewing in his expression. Kanna remained placid as Byakuya became more intrigued.

"Bringing back enemies from the dead has never been much of a stretch for me." Naraku chuckled and twirled a tendril of his dark hair.

"Are you referring to the time you brought those seven assassins to go against Inuyasha's group?" Byakuya pondered aloud, and then he had a contemplative look on his face. "I heard about that incident but didn't it end in abysmal failure?"

Naraku didn't seem fazed by Byakuya's goading, and in his sinister smile he was sure bringing back the old witch from Sesshoumaru's past would have its benefits. After all, he wouldn't bring her back to fight Sesshoumaru and his group. On the contrary, the witch would only play a part in his eternal schemes to break the vigor of his enemies and steal their fervor away to dominate them.

"This is different, Byakuya. Now..." He turned to his buzzing spies still awaiting his orders, and then they revealed more details of Sesshoumaru's former enemy. Finally, as they shared the last of their reconnaissance, he nodded and began to initiate the new plan.

"Byakuya, follow them to the presumed location of this witch's remains and carry out my orders." Naraku almost purred as this new development brought him out of his boredom and added new fire to his opposition. He couldn't wait until this resurrected foe came onto the scene again.

"And what must we do with this woman once we've brought her back?"

Naraku turned to him and said, "Have her obtain what's most precious to the demon lord - the one thing that both brothers hold dear."

Byakuya nodded - his lip curling in reaction to his master's. The beauty of Naraku's laughter had always been contagious.

\----

She had been at peace. She had been dead - and she certainly knew she had been and was quite comfortable with it. But then she felt something pull her spirit back from the afterworld into the living world again - and it unnerved her inside. Yet, a part of her was glad to be back.

'I have such unease,' she mused to herself sleepily, as she thought of her enemies. The scent of the earthly plane brought her regrets back to the forefront. She dreamed of revenge and simmered in it. She'd like to think that the gods were giving her a second chance to get justice, the kind she never earned.

When she heard dark laughter ring through her soul, she realized that she was not alone. Someone had brought her back, and she was annoyed when she sensed that this person was no god out to help her. Slowly, she opened her eyes to inquire of the identity of the one who resurrected her.

"Who..." her voice crackled as her corpse began to regenerate. Soon, the dust in her throat was replaced by fake flesh molded by magic. Her fingers twitched at the unbridled energy that resounded through her old bones. In a darkened grave beneath the earth, she saw the handsome face of a man, but she knew looks were deceiving as his red eyes glowed commandingly at her.

"Old witch; I am your savoir, your master of second chances. I am Naraku."

"Naraku?" She had never heard of this person before. What did this stranger want with her? Why did he rob her of her eternal sleep?

"We have a mutual enemy, one that I cannot handle without your partnership. Will you help me slay the dog demon Lord Sesshoumaru? Will you help me make him suffer?"

'Sesshoumaru...that cursed name...' The pristine lord's image assaulted her mind. It was the image of her killer, her betrayer, and the son of the man she once loved.

Her eyes narrowed and she looked into the face of Naraku, the man who had generously given her this second chance. Soon, as ideas of getting back at Sesshoumaru filled her thoughts, she neither cared to know the origin of this Naraku, nor did she speculate his intentions for her once the deal was done.

Eyes of hatred pierced through the unholy darkness. "Sesshoumaru, the bastard will pay..."

Her new partner laughed at her answer, and she couldn't help but laugh with him.

Yes, it was her time to get her revenge on the house of the silver dogs.

\---

Kagome clutched her knees as everyone gathered around the campfire. The atmosphere among the group tasted dry and felt choked.

It had been a horrible battle with an even more terrible result.

'Kikyou...' The pure miko, a beacon of strength to many and Inuyasha's first love, had met her bitter end to Naraku's desperate hands. Finally, even as he recombined with his severed heart, Naraku had been too tainted to let Kikyou affect him further. His webs had entangled her, poisoning her with his miasma and sucking away her strength. And even Kagome, who had a duty to release a pure arrow at the miko to purify her wounds, had hesitated even when she had done what she had been told.

But even Kagome's power had not been enough.

And Inuyasha took Kikyou's dying body away, and the miko was finally at peace. She felt like a woman, and Inuyasha had said farewell through his tear stained cheeks and soft, parting lips. In front of them all, Kikyou's life had ended, and she was not coming back. And the fight with Naraku continued as he escaped again, cowering away as their group gained the advantage to finally finish him once they geared up for the next opportunity.

So far they haven't had that opportunity again.

Instead, they put Kikyou to rest and headed onward to Naraku's retreating scent. Naraku didn't make it easy for their group, and they were constantly backtracking, finding dead ends and then finding trails that veered off course from where they had begun.

Tensions were high in the group because of this, and none of them had any time to think of romance - not even Sango and Miroku, who became more concerned for Kohaku's fate as becoming the next clue in possibly finishing off Naraku.

Kagome had not heard from Sesshoumaru in a while either, even longer than their usual monthly visits. She had been worried about him, especially given his situation with his mystical heat. However, she had heard from Myouga not too long afterward that he had gone off training and was even taking care of Kohaku.

"Oh, you need not worry about the slayer boy. I will go back to camp and tell the others that I have seen him joined up with Lord Sesshoumaru." Kagome nodded, realizing Myouga was trying to detach her from Sesshoumaru as much as possible. Myouga cleared his throat and then continued, "Lord Sesshoumaru has gone to the dog clan's castle in the sky to train with his remaining relative on how to unlock the secret of Tenseiga."

"Relative? I didn't know Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru had any family left," Kagome replied as they walked away from camp to talk. No one seemed to notice anything unusual as Kagome left, and she shot back a quick word that she was going off for her evening bath.

"Yes, this relative happens to be the late Lady Sorioko's brother, Sesshoumaru's uncle. He was entrusted with knowledge to show Sesshoumaru how to wield Tenseiga as a weapon rather than as a healing sword."

"Hrmm..." Kagome pondered. "I hope he's alright, and Rin and the others too. I can't imagine what he's like if he doesn't fulfill his monthly curse."

"Ah," Myouga said. "I believe I have seen him deal without it before, but through intense workouts and meditation. It's difficult but possible."

"Myouga...how much do you spy on Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru?" Kagome wondered, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Myouga sighed, and Kagome spotted a paternal expression on his face. "I was entrusted to do much more than look after my master's grave, Lady Kagome."

Kagome smiled warmly at him, and she was grateful that both brothers had someone to watch over them. She only wished that in time, they wouldn't feel so alone. She frowned at this thought, remembering her situation with them. It still wasn't easy for her to make a decision on which one she was indefinitely going to choose. Of course, she was already aware of her own feelings, but she didn't feel like they were the issue at this point.

She also thought that Sesshoumaru could never love her back as a human, and then in turn, it had been obvious that Inuyasha could love her. But she didn't feel the same way about Inuyasha that she did with Sesshoumaru. In fact, it would be cruel of her to just settle on Inuyasha because he could love her when Sesshoumaru could not.

Still, she also felt it was cruel to not choose Inuyasha - not when he loved her so much.

And then, therein was the problem. In effect, all of Kagome's thoughts made her final decision more difficult, even though it was imperative that she do so right away.

Inuyasha was free from Kikyou and the moment he mourned her death and moved on, she knew he'd need her.

And Sesshoumaru was gone, training in the skies with his uncle away from her sight. She didn't even know when she'd even see him again.

Kagome sighed audibly, and Myouga looked at her with concern.

"Something wrong, Lady Kagome?"

"Well, it's the usual problem. I still don't know how I'm going to choose one of them. I don't know how to tell them," she cried. She looked mournfully at the ground. She clenched her fists with determination. "I shouldn't even be thinking about this when the situation with Naraku is so tense. We're so close to defeating him, and if only I was stronger, we'd be able to beat him for sure.

"But I'm not strong! I couldn't even save Kikyou, and now I'm afraid that I will never have the kind of power she had. I'm afraid I'm too weak!" She began to sob now, and Myouga wished he was big enough to pat her shoulder. "I'm too weak to release an arrow and too weak to tell Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha how I really feel!"

Myouga sighed. Knowing how spirited and strong Kagome truly was, it bothered him to see her so saddened. If she felt she was weak, then she most likely wouldn't be able to defeat Naraku as she was.

"Lady Kagome, I don't mean to be blunt but if you keep feeling this way, then you won't be able to defeat Naraku. If you think you're weak, then you are weak. The Lady Kagome I know is much stronger than this." He hopped off her shoulder and started to walk back to camp. He stopped, and gave her one backward glance. "I only hope I see that Lady Kagome again someday."

Kagome sniffled as Myouga left. She knew he was right. She couldn't act like this anymore, not if they had a battle to fight. She had to be strong and determined to win against Naraku - just as she always had been since the beginning.

And she couldn't let this issue with Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha get her down - make her weak when she wasn't. She didn't need the anxiety weighing her down.

Kagome felt she had to be true to herself and to her heart. The truth was that she loved Sesshoumaru, and whether or not he loved her in the same way didn't matter. She was strong because she loved them both, because she loved Sesshoumaru as a lover and Inuyasha as a dear friend. It was her love of others that made her strong.

None of it needed to be reciprocated - she loved them for herself. She loved them because of what she knew and had learned of them. As long as she understood and admitted her own feelings, she began to gain more confidence.

Kagome knew she had to take a step and settled things. She was going to tell Inuyasha the truth, and once she saw Sesshoumaru again she would confess everything to him.

Knowing what she wanted to do made her feel better. If anything, the opportunities to confess the things that had inhibited her strength made her feel released.

As long as Kagome felt the energy to do so, she felt like she wanted to settle things immediately. She turned her heels and started back to the camp. First, she would finally put her relationship with Inuyasha at ease. She had horrible timing, especially in light of Kikyou's death, but she wanted to be crystal clear about them and about where they ultimately stood. She felt without the extra anxiety they all could function better in the battles ahead.

She was, after all, still his friend and still wanted to remain so.

Lifting her head up higher, she knew that this was the only way. She clenched her jaw and relaxed her muscles. She took a breath.

And before she could speed up her walk, an unknown power grabbed her from behind. Startled, she looked at a pair of arms about her waist dragging her backward. Her assaulter cackled into her ear and moved an arm to clamp a bony hand over her mouth before Kagome could scream.

"Hahaha, I have you now, little girl!" the woman shrieked in her ears. Kagome's eyes widened as some outside force nullified her spiritual power. Her eyes began to close to the dizzying effects of this strong black magic.

Before she lost consciousness, Kagome heard her kidnapper boast of her trapping. "Hehehe! Come out, come out, Lord Sesshoumaru! I have your pretty prize now!"

And then Kagome's vision had drowned in a murky sea of nothingness.

\---

The first thing Sesshoumaru noticed as he came out of his deep trance was his uncle's smelly boot resting on top of his head. He blinked, and wrinkled his nose at the smell coming off from the boot. He only hoped that whatever was on it did not sully his hair.

"Oh, look at that. You failed again, boy. All your comrades are dead, the world has ended, and not only has the Hell Hound destroyed your enemy, but everything else as well." The ancient dog demon then snorted audibly and then kicked Sesshoumaru on the head. "You still have no control! Even in this mock scenario you can not control the sword. You're daft, boy."

He was used to the insults; it was typical of their family. However, he was annoyed by the training method and how he still had not gotten anywhere. Instead of fighting and slashing, something he was good at, his uncle Nagoku was forcing him to enter a mock scenario, an illusion produced by the spherical amulet that his father had entrusted him.

The sphere appeared to be marble in composition, but inside its center, torrents of strange liquid glowed and swished around, resonating with the mood of whomever it was connected with.

At this point, it was connected to Sesshoumaru, and inside the gelatinous waves stewed in fury in sync with his temper.

"Well," his uncle said to slice through the awkward silence. He started to play with his midnight blue hair and then ruffled the black velvet sashes on his imperial robes. His uncle's demeanor of indifference to Sesshoumaru's failure had begun to unnerve him even more. "I will admit that your control of the Hell Hound improved slightly. He at least looked at you when you tried to control him."

"I do not see the point of this exercise. Why cannot I just train with the sword?" Sesshoumaru asked in exasperation.

"You're obviously not ready to use the sword yet. You haven't obtained that mental focus yet. Soon, I'll have you train with the Hell Hound himself, but not until you obtain some mental balance. You have to realize the sacrifices you need to make in order to use the sword. That's the secret."

"And these sacrifices are?" Sesshoumaru felt his father's meaning in unlocking the heirloom was getting even more muddled with convolution.

"Sacrifice, sacrifice, something dear to you and that you cannot release even if you were near death," his uncle waved his hand in the air. Then he made a noise in his throat. He looked at Sesshoumaru seriously. "If you had to sacrifice that girl or boy, or even that green servant of yours, would you do it for the fate of the world? Could you sacrifice them?"

"...Of course."

"Ah, it's easier to say than actually do. I wonder if you could for once sacrifice your pride and admit that they matter to you..." his uncle gave him an intense look. He made a strange noise with his lips and then grinned wickedly. "I wonder if you could even sacrifice that human bitch you're rutting with if the opportunity presented itself."

Sesshoumaru's eye widened and he looked at his uncle straight in the face, surprised that he picked up Kagome's scent on him. He gritted his teeth under his lips. 'How did the fool find out?'

"Oh, don't give me that look. Who do you think created the recipes for those smell-masking potions?" His uncle got a small gentle look in his eye and then he became rigid again. "That was indicative of our tribe, you know, creating magic potions. Your mother was very good at making perfumes. The humans used to love her for it."

"Tch." Sesshoumaru made a noise and then looked away. "Let us get back to the training, shall we? I don't have much time."

"Certainly, I only hope you saw my intentions for even bringing up the concept of sacrifices."

"I do see," Sesshoumaru answered tersely, but his uncle only sighed.

"Let's begin again..."

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Lord Sesshoumaru!" squealed someone interrupting their training. Sesshoumaru recognized the toad's voice and turned around to glare at him as his minion bumbled closer. Hardly affected by his master's murderous gaze, Sesshoumaru immediately noticed the origin of his retainer's discontent.

Behind him, one of Naraku's demon hornets was following him. He made a motion to draw his sword but his uncle had stopped him, his expression signifying interest in their guest.

Sesshoumaru mirrored his uncle's unease. With Naraku's messenger here, something down below was happening, and he dreaded that if Naraku knew well enough to send someone here to his father's throne, something important needed his immediate attention.

"A plot by Naraku," Sesshoumaru spat.

"My lord, I'm sorry to bring such a fiend into your lands, but we could not kill it or touch it. I believe it is an illusion!"

Nagoku nodded, and Sesshoumaru realized that his uncle had seen through the insect's true form all along.

Then, suddenly the messenger exploded into purple smoke, and then inside that smoke they saw a scene taking place as if they were looking at a reflection in a river.

Within the message of dark magic, Sesshoumaru recognized Kagome instantly.

And then he recognized someone else.

"No..." His uncle noticed his visible distress.

The witch from his past came out and grabbed Kagome. He didn't know how it was possible that she was alive, but there she was, back from the grave and a thorn in his side once again.

As long as Kagome was in danger, Sesshoumaru couldn't even think about training.

"I have to postpone the training," Sesshoumaru said as the message faded away accompanied by an echo of Naraku's laughter. He turned to his uncle, and he saw the man shrug indifference.

"Suit yourself. I'll be here. I'm afraid for your fate though, boy. You certainly aren't ready."

"But Kagome..."

Nagoku rolled his eyes. Then he looked at his nephew sternly. "Remember what I said about sacrifices?"

Sesshoumaru gave him one nod and turned to descend to the earth again, away from his father's castle in the sky. "I'm leaving Jaken, Rin and the boy with you. I will be back for them soon. Protect them from Naraku if you can."

His uncle shook his head. "No, they're safer with you. If the boy is important to your enemy you cannot move your eyes away from him." Sesshoumaru turned around and met the man's eyes. He hated to admit it, but his uncle was right. "There is something else you must do as well and you know it."

Sesshoumaru groaned and prepared for the speech, knowing full well what his uncle was going to say.

"Take the boy back to his sister," he responded. "And you must team up with Inuyasha to defeat this foe. You know that was what your father wanted, right?"

Sesshoumaru did not respond but he fully understood. He hated that he had to do it, but Kohaku was probably safer with him as Nagoku said - even more so if he had allies with him.

Kohaku, Rin and Jaken came up behind him and waited for him to transform to take them back. Disappearing in a rising shift of smoke and magic, Sesshoumaru turned into his dog demon form again and let everyone get onto his back.

And as he made his descent to the earth, he knew what he needed to do.

He really didn't want to approach his brother about Kagome's kidnapping - and he certainly didn't want to hear his annoying mouth either.

But like his uncle said, in order to tap into his power, he had to learn to make a few sacrifices.

TBC...


	9. Stalling Time

"Shine down, don't take it away from me, no

And I know you know how, yeah

Shine down, just give me a chance to feel it

It's taken forever to get me off the ground"

"Shine Down" by Godsmack

Chapter Nine: Stalling Time

When he smelled the air, Inuyasha knew immediately that Kagome was taken away. She had been gone an awfully long time for one of her baths, and when he went over to the stream to investigate, he sensed her fear lingering in the air.

He also smelled something else - Naraku.

But it wasn't wholly Naraku's stench, just a form of it, which meant that Naraku had used one of his incarnations to attack Kagome and kidnap her.

Dashing back to camp, Inuyasha informed the others of their group with great haste that they move quickly to rescue Kagome.

"Kidnapped?" Miroku exclaimed, and Inuyasha nodded grimly. Gathering their things, the monk and the demon slayer quickly set out behind Inuyasha toward the trail at the point of Kagome's disappearance.

"Yeah, and I smelled Naraku's stench around that area too - but I don't think he did it himself," Inuyasha added.

Sango pursed her lips. "So he got someone else to do it as usual?"

"Yes, and the smell is similar to what we've dealt with before," Inuyasha informed them, and Miroku and Sango listened on with great interest. Inuyasha continued, "I smell the undead. Naraku probably revived someone."

"Like those seven warriors?" Shippo inquired, and Inuyasha nodded again, still frowning.

"We haven't any time to lose. We should get going right away," Sango said, and Miroku nodded in agreement with her.

"Wait," Inuyasha said pausing. He sniffed the air again and got a scowl on his face. "Bastard! What is he doing here at a time like this?"

Confused, Miroku and Sango looked around, clearly aware that Inuyasha had smelled someone else approaching their campsite. Looking up in the sky, Shippo spotted a whirling cloud accompanied by a two-headed dragon.

"Look up there!" Shippo called out, and immediately they noticed Sesshoumaru's group heading their way.

"Kohaku!" Sango screamed, and her brother sat behind Rin looking anguished as his sister recognized him. She was sure he wasn't happy to see her, so why did Lord Sesshoumaru come to their group if they'd been trying to stay away?

"What do you want, you bastard?" Inuyasha seethed at him. "We don't have time for your antics and bullshit."

Sesshoumaru scowled at him with his usual look of indifference. Finally, after a moment or two of a silent stare-down, Sesshoumaru let out a forced smirk and said, "Well, it's good to see you too, dear brother."

Inuyasha knew by the sting in his brother's voice that he wasn't here because he wanted to be.

\--

Kagome whimpered, rousing to constraints around her hands and legs. She had one massive headache too, and she realized that she had no sense of time. What happened? How long had she been out?

Raising her heavy head, Kagome looked around her surroundings and realized she was in a dark, dank cave, barely lit by waning candlelight.

'Where the hell am I?' she asked herself, and then her blood ran cold as she heard some familiar cackling to her side. She jerked her head around to the source, and came face to face with the hideous witch that had captured her.

"Ah... my dear little miko. I am impressed by your vigor," the witch said. Kagome was trying to break loose from her restraints, but the vines that were wrapped around her wrists and ankles seemed enchanted, and the more she struggled, the more of her spiritual power was drained. The witch continued to cackle. "A normal human would probably be dead by now given the potency of the dark magic in those vines, but you are special. I can see why the Inu no Taisho's sons are so enamored by you."

Her face looked gaunt and worn, but she continued to smirk maliciously at Kagome with intense fire burning in her eyes. It was obvious that this woman knew the great dog demon, as well as his sons. But what did she have to do with it?

"What do you want with me?" Kagome asked bitterly, ceasing her struggling and trying to conserve what little spiritual and physical energy she had left.

"Oh, my little one, isn't it obvious? You're special to his dreadful spawn, and any moment they will burst in to rescue you."

"You're using me as bait? You lowlife creep!" Kagome bellowed, spitting on her. The witch didn't seem too amused by Kagome's insolence.

"Brat!" she slapped her hard, and Kagome felt an intense sting on her right cheek. She glared even harder at her captor. "Besides your miko powers, I don't see what's so special about you - why two proud demons of a great ruler would want in a pathetic girl like you. What spells did you entrance them with, little one?"

"Shut up! There are no spells!" Kagome countered, lashing out at her. "You're the bad one here, and why do you care about Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, anyway? What's your business with them?"

The witch was silent for a moment, piercing into Kagome's eyes with a steely gaze. She chuckled lightly again. "I told you; you're the bait. And once your dogs come to save you, I will have my revenge on Sesshoumaru, as well as the entire house of the dogs." She paused as Kagome gawked at her, terrified. The witch stroked her chin pensively and added, "And when I'm done with them, the one who revived me can have what's left."

"The one who revived you?"

"Why yes. I'm not sure of his plans, but I'm sure he wants something to do with Sesshoumaru. He mentioned to me about a boy who travels with him that has something of his."

"Naraku!" Kagome gasped, and the witch merely cackled some more.

"Ah, I see you're acquainted with this Naraku. This makes things more interesting," the witch said. "I suppose an enemy of my ally is my enemy also."

"You deluded cow. Naraku is an ally with no one. You are nothing to him, merely a pawn. You'll find out once he has what he wants, he'll dispose of you like he does all his minions!" Kagome lashed at her.

"Silence, twit!" the witch bellowed, pointing a gnarly digit at her. She narrowed her eyes at Kagome and said in a raspy growl, "I am a minion to no one. Naraku does not rule me! I care not what he does after the deed is done."

"You're wrong," Kagome replied in a low voice. "You'll see soon enough."

The witch folded her arms and lifted her chin. She looked at Kagome with misguided confidence. "Yes, we will see soon enough. We will see the looks on your lovers' faces when I slash you open right in front of them!"

Kagome felt dread creep into her bones, and she knew by the look on the witch's face that she wasn't messing around. The other monsters she had dealt with in the past had been murdering and conniving, just as much as this one. However, this witch seemed to have history with the family of the dogs. And with or without Naraku's help, Kagome felt great trepidation at the conflict to come.

'Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, please...' she thought to herself, the fear still rising in her blood. 'Please don't come. It's a trap.' And then, as the witch watched her with satisfaction and looked out the cave for her heroes to come, Kagome began to weep in silence.

\--

"You know damn well I ain't happy to see you, fuckface!" Inuyasha snarled at him, pointing an offensive finger at him. "Now get out of our way so we can find Kagome."

Sesshoumaru said nothing at first, and he gave his brother a bored look. He sighed inwardly, realizing that one of his sacrifices that his uncle mentioned must have been his sanity for teaming up with his loud-mouthed brother. Pride, dignity, and peace and quiet were fading away as his brother approached him, cursing at him and flailing his arms around like a petulant whelp.

When Inuyasha was finally inches from his face, Sesshoumaru felt his personal space violated, and his tolerance was at its limit. So as Inuyasha glared at him, daring him to leave, Sesshoumaru drew back his fist and gave him a quick punch.

"Fool," Sesshoumaru shot at him through a clenched jaw. Taunting him, Sesshoumaru snapped at him. "You really are an ignorant whelp. You know nothing? Are you so dense?"

"What the hell are you blabbering about?" Inuyasha seemed offended.

"I am here because I have to be," Sesshoumaru responded. The disgusted look on his face mirrored his words, and Inuyasha knew he wasn't lying. He looked at his brother with wide eyes. Sesshoumaru reluctantly continued, "I am here for Kagome as well."

There was a pregnant pause, and Inuyasha's group watched Sesshoumaru with shock and confusion.

Inuyasha started to growl. "You... you've been still seeing her, haven't you?" There was desperation in his voice, a shaky tone that resonated with his breaking heart. Inuyasha shook his head, not willing to believe it. He let out a defeated laugh. "I can't believe it. She's still sneaking away to see you, isn't she?"

Sesshoumaru looked down at his brother, and he noticed the broken expression on his face. His eyes clouded with anger, and Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha wasn't willing to believe it - that he wanted something, anything that would indicate the Kagome was still his.

Sesshoumaru inhaled a draught of breath and answered him truthfully. "Yes."

Inuyasha's body was shaking with rage. His hand hovered over the hilt of his sword, and he looked at his brother with a bloodthirsty fury.

"You... you BASTARD! You knew she was mine," Inuyasha seethed.

"Idiot," Sesshoumaru spat at him. "She was never yours. She wanted you, but you could never decide, could you? There was always the undead wench that you couldn't let go of. Kagome was too good a woman to be your second whore." Sesshoumaru maintained his still disposition, holding back his own possessive rage from his brother. Inuyasha, however, was ready to lash at him. Before he could move, the monk held him back, and Inuyasha turned back to glare at him.

"Please, the more you fight, the more time is wasted in saving Kagome," the monk said logically. Sango nodded behind him, watching the scene with unease while stealing glances at her silent brother.

"The monk is right, brother. I did not come here to claim possession of Kagome. I came to your group so we could save her." Sesshoumaru lifted his chin and looked down on his brother, still seething but holding his cool at the mention of saving Kagome. Sesshoumaru then added, "I know the person who kidnapped Kagome, and I believe she may be tied in with Naraku."

"She?" Sango asked, realizing the one who kidnapped Kagome was a woman.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru confirmed. He looked away from his brother's angry gaze, and focused on the monk and slayer, obviously they were thinking more logically than Inuyasha. "She is the witch that had kidnapped Rin in the past and placed a curse on me. She was once in love with my father, and he rejected her for the love of her sister."

Her turned to his brother who seemed frozen to the information. "For the Lady Izayoi."

Inuyasha's mouth gaped, and the monk walked up to his side. "So the woman we are looking for is Inuyasha's blood-related aunt?" Miroku cocked his head as Sesshoumaru nodded. "That would make her extremely old for a human. That can't be possible."

"Naraku has made it possible. He had sent his hornets to my castle to show me that Kagome had been taken. Clearly, Naraku has revived this old witch to use her to get to Kagome and to us."

"But what could Naraku really gain from using a witch to take Kagome?" the fox demon asked him, confused and having trouble following the nature of Naraku's plan.

"He knows of my relationship with Kagome. He's probably been spying on me, and he probably knows that the witch gave me my curse. He is using this information so he can get to something I have," Sesshoumaru answered. Inuyasha's group looked at him with confusion.

Finally, a much more rational and cooled down Inuyasha spoke up. "What does he want that you have? The only things he's after are the Shikon shards."

Sesshoumaru turned around and looked at Kohaku, who seemed to frown as if he knew all along. "Precisely."

Sango put her hands over her mouth and gasped. She said in a croaked voice, "Oh, no... He wants Kohaku's shards."

"That's why it's imperative I bring him back. We are stronger in large numbers, and the slayer can defend her brother," Sesshoumaru answered, seemingly unaffected by Sango's obvious heartfelt emotion.

"Wait a minute, jack ass," Inuyasha piped in as Sesshoumaru began to turn around toward the witch's scent, leading the way. Sesshoumaru stopped with his back turned as Inuyasha addressed him. "You know full well it's a trap. We have to be prepared. I know you have a new power on Tenseiga, so I'm wondering, are you able to use it well enough yet?"

Sesshoumaru turned around slowly and met Inuyasha's challenging gaze. He briefly glanced at the Tessaiga at his brother's hip. He met Inuyasha's gaze again and said with a small frown, "Are you?"

Inuyasha growled at him, ready to lash out a fresh set of insults, but Miroku walked up and put his hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. He turned again to the monk with a vicious glare. Miroku returned his gaze with a serious expression.

"Stop this fighting now. There's no point to it. We know what we have to do," Miroku said.

Sesshoumaru nodded and continued to walk forward again. "The monk is right. We must go." Sesshoumaru walked ahead on the trail toward Kagome scent where the witch was keeping her. The members of his group and Inuyasha's group followed closely and diligently behind him, while Inuyasha grumbled in the back.

Inuyasha clutched his sword tightly at his side and said to himself, 'Just you wait, bastard. I'll save Kagome, destroy that witch and Naraku, and she won't want anything to do with you ever again.'

He threw another glare at Sesshoumaru's back, and then added to his thoughts, 'Kagome is mine. Always.'


	10. The Caged Bird

"Declare this an emergency

come on and spread a sense of urgency

and pull us through"

"Apocalypse Please" by Muse

Chapter Ten - The Caged Bird

As well as Kagome could fend off the witch's power from the vines that imprisoned her, her energy had faded and she had lost consciousness. When she woke up, she realized that she was still being held captive but taken outside of the cave in the forest. The witch was beside her cackling, watching the darkness in the trees waiting for her friends to come for her.

She was glorified bait for a trap that Naraku had undoubtedly been a part of, and the old hag's lust for revenge beyond the grave only fueled his plans further to get the last Shikon shard. Kagome was sure this new enemy had no idea what kind of monster Naraku truly was, and she was blinded by her hated for Inuyasha's family.

Kagome shook the sleep from her body which caused the vines become tighter around her. She winced and let out a small scream as thorns pierce into the exposed skin on her thighs and legs. A plant tendril snaked around her neck, and Kagome gasped for air from the constriction to her windpipe. She let out a choked sigh, and the witch turned to her, grinning in victory.

"Soon, young miko, your dogs will come for you, and they will watch in horror as the vines slowly kill you in front of them," she said, cackling and teasing a gnarled finger at her.

In spite of the agonizing pain, Kagome glared at her with fortitude and stood her ground. "You're making a mistake. You don't know what you're dealing with. Once Naraku gets what he wants from you, your revenge won't matter. He'll send you back to the grave where you came from."

The witch chuckled again. "Fool. I do not care what Naraku wants. My only focus is humiliating the dog clan. I will see the Lord Sesshoumaru kneel before me and beg for mercy."

Kagome bit back a laugh herself. This dark old sorceress was obviously delusional. Kagome's reply to her came out slow yet fierce. "You're the fool here. I could die two life times over, and Sesshoumaru will never bow to you for my life."

The witch turned to her, inches from Kagome's face. Kagome recoiled back from her rancid breath as much as the vines would allow. Her hollow eyes peered at her, and after a guttural laugh she said, "You are the one that cannot see. The dog surely loves you, and I'm betting he'll do anything for you."

'If only that were true,' Kagome thought mournfully, for she loved Sesshoumaru herself - as a human, and she was sure that the full-blooded demon prince could not love her the same way. 'He just isn't capable of it,' she mused.

Kagome didn't say anything, and the witch moved past her, pacing around as movement was clearly coming from the trees. Biting on her lip, Kagome was horrified to what would come from the inevitable confrontation. She had hoped that her friends knew it was a trap and would have been mindful enough to avoid this new enemy.

However, Kagome knew her friends cared for her, especially Inuyasha, and they would no doubt come to find her. When silver hair and Kirara's fire became visible in the forest's shadows, Kagome's eyes widened as her friends, as well as Sesshoumaru's group, came through the clearing and stopped before her and the witch.

Immediately, the old sorceress laughed confidently. She sauntered around, eyeing Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha appreciatively as they looked in horror at Kagome's condition. Inuyasha shouted her name immediately, and he glared and growled at the enemy as she began to taunt them.

"Well, you have arrived as I expected," she said, grinning with premature victory. She pointed at Sesshoumaru and laughed. "And here is the biggest fool of them all. How exciting for me to learn that despite my curse, the prince of the dogs has fallen in love with a human." She turned to Inuyasha, "So has his brother, my poor wretched nephew."

"Do not let the fiend taunt you," Sesshoumaru said to his brother, ignoring the witch's heckling. Inuyasha was growling, ready to lose his temper and charge at her to rescue Kagome.

"Shut up, bastard! I'll take this bitch on by myself!" Inuyasha announced over the enemy's guffaws. "Kagome I'm coming for you!"

"Be careful, everyone!" Kagome warned. "You must all work together. She has no idea that Naraku is using her!"

"Silence!" The evil witch slapped her, and Sesshoumaru held up a hand as Inuyasha was ready to make a move after her. Inuyasha glared at his brother for ordering him back, but the frightened look on Kagome's face had stilled him to be patient.

"Do not talk as I am not here!" she bellowed, and everyone realized that this new adversary was highly insecure and concerned with gaining the spotlight. After receiving a barrage of glares from Kagome's companions, the witch announced her demands at last, using Kagome as if she was some bargaining chip.

"I will release the girl on two conditions!" She pointed at Kohaku, and Sango gasped. "First, the boy will be given to the one who revived me. I do not care what happens to him, only that he is traded for the girl and given to the one called Naraku."

"No! Don't do it!" Kagome yelled. She was silenced again with a slap.

"Second! I wish for both princes of the House of Dogs to bow before me," she said, pointing at Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, "and you will become my slaves."

"Never, old woman." Sesshoumaru looked to Kagome and then to his enemy, his golden eyes cooling with calculated fury. "I will take the girl some other way."

"You'll never get Kohaku either!" Inuyasha drew Tessaiga and pointed it at her. He added, "I would rather die than become your slave, you dried up old hag!"

The witch sighed, still smiling and almost expecting their answers. She responded whimsically, "Very well!"

Suddenly, a blue mist rose up from the ground around them. The image of the witch began to glow, and with a strong pop, she began duplicating herself to take an offensive position around them. Her laugh echoed throughout the area, and everyone began to stand their guard as she and her copies lunged for them.

Everyone kept their stance, trying to figure out which one of the replicas was the real witch while still trying to fend off the others. Her doppelgangers had packed just as much of a punch as she had, and even Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru had some trouble dodging her mystic blue blasts.

Kagome watched in horror as Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha went their separate ways, refusing to cooperate and work together. She attempted to scream loudly at them, but the vines had suddenly squeezed harder, and only a hoarse whisper came out when she tried to speak.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she watched her friends gain mystical injuries while falling back from their defenses. Her eyes widened when Sesshoumaru let out a blast from his sword, a crescent shaped black hole that ripped through one of the witch's copies.

Momentarily, everyone glanced at his position, awed by Tenseiga's new attack. He lunged for the enemy doppelganger that Inuyasha was fighting, and in a fluid motion, he waved his sword to set off another blast. Inuyasha tried desperately to fend off the witch himself, but since she was not a demon, his dragon-scaled Tessaiga could not suck away any youki from her. Any energy she'd have from Naraku would be small, and even her copies wouldn't have that much to suck away.

Convinced he was fighting a fake, Inuyasha blasted the Kongosoha attack at her, and the diamonds rushed past Sesshoumaru and obliterated the copy witch. Sesshoumaru turned his head to his brother, giving him a mild glare as his brother smirked at him for defeating the enemy first.

Before they could face off with the next copies coming for them, they heard Sango's scream and turned to see one of the witches inching toward Kohaku. He fended off the energy with his sickle to protect Rin, only to be blasted backward on his backside. Rin screamed in fear, gaining Sesshoumaru's attention as he quickly darted toward the spot.

"Kohaku!" Sango cried out, and instantly Inuyasha bounded behind his brother toward them.

"That's the real one!" Miroku exclaimed, while turning to jab at a clone with his staff. He ran toward Sango, and they both watched as Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha barely made it in time to help Kohaku. Almost on instinct, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru begin to work together. Inuyasha stepped in front of Kohaku, and Sesshoumaru drew his sword back, sending the strongest Meidou blast at the witch that he could manage.

Everyone watched in awe as a black, waxing moon shape veered toward the real witch before she could get her hands on Kohaku. She moved back, giving them a sour look before dashing like lightning to safety. With the crisis averted, everyone turned to see that the enemy had retreated back to Kagome's position, and now she had pulled a dagger to the young miko's throat.

The evil sorceress was panting in exhaustion from her waning power. She glared at them with desperate eyes, and everyone stilled as the knife made a small cut on Kagome's throat near her jugular.

"You bastards. You failed. I don't care about the boy anymore, and I don't care about the House of Dogs!" she inhaled coarsely, trying to catch her breath. Her skin looked gaunt, and her once powerful blue aura was dimming around her. She gripped Kagome tightly with her vines, piercing the blade a little more. Blood trickled down Kagome's throat, and she whimpered. Inuyasha took a step, and the witch gave him a warning glare.

"Nothing more would bring me peace than seeing this young girl - the one you dogs love so dearly - die right before your eyes." Her breath wavered, and she let out a raspy howl before lifting the dagger above Kagome's head. "I will see you all suffer!"

Everyone gasped as her weapon came close to stabbing Kagome. Sesshoumaru began to move, as did Inuyasha, but when they saw the witch pause - her body twitching in agony - they watched as Kagome's power began to pulse around her.

"I won't let you!" Kagome wailed. The vines holding her disintegrated as her spiritual power flared. The witch drew back, eyes round with fright as Kagome's power burned into her skin and subdued her own.

"What sort of girl are you?" she whispered, and Kagome's pink power turned white as it raged. The witch tried to retreat, throwing down the dagger and trying to run into the woods. As Kagome's light consumed her, the witch was immobilized, screaming as the power chewed at her false body and revived soul, turning her to dust.

After that, Kagome's power had disappeared in an instant, and she began to fall to the ground in an unconscious state. Her power exhausted, she could not break her fall, so Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru both ran to her swiftly, hoping to catch her.

Instead, they were blocked by a rising wall of purple shouki. Inuyasha began coughing along with the others as the poisonous mist filled their lungs. Sesshoumaru squinted his eyes in the dark fog, and with his acute vision, he could see Naraku now holding Kagome captive. The partial and tainted Shikon jewel began to glow through the smog as Naraku held Kagome close to him.

His dark, familiar laughter rang through their ears. Inuyasha growled, and Sesshoumaru began to dash to their location. He was blocked immediately by Naraku's minion, Byakuya, and he directed a small Meidou blast at the evil incarnation, trying to get through as Naraku fell back from the scene.

"You coward! Come back here!" Inuyasha shook a fist at him.

"Ah, Inuyasha, you cannot start making demands when I have your pretty miko right here. You need her to defeat me, don't you? Well I need her to get the last shard of the jewel." He paused, and the shouki began to subside as everyone got a clear look at him. Naraku, who was no longer scratched up from the last battle, had stood before them with Kagome unconscious in his arms.

"Well, my friends, it all comes down to this," he stated in his low, confident voice. "Slayer," he said turning to Sango, "you know what I desire."

He held out his hand to Kohaku and said, "Give me the last shard, and I will spare Kagome's life."

TBC...


	11. Victory's Dream

"This is happening for your pleasure, at your leisure

Use your evil, when you want"

"Evil" by Ladytron, 'Light and Magic'

\--

Chapter Eleven - Victory's Dream

Naraku laughed at them, his tentacles growing and multiplying, ready to strike at their first move. He grinned, victory assured in his smile. Awaiting their response, Naraku decided to urge things along. He gripped a tentacle around Kagome's throat, and although still unconscious, she wheezed as her lungs strained for more air. She slumped against him helpless and immobile like a doll. Naraku cackled at their horrified faces, and the fear and anger rising in their auras fed fuel to his fire.

"What is it going to be, Slayer? Your brother is as good as dead anyway; give the shard to me and he will find peace," he goaded her, and Sango said nothing to him. She gripped her weapon, glaring at him and pursing her lips, ready for a fight. She stood in front of Kohaku, who looked on with terror at the desperate situation.

"Aneue," Kohaku said in a low voice, and Sango turned to him with a stern look.

"No, Kohaku," she said. "I will never give you to him. I would rather you die for peace than for evil. Is that not what Kikyou-sama wanted for you?"

Kohaku nodded, unsure if she was right. He looked to Kagome and then to everyone else, and he noticed their worry and agony at the young girl's capture.

"How noble," Naraku commented, watching their interaction. Sango turned and glared at him. "You are fighting a worthless battle, Slayer. You will die when you fight, and I will take the shard anyway."

Sango gritted her teeth, but her eyes widened when she noticed movement coming from Kagome. The others watched with interest too, and Kagome had slowly begun to wake despite the intensity of Naraku's negative power. Noticing the girl rousing, Naraku tightened his grip around her neck, and she immediately screamed.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled, ready to run after her, but Sesshoumaru held him back again.

With harsh, yet calm eyes Sesshoumaru looked down at him and said, "You will put Kagome in more danger if you act rash."

"Fuck that!" Inuyasha screamed, and as he moved to charge, Sesshoumaru punched him with the hilt of his sword and sent him flying backward.

"Fool!" Sesshoumaru spat at him, and Kagome quickly roused to the scene between the brothers.

"Stop it! Don't fight each other! Remember who the real enemy is here!" Kagome yelled, struggling with her voice and barely managing to speak above a whisper.

Naraku chuckled at them, pulling Kagome back against him and watching the scene between the brothers in delight.

"You make this too easy," he said, and Inuyasha glared at Naraku while rubbing his jaw. Sesshoumaru merely stared at him, his stoic mask firmly in place. Naraku caught him glancing at the miko before focusing his full attention on him. "You idiot brothers can keep fighting each other, weakening your group. Then it will be easier to get what I want." He looked over to Kohaku, who was hiding behind his sister while protecting Rin.

"Don't give into him!" Kagome yelled again, her voice a little louder than before. Naraku's tentacle tightened even more, blocking out her voice. She whimpered, and tears squeezed out her eyes as the pain became too much to bear. Naraku laughed loudly, and suddenly his tentacles became longer and loomed above them.

Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome, noticing her distress and wondering if she could take much more of it. He hated to see her suffer, and even though he was sure she was powerful for being an untrained miko, she was still human, and she only had enough energy to hold on before her human body would expire. That was one thing he couldn't bear to see, and while Naraku tied her against him, he choked her like a rag doll, and it made Sesshoumaru lose his patience.

He heard his brother swearing beside him as Naraku's shouki became denser around them, and as the hanyou was about to charge first after Naraku, Sesshoumaru shot him a dangerous look and said in a low voice, "Don't get in my way, whelp." Inuyasha glared at him, yet his jaw dropped from surprise at Sesshoumaru's boldness. He looked on dumbly as his older brother sprang to action, heading right toward Kagome's position.

"Hey!" Inuyasha yelled, but he took off to catch up with Sesshoumaru's intense speed. A dense, spindle of Naraku's tentacles wound around them, and the two of them had to dodge getting caught and squeezed to death. Sesshoumaru began launching small, consistent Meidou blasts at the tentacles, and as usual, Inuyasha waved around his sword erratically, working for survival instead of precision.

Naraku was smarter than they gave him credit for, and slowly his tentacles were driving the brothers closer together, forcing them in each other's way. When a tentacle slammed Inuyasha into Sesshoumaru's back, he flung his brother off of him and gave him a steely glare.

"Keep sharp," was all he said, and Inuyasha returned his brother's glare, sure that he'd retaliate if he wasn't already fighting Naraku.

Inuyasha sent out a sloppy slash to an incoming tentacle, and as shouki spit out of it's severed limb, Sesshoumaru came behind him and pushed him out of the way, saving his brother from the onslaught of poison.

Inuyasha looked at his brother with wide eyes, and when Sesshoumaru turned, Inuyasha heard his brother huff at him under his breath. His eyes narrowing, Inuyasha knew the only reason he had been saved was that Sesshoumaru wanted him to be at his strongest, not debilitated by something as weak as shouki.

They seemed to be getting nowhere, and Naraku's tentacles were relentless. The tainted Shikon Jewel, although incomplete, was still fueling Naraku with enough power to regenerate. In the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru caught the illusion master Byakuya coming after Kohaku, while the monk and slayer fended off his attacks as well as stray tentacles. Even the young fox kit tried to help, sending bursts of his immature blue flames at small tentacles and onslaught of shouki that came near Rin. Jaken and Ah and Un did their part to contribute fire power as well. But it didn't seem like enough as Naraku cackled, his miasma and monster body consuming them.

One slash upon another, Sesshoumaru took note of how well their groups had fought together, yet he and his brother battled separately, and something deep inside him insisted that this wasn't what his father had wanted. His uncle had taught him about sacrifice, and once he learned it, only did he become stronger.

But what did he have to sacrifice? Rin? Kagome? His sword? He glanced idly at Kagome, and then back to his brother. Inuyasha still obviously loved her, and Sesshoumaru knew he was fighting for the desire to win her, not only just save her from Naraku's clutches.

And unconsciously, maybe Sesshoumaru was fighting to win her as well. He would never admit it, not on any earthly level, but he was not an emotional being and he never would be. He expressed any emotion he had through the blade of his sword or the poison of the whip. He brought emotions from others by his prowess and the stature of the dog family.

But what was left of his proud dog family? There was him, his estranged uncle, and his brother. That was all, and although his and his uncle's power could have been enough to rule the lands, they really no longer did. Humans ruled. Their family was dwindling out, and the witch's curse, which he had suspected hadn't disappeared since her demise, would smear any chance of descendants from him.

Another large tentacle came toward him, and in his errant thoughts, it was Inuyasha who jumped up to save him. Sesshoumaru looked at his brother curiously, and there was no look of pride on his face. He did not taunt Sesshoumaru, but instead he looked at him with a dire expression. He was panting, and Sesshoumaru could tell the hanyou's energy was waning. He had several cuts and bruises all over his body, and Tessaiga was nicked and cracked in many places. The dragon-scaled pulse was beginning to fade.

'This can not go on forever, for we will lose,' Sesshoumaru thought to himself. And suddenly, his uncle's voice accosted his mind, and Tenseiga vibrated in his hand.

"You must team up with Inuyasha to defeat this foe. You know that was what your father wanted? Am I right?"

Sesshoumaru pursed his lips. He knew exactly what his father wanted. He wanted him to accept Inuyasha as his brother. He would want them to team up with him to defeat this foe, and any other enemy that came after them. They were bound by blood - with their family power surging through their veins. Their different mothers didn't matter at this point; it was their father that was the same, and he was the stronghold.

Sesshoumaru would have to sacrifice not only his pride, but his prejudice for his brother. It made no difference at this point which one of them Kagome was going to chose. The end result with Naraku would determine the fate of the world, and in them, they had to be the ones to prevent a most dire end.

Another tentacle ripped past Sesshoumaru's cheek, and as he shifted, it surged toward Inuyasha's gut. Inuyasha barely had enough time to dodge it, yet Sesshoumaru quickly combined his poison with the power of his sword to obliterate it. Inuyasha gaped with awe as his brother's poison missed him and flung elsewhere. His brother had saved him, returning the recent favor.

And suddenly this fight no longer seemed as difficult as they began to work together on instinct. Inuyasha took a defensive pose against Sesshoumaru's back, and the two of them began to work together, slashing at the tentacles with constant precision.

"It's time to step this up, dear brother," Sesshoumaru said almost in a whimsical tone. Inuyasha chuckled behind him.

"First one to rescue Kagome gets her? Is that what you mean?" Inuyasha replied with some levity. His brother huffed.

"That is something we will determine later," Sesshoumaru answered. "Right now, there is a greater thing we must do." He glanced backward and caught the corner of Inuyasha's eye. His brother was listening.

"We must sacrifice pride for family honor," Sesshoumaru said.

Inuyasha nodded. "Let's get this guy."

Tessaiga and Tenseiga began to surge together, and the two brothers paused, watching as their swords pulsed and began to evolve. A blackened light was forming a sphere around them, knocking out tentacles that dare cross their way. As Tenseiga pulsed black, the power of the Meidou began to mimic in Tessaiga, and soon the dragon-scaled Tessaiga turned a hollow black, burning with reddened embers on the sides of the blade. Sesshoumaru's sword silent, the Meidou no longer pulsing in the blade as Tessaiga complete absorbed the ability. In his hands, it was just the same healing sword as it was before, completely free of the power Totosai had instilled in his blade.

"Huh," he said with mild disappointment. It was obvious his father had always intended Inuyasha to have the Meidou, and though Sesshoumaru had it first, it was clear he was only there to perfect the energy.

Sesshoumaru's attention turned back to Inuyasha, who whined a war cry at Naraku as he heaved up his Black Blade and shot a blast of Meidou that burned through his tentacles and went for the heart of Naraku's body. Naraku appeared bewildered, not expecting such power.

He hadn't expected them to cooperate either.

Kagome's eyes widened as the energy came toward them, and Naraku clung to her desperately, trying to use her for a shield. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha both stared at the scene with fright, not expecting the energy blast to get so close to Kagome. She screamed and by some will of Inuyasha, the Meidou blast had turned coarse, ripping through Naraku's shoulder and tendrils of hair, buzzing past him and destroying a mass of tentacles that loomed behind him.

The blast from behind had propelled them forward, which had jarred an already weak Kagome, knocking her out again. Inuyasha gasped in shock, his face full of horror when he hurt Kagome and did not intend to. Naraku seemed to be shaken as well, and he looked down at Kagome and then back to the brothers. The wicked smile on his face showed that he well and ready for more.

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru glanced at each other. The others were still fighting behind them, their energy waning from exhaustion.

The battle was still far from over.

\--

When Kagome woke up, she found herself standing in front of the Goshinboku in her time. Fall leaves whisked in front of her, and she looked to the sky noticing the haze of the shortening afternoons of the Fall Equinox. The wind blew a pile of leaves straight for her face, and she whimpered, putting her hands up in defense and closing her eyes.

The wind died down, and she opened her eyes to face Kikyou, who was standing in front of her, still in her traditional miko garb. She said nothing, and Kagome's lip quivered at the sight of her.

She was supposed to be dead, and as far as she knew, Kikyou had never ventured into the modern era.

'It has to be a dream,' Kagome mused to herself.

"It is no dream," Kikyou corrected immediately, and Kagome stared in awe as the long-gone priestess had just read her thoughts.

Her voice was cool, her expression still stagnant as ever as she peered into Kagome's soul. Kagome swallowed an uncomfortable lump in her throat, and she gave Kikyou a curious expression.

"What are we doing here then? Why are we in the modern era?"

"We are not there either. We are inside your mind, Kagome. I can not exist anywhere else to speak with you." Kikyou paused, and she watched Kagome's expression carefully. She cocked her head and added, "I am still dead."

Kagome nodded, hesitant to trust her words too much. What if she was Naraku, and he was putting her in an elaborate trap?

Kikyou unexpectedly smiled. "Your senses are getting sharper, Kagome. It is smart to not trust me and suspect Naraku. I would have done the same. However, I assure you I am real. You're unconscious in Naraku's grasp as we speak, and if he destroys you completely, the jewel will never be purified. He will get what he wants and the world will fall."

"But, how can I stop him? What does this have to do with me? I can't even fight him. My power -"

"...is sealed," Kikyou finished for her. Kagome stared at her in shock, and the priestess continued, "Your true power is sealed, and it is entirely my doing. When I had the Shikon Jewel burn with my remains, I went into the afterlife with lost love, hatred, and revenge brimming in my soul. My next soul would not be spared the duties of the life before. So my will was to have the Shikon Jewel be dormant, as well as the strong spiritual power that would undoubtedly be passed to my next incarnation." She paused, and she looked around Kagome's era momentarily and focused back on Kagome. "I did not foresee the kind of era the next life would be in. There is little magic here, and even less demonic aura to attract enemies to the Shikon Jewel. However, it did anyway, and you were pulled into my time."

Kikyou came closer to her, and Kagome was so stunned by her story she didn't move. The miko grabbed her shoulders and spoke to her emotionally. "I was right when I told you that you did not belong in my era. You don't, and by being there, you give the evil half of the Jewel the opportunity to attract villains to increase their power and free them from the never-ending struggle of good and evil in the Jewel." Kikyou released her grip on Kagome and gave her a hard stare. "You should have stayed in your time, but things cannot be undone. Even though you are untrained, you must release the sealed power within you to finally destroy Naraku, thus making the final wish on the Shikon Jewel."

"The final wish?" Kagome felt stupid for asking such a lame question. She was barely following what Kikyou was trying to tell her. Her power was sealed? Her true power? What sort of power was that? It was all so confusing.

"Yes, and then you will purify the jewel once in for all. You should have enough power once unsealed to dispose of the evil in the jewel and ultimately dispel it," Kikyou said, and she began walking down the far-reaching steps of the shrine. Kagome didn't know where she was going, but she supposed her lesson with Kikyou was almost over.

But what did she really learn?

"Kikyou, how do I unseal my power?"

Kikyou turned around, and the late afternoon sun casting a dark shadow on the stone in front of her. She said, "You don't." She turned around and began to walk away again. Kagome watched her as she began to fade in the shadows of the trees down the streets. Soon, shadows were looming around her, and Kagome wondered if night was falling. When she looked around, she gasped as her environment began to blur.

Kagome's mind felt muzzy, and her eyes began to close beyond her will. She heard Kikyou's voice echo in her mind before she was pulled back into reality.

"You don't unseal your powers, Kagome. I do. And I will when the time is right."

\--

A sharp pain pierced her belly, and when she looked down, Naraku had impaled her with one of his tentacles. Wide-eyed with shock, she looked up to see him sneering down at her, retaliating as her power had flared while unconscious.

She coughed, and she felt the taste of blood rise from her throat. She gagged, spilling the contents of her stomach onto him. Naraku howled next to her, releasing his grip momentarily as her stomach acid had burned his flesh. Kagome noticed his burns, and when she looked down at her entire body, she realized she was completely pulsing with an intense pink aura.

'She's releasing my powers,' Kagome thought with Kikyou's intentions buzzing in her mind. 'Is it time?'

Shaking the haze from her mind, Kagome looked ahead, and she saw her friends weakening. Miroku had fallen, and Sango barely managed to stand to protect the monk's wounded body as well as Kohaku and Rin. Shippou had lain beside Miroku, unconscious and full of burns on his face and hands. Inuyasha was still slashing at tentacles, his face full of gashes and his sword barely outputting energy for his attacks. Sesshoumaru was the least of the weary, and he met her gaze momentarily as she watched him fight. The moment they locked eyes, Sesshoumaru began to fight harder, as did Inuyasha when he noticed Kagome had finally roused.

'We are losing,' Kagome thought, and as tears formed in her eyes, she felt warmer - her own power feeling hot as she cried.

"It's time, Kagome. This has to end," Kikyou said inside her mind again.

Kagome's lip quivered and she realized just exactly what she must do. 'I might die from this,' she thought errantly.

'Yes,' Kikyou agreed with her and the voice soon disappeared.

Kagome turned her gaze to Sesshoumaru and then to Inuyasha. She loved them both but in different ways - love that she was just happy she was able to share. With one last look, she could feel that this might be the last time she could see them. And as sad as it was, Kagome didn't know if she'd like to see them in another way.

Fighting; they were in their element, of course, and to her, they shined beautifully. The inu youkai, princes of the House of Dogs - born with power, bred for fighting, and instilled with a destiny that transcended love.

"Goodbye," she whispered aloud, and Naraku began to struggle as she held him, preventing him from running away again. She glanced over at him, giving him a pitying look and letting the dormant power flow through her body.

She closed her eyes, and all she could see was white. Naraku was howling in agony.

\--

When the light dissipated, the forest was dark again and the screaming had ceased. A calm, peaceful melody blanketed the forest. Inuyasha pulled down his arm from shielding his eyes, and quickly, he saw Kagome still hovering in the air. A small amount of power levitated her, but as it completely disappeared, she fell with a splash into a puddle at the bottom of a large crater that formed from the blast. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha both sprung to catch her fall in time, but neither one had made it.

As she lay lifeless in the puddle, Naraku's partially completed Shikon Jewel fell after her. As it bobbled next to Kagome in the puddle, the entire water around her purified, as well as the jewel. It sunk to the bottom next to her chin with a faint pink glow under the water.

The clear pink pulse was a good indication that the jewel was purified again. And when Miroku looked down at his hands, free of the torrent winds that had cursed him, he made a cry of joy that drew the attention of the others. Soon from exhaustion, he then slumped back down on the ground next to Shippou and Jaken. Naraku was truly dead, and even though they had put up a tough fight, they would have never won without Kagome.

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru suddenly ran to Kagome's side. Inuyasha was the first to grab her, cradling her stilled body in his warm lap. He called to her, and he put his hand over her mouth to check if she was still breathing. As he shifted her body a little in his lap, Kagome began coughing loudly, spitting out tainted water that soon purified as it dribbled down her mouth.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled, worried for her health. Kagome didn't seem to hear him, and she turned her attention to the jewel wading in the puddle next to them. She looked up at Sesshoumaru, and put her hand over his, which was still clutching his sword.

"Take the jewel, Sesshoumaru," she whispered weakly, and both he and Inuyasha gaped at her. She furrowed her brow and as much as her energy allowed, she demanded, "Take it and keep it safe. You never wanted it, so you're the best person to have it."

Sesshoumaru was ready to protest, but he watched Kagome slump back into Inuyasha arms. Before she fell completely unconscious, she told him, "I trust you, Sesshoumaru."

TBC...


	12. The Wall of Time

"Say goodnight not goodbye

You will never leave my heart behind

Like the path of a star

I'll be anywhere you are."

"Say Goodnight" by Beth Nielsen Chapman

By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Twelve - The Wall of Time

Everyone was silent for a moment, and the brothers watched Kagome's body before Sango had nudged Inuyasha on the shoulder.

"She needs medicine," Sango said, and Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement.

"You must take her back to her time," Sesshoumaru stated to Inuyasha, his voice deep and still strong despite the current sadness. He locked eyes with his brother, and they both knew it was the right thing to do. Kagome's life teetered on the edge, and not only did she exhaust a lot of her energy and power, but she was also covered with bruises and stab wounds. She wouldn't last another night in the feudal era.

Inuyasha nodded, and he glanced one last time at the Shikon Jewel before sprinting toward the well. As the others tried to assess the injuries, Sesshoumaru watched Inuyasha in the distance toward the well. He felt a pang of jealousy stir in his blood, and he frowned realizing that Kagome may indeed die. If she came back from her own era alive and well, would she continue things with him as they were before? Intuition told him that their tryst was indeed over, and his brother, who could access both this world and hers, had more of a chance to be with her.

With that thought, Sesshoumaru continued to convince himself that he was not in love with her, nor was he the type of demon that fell in love. Within his true nature, he reserved his final thought of Kagome that he would indeed miss her.

Memories of her body fitting tightly against his and her soft breathy moans against his skin had stirred even more emotions within him. He would long for her terribly, and if he hoped to see her again, it would be a long arduous wait until that day came. The only thing he could do now while Kagome healed in her time was to respect her wishes. He picked up the incomplete glass ball that sunk at the bottom of the deep puddle and stared at it as the water dripped down his fingers.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin had chimed in. "Are you really going to keep the jewel for Kagome-chan?"

Everybody turned their attention to him, anxious for his answer. He gave them all a cool stare and said, "Of course, Rin. When the jewel is whole again, I will keep it for Kagome. I will return it when I see her again."

"What will you do with it until then?" Miroku asked, glancing at Kohaku. The boy bravely approached Sesshoumaru with a determined expression. He already knew what he must do.

Sesshoumaru glanced at Kohaku and then turned to the monk to answer him. "I will take the completed jewel and hide it among my family castle. Since the castle is virtually hidden from most humans and demons, it will likely protect the jewel by its inherent fortified barriers."

"But the jewel isn't complete. There's still Kohaku's piece of the shard, and we'd need Kagome here to put the jewel together," Sango said. Miroku shook his head in disagreement next to her.

"Actually, Kaede could fuse the jewel together just as well. Now it's up to Kohaku on what he wants to do with his piece," Miroku replied. Sango gave her little brother a horrified look, for she knew all too well what his decision was going to be, no matter what the consequences.

In a defeated voice, she said, "Kohaku." And he turned to his sister with a resolute expression.

"I'm sorry, Aneue, but I must do this. It was always my fate," Kohaku stated. Sango ran to her brother and grabbed his shoulders.

"You don't have to do this, Kohaku. You can still live," Sango pleaded, but Kohaku wouldn't budge.

"I could live, but it wouldn't be really living. It would be a false life dependent upon the jewel," Kohaku explained. Sango leaned into him and hugged him tightly with tears falling down her face. He returned her embrace and held his sister lovingly.

"I need you, Kohaku. I don't want to lose you," she cried, and he rubbed soothing circles on her back. He sighed against her, whispering her name. As he held her, he reached for his back and looked up at Sesshoumaru. He nodded, and in a sharp motion, he dug his fingers into his back and pulled out the shard. His eyes went blank as his fingers drew the shard past his wound, and he collapsed in Sango's arms, lifeless and finally gone.

Sango wailed as her little brother died in her arms. Everyone looked onto the scene in silence, giving Sango the proper respect she deserved. The Shikon shard fell to the ground, a glint of sunlight reflecting off its tiny surface.

Rin suddenly ran over to the scene and hugged Kohaku from behind, sad that she was losing a friend. Miroku lifted up his hand and said a prayer, while Sango continued to cry, holding desperately onto her brother's body. Sesshoumaru looked upon the scene with indifference, his attention on the fallen jewel shard and his thoughts on Kagome. It wasn't as though he didn't acknowledge Kohaku's sacrifice; on the contrary, Kohaku had been a good friend to Rin, an ally, and a noble comrade against the fight with Naraku. Though, the boy had been already dead when he met him, and the undead miko had been right to value the remainder of his pure life in protecting the last fragment of the Shikon Jewel. And with the inevitable end of their battle, Kohaku's role had always been clear.

Rin had wiped the tears from her small face, and she bent down and picked up the last fragment of the jewel. She sauntered lightly over to Sesshoumaru's position, lifting her hand to offer him the last piece. Sesshoumaru bowed at her, taking the jewel and placing the fragment with the larger half in a pocket under his breastplate. Rin clung to his legs suddenly, sniffling as she watched the emotional scene between the slayer and her fallen brother.

"Goodbye, Kohaku-kun," Rin said against his legs. Sesshoumaru looked down at Rin and placed a sympathetic hand on her head.

"Jaken, Ah and Un, let us go to the old miko," Sesshoumaru said, wasting no time to complete the jewel. Miroku and Sango turned back to him, and as he proceeded to leave, Sango picked up her brother's body in her arms. She stood next to Miroku, who had picked up a wounded Shippou, and they glanced at each other before following Sesshoumaru back to the village.

\--

Inuyasha held Kagome close as he leaped from the mouth of the well to the inside of Kagome's house. Her family was sitting down to dinner as he barged through, and desperately he pleaded with them to save Kagome's life.

"Please, she's been seriously wounded!" Inuyasha cried, and immediately her family was at her side with looks of horror on their faces.

"She's barely breathing!" her mother exclaimed, and Inuyasha looked down at her mournfully.

"There's a hospital just up the street," Kagome's grandfather informed him, and Inuyasha looked over his shoulder through the window to that direction.

"I'll go with you," Souta demanded, and Inuyasha nodded, bending his knees so Souta could ride on his back. Despite his waning strength, he still managed to carry both Kagome and Souta. The hanyou was now functioning on pure adrenaline. His only concern right now was saving Kagome's life.

"Go!" Kagome's mother said, and she watched as Inuyasha bounded out the door with Souta directing him. Her mother added, "We'll follow you and get there as soon as we can!"

\--

Inuyasha didn't know what all these machines were that were hooked up to Kagome's unconscious body, but whatever they did, they were helping her survive.

It had been a close call, and any moment later, Kagome could have died. The doctors were astonished by Kagome's variety of injuries, and Inuyasha was thankful that Souta had come up with a quick story, explaining that his sister had been kidnapped and tortured by gang members and left on their doorstep. It sounded horrific, almost as horrendous as what truly occurred. The doctors bought it, and they immediately prepped Kagome for surgery.

Besides the deep gashes and stab wounds, parts of Kagome's body had serious burns, which would leave deep scarring even with the help of plastic surgery. She had lost a lot of blood from the wound in her stomach, and the doctors patched that injury up first before anything else.

When Kagome was finally stabilized, the hospital put her up in a recovery room, and the doctors had told her family that Kagome would be there for a long time since some her injuries had been near-fatal.

"I'm surprised that she even pulled through and is sleeping so soundly. She has a tough spirit." The doctor turned to the family sympathetically and said, "Anyone else would have been in a deep coma, or even dead."

Kagome's mother had thanked the doctor, and when visiting hours were open for non-family, Inuyasha immediately sprung into Kagome's room to check on her, vowing to stay by her side in her time of need.

"Kagome," he whispered with profound love. He had been so worried about her that he hadn't had time to really register that Naraku had finally been defeated. Their mission was finally over, and the feudal era was once again safe from Naraku. He only wished that Kagome was well enough to enjoy this victory with him.

He gave her a determined stare, watching her as she breathed on her own. The doctors had her hooked up to machines hours before, and they were astonished when Kagome started breathing despite her injuries, and thankfully, healing fast. When they said she had a 'strong spirit' Inuyasha knew they had no real idea about what kind of will Kagome really had. Her strong fighting spirit was one of the things Inuyasha loved about her, and he guessed it would be the same vitality that would help her heal faster.

"I will stay here with you until you wake up, Kagome," Inuyasha said softly, tracing a finger over her hand. "Then we can go back and enjoy this win with our friends, with each other."

He took Kagome's hand lightly in his, and he watched her as she began whimpering. Inuyasha stared with fascination as her lips began moving while she talked in her sleep. She made a pained expression which sent Inuyasha on his feet. He moved quickly to her side, and when he heard the words coming past her lips, his eyes widened and his heart fell.

"Sesshoumaru..." she whispered while sleeping, and although she only said it once, saying Sesshoumaru's name had echoed in his head like a mantra.

He walked backward and slumped in the chair, staring at Kagome with a furrowed brow. His face contorted in mild anger, but in his heart, he felt deep sorrow cut him like a knife.

'She loves him.'

The pained expression on Kagome's face was replaced by an angelic smile. Inuyasha watched her intensely, his lip quivering as he held back the tears, trying to be strong.

'She loves him the way I love her.' And saying it to himself held new meaning, and hearing his brother's name come from her lips made him realize the truth.

Kagome had fallen in love with Sesshoumaru, and even though she had vowed to stay by Inuyasha's side, they were only friends. In the beginning there was something, albeit juvenile and immature, there was something there, and Inuyasha was the one who hesitated. He was the one who couldn't see when she longed for him.

Could he really fault Sesshoumaru for coming to Kagome in her time of need? Sesshoumaru had problems of his own, and although he used the worst way to appeal to Kagome's good nature, something between them had gained fruition. Anger, jealousy and defeat were inutile and had no place among them. Of course, Inuyasha couldn't believe Sesshoumaru felt anything meaningful toward Kagome, a human no less, but it was certainly possible given the way he behaved toward her in their last battle.

Inuyasha watched as Kagome made a sudden moment, lifting up her hand in the air and calling Sesshoumaru's name again. As if in a daze, he stood up and walked toward the exit of the room. He took one backward glance at Kagome, and the pain all over his body only increased. He didn't want to leave her like this. She was hurt, vulnerable, and despite her calling out his brother's name, she was still his friend and he loved her.

Still, he didn't feel welcome. He didn't want to go, but when she woke up, what face would she long to see? He was sure it wouldn't be his.

Inuyasha inhaled a heavy draught of breath, and then he turned his heel and stood back at Kagome's side. He looked down at her, soaking up the image of her face inside his memories. He bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips, and when she made a noise and smiled, he smiled in return, his eyes still brimming with sadness.

He took her hand, caressing her fingers before saying, "I have to go now, Kagome. I just want you do know that we won. We won because of you." His voice trailed off, and the words became stuck in his throat. He exhaled heavily again, and his voice became shaky. "I don't want to go, but I have to. I'm just glad you're alright, and even though you'd pound my head to a pulp if you were awake, you know I have to leave you." He paused, and he continued to stare at her, wondering if maybe it was better she wasn't awake. He cocked his head to her and said, "I know you love him, and I would only be a burden to you if I stayed in your time to be with you when you don't even want me. I wish every day that you still loved me, that I hadn't been a fool about Kikyou and treated you better.

"But we can't change things now, can we?" He paused again and looked out her hospital window. The heavens glowed from the skyline of lights, illuminating modern Tokyo as dusk fell into the night. Inuyasha turned back to Kagome's still form, squeezing her hand and releasing it. He said resolutely, "I have to go, Kagome. I'll miss you. I don't think we're going to see each other again, will we? You came and did what you had to do. You belong in this time, just as you always did."

Inuyasha bit his lip, and he watched Kagome sleep for a little while longer before he left. Kagome's mother knocked on the door, and he looked up to see her motioning him toward her. Soon, visiting hours were over and he had to leave. He stood up and gave Kagome one more kiss and walked slowly out the door, refusing to turn back and look at her.

'Goodbye Kagome. I'll always love you,' Inuyasha thought. And as he said his farewells to Kagome's family, he knew it was the last time he'd set foot in the modern era. An invisible energy was pulling him back to the Bone Eater's Well. Before he jumped back to his time, he took another look at Kagome's house, and he already felt a pang of longing in his heart. He'd never be able to see the place that felt and smelled like Kagome. He had his memories; he had her friendship; he had his love.

And that was all he could take. So he dropped a foot down the well, closed his eyes and felt one tear escape his eye as the magic pulled him back home.

\--

Immediately when Inuyasha came back to the village, everyone noticed his distress and was anxious to hear an update on Kagome's condition. Right when he was about to open his mouth, Miroku pointed to the forest, and they all turned around to see a large burst of blue energy encompass the forest and then fall silent.

"That was in the direction of the Bone Eater's Well," Miroku mused. And Inuyasha bowed his head and looked to the ground.

"Yes, I bet the well doesn't work anymore. Kagome is back in her time safe and sound," he said in a low voice.

"Then she's alright! Kagome's alive?" Shippou asked excitedly, and Inuyasha nodded.

"She can't come back though. She's gone in her time and none of us can see her anymore," Inuyasha said sadly, watching their faces fall.

"At least she survived," Sango replied lightly. "I will miss Kagome-chan, but I understand she needs to be with her family."

"We were her family too, Sango," Miroku said, putting a comforting hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. He shrugged it off and looked away dejectedly from his friends.

"Inuyasha, why didn't you stay with Kagome in her time?" Kaede asked hesitantly, worried for his obvious distress. "You must have wanted to."

"Shut up!" Inuyasha lashed at her, and then he shot a glare to his brother, who was watching the scene with interest. "She didn't want me, alright. She didn't choose me."

As he glared at his brother, the others looked at him with pity, and when Inuyasha started to stomp away to his hiding place in the forest, Sango outstretched her hand to make him stop.

"Inuyasha! We waited for you to come back to combine the jewel. We're going to make it complete," she said, and Inuyasha growled.

"I don't care about the jewel anymore. It doesn't belong to me, and I want to be left alone," Inuyasha said, turning his heel and sprinting toward the forest.

"Wait!" Sango exclaimed, but Miroku held her back.

"Don't, Sango-sama." Miroku looked to the direction Inuyasha ran, and he sighed. "We should give him some space. He's very hurt."

Sango nodded, still concerned for her friend. She stared at the patch of darkness in the forest where Inuyasha retreated, but Miroku put a hand on her shoulder to direct her to Kaede. Kaede held the pieces of the jewel, closing her hands around it. A pink glow filtered throughout the spaces between her fingers, and as she concentrated, she made a grunting noise and the glow soon disappeared. She opened her hand to show a completed, purified jewel, and she wiped the sweat off her brow.

"Thank goodness Kagome purified the jewel before collapsing," Kaede said in a ragged breath. "I barely had the power to put it together." Then, the old miko paused and gave the jewel a peculiar look. She rolled the jewel around in her palm and brought it up to her face to inspect it closely. "Hrmm..."

"What is it, Kaede-sama?" Miroku asked, and everyone looked on curiously.

"The jewel is back together, but I'm no longer sensing any power coming from it." She turned to Miroku with a dumbfounded expression. "The jewel's power is dormant."

"Dormant? How can that be?" Shippou asked incredulously.

"Once I put it together, I got this sense of completion, yet the jewel did not expect me to be the one to piece it together. It's as like it reacted to my power and shut itself off." Kaede made a humming sound and lightly tweaked her jaw. "I think it has turned off its power because I am not the one it belongs to."

"So if it were given back to Kagome-sama, it'd be active?" Miroku asked.

"Maybe," Kaede answered immediately. "But for now, it's just another trinket. It may revive again someday, but I couldn't guess when." She sighed and then turned her attention to Sesshoumaru. "Nevertheless, it still needs a protector from demons that know if its origin, even if they could not sense it."

Kaede walked toward Sesshoumaru, and she gave him a hard stare with her one eye.

"I do not like the idea of giving a powerful demon the Shikon Jewel, even if it isn't active," she said in a gruff voice. Sesshoumaru said nothing and let her continue. "However, Sango and Miroku tell me Kagome loved and trusted you, and that's good enough for me." She outstretched her hand, dropping the jewel in his readied palm before giving him another scrutinizing stare.

"It's up to you now, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kaede said. "Do well by Kagome's trust."

Sesshoumaru nodded to the miko and gripped the Shikon Jewel in his hand; he said no goodbyes and looked to the sky. His companions automatically stood behind him, and he made a motion to them to follow. "We're going."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama!" said Rin, and she and Jaken clung to Sesshoumaru's heirloom pelt as he started to levitate them in the sky. Clouds formed under his feet, and those still on the surface squinted their eyes and watched him depart. He made a lightening dash in the air, and the two-headed dragon followed behind as they took off toward the western fortress in the sky.

After Sesshoumaru was gone, Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kirara followed Kaede into her hut to discuss the battle. They prepared for a meal that night, as well as funeral rite for Kohaku's remains, which Sango wanted to export to her village to bury next to her family. After some time, Inuyasha finally returned from the forest, and he helped Sango and Miroku with Kohaku's funeral, barely saying a word. Everyone gave Inuyasha his space, and they were grateful he was even out in the open helping them, instead of dealing with his sadness alone.

With Kagome back in her own time, everyone felt the loneliness and sorrow of her absence. She was a true friend they would miss, a sister they would always cherish and was glad to know. The ache in Inuyasha's heart would not disappear so suddenly, but he would move on and live out his days with her memory always fresh in his heart. His friends, Sango, Miroku, Kaede, Shippou and Kirara would always be there for him, as he would in turn be there for them.

And they went on with their lives, looking back only slightly, putting heartache and loss behind them. One thing was for certain; no matter how many years passed by, they would always remember the kind girl from the future who had become their valuable ally and friend.

The girl who saved ancient Japan from a horrible fate.

TBC...


	13. If Wishes Were Second Chances

"I lost myself to him

and laid my face upon my lover's breast

And care and grief grew dim

as in the morning's mist became the light."

"The Dark Night of the Soul" by Loreena McKennitt

Chapter Thirteen - If Wishes Were Second Chances

 _Five Hundred and Fifty Years Later..._

Mother Nature had been kind by providing a beautiful day that left the birds singing, the sun shining and the day satisfying. But there, on the bench, sat the former Daiyoukai. Sesshoumaru swiped the fallen leaf from his pants. As if bored, he tapped his finger on the dark green box that was rested on his legs.

Frequently, he would look up, setting his eyes on a family as they enjoyed the park. His attention shifted on an old woman's back and he frowned.

The box seemed to hum, encasing a long forgotten energy that had slept through Sesshoumaru's folded sense of time. Today he'd return the contents to its rightful owner; from afar, he watched her grow from a teenager into an adult. It was forever since he last saw her. The painful awareness of spent time worsened as he realized how long it has been since he'd spoken, or even touched her. The faceless women he used throughout the years could never replace her, nor make the lonely nights any more bearable. But the memory of her touch haunted him, chasing him relentlessly down the corridor of time.

Even after the day she recovered from her injuries, he did not search her out in the present. For countless years he'd wrestled with the decision to approach her, even when the Shikon Jewel had pulsed back to life. And when the day came when he was going to see her, she was gone, off somewhere in America and coming back during summers with a new lover on her arm. He had been handsome for a human, Sesshoumaru had guessed, but he couldn't help but hate the man, jealous that this stranger had warmed over Kagome's broken heart and had provided her with a family.

Sesshoumaru could never provide her with children. He wasn't selfish enough to doom her with that fate; and as he watched Kagome's daughter and grandchildren play, Sesshoumaru took comfort in the knowledge that he didn't prevent her from having a family. Instead, he was content to watch her, and even sometimes save her from her klutziness when a bus came for her on the street or a flower pot would fall off a window sill. Sesshoumaru couldn't remember the amount of times he'd returned her wandering daughter back to her, secretly of course, and when the child started to catch on, he told her to keep a secret between her and 'the white dog'. Children were amusingly impressionable like that.

In addition to watching her, he'd taken an interest in tracking her financial records, as well as anyone who tried to scam her family and buy out the ancient shrine. He helped out as a silent contributor in their short list of public financial sponsors. He'd never realized after a short while what a great deal of work was involved in watching the Higurashi family, especially when it came to their roller-coaster like money troubles. Most of the problems, he found, arose from preserving their family treasures, valuable antiques they had refused to sell or donate to a museum. The uptake for taking care of such artifacts was not cheap; and he often sent semi-annual stipends to the Higurashi family should last minute expenses arise. Sesshoumaru had thought it was clever of him to send his checks under the name of a private business called White Dog Antiquities Preservation, for the Higurashi shrine had been his one and only associates.

He had met Kagome's mother several times before Kagome had taken over the shrine, and he supposed that Mrs. Higurashi always had a feeling about him by the peculiar look in her eyes. Several times the woman had even asked him out for coffee, and he had to decline for obvious reasons. Not only did Mrs. Higurashi have a tendency to stare wide eyed at his white hair (for which he explained as premature grey) but she would also ask a lot of questions, and he feared that he'd be getting too close to Kagome's family.

It wasn't as though he didn't want to; on the contrary, he yearned for some type of interaction after all these years, a noticeable difference of his former views toward any relationships with humans. After the occupation of Japan, he'd start to get rather lonely, and the westerners mixing into the country had made him feel even more alienated. It was hard enough keeping up his human appearance with his uncle's masking spells, and sometimes the potion had left such an unpleasant taste in his mouth that there were days where he didn't venture outside his house at all, which left him feeling even lonelier.

Finding other demons to interact with seemed fruitless since many of the remaining youkai had moved around the world, taking advantage of the technological age of humans and putting away their magic to fly in a simple air plane. The local demons Sesshoumaru knew of were the ignorant, underground variety or the ones who were extremely estranged and kept to themselves. Some demons mixed with humans and had offspring, but most of them had to move north after having grotesque and disfigured hanyou children. The more hanyou Sesshoumaru had come across in the modern era, the more he realized that his brother was actually handsome in comparison.

The moment he thought of Inuyasha, he looked up to see Kagome dozing off on the park bench as her daughter continued to play with the children. Sesshoumaru suspected Kagome was in her sixties by now, and though time seemed faster for him, he could tell that she had not changed much. Of course, she was physically older, but once in awhile he'd watch her look at something, and he could still see the same woman in her eyes that he knew from the Feudal Era.

She was as stubborn as ever, cranky, and prone to bouts of emotional tirades, and though that would have annoyed him in the past, seeing her display such behavior amused him, especially when she had carried on with her children like that. He had seen her lose her temper plenty of times, and given the way her husband cowered under her disposition, Sesshoumaru knew she had been the head of the household. He supposed hanging out with dog demons, lecherous monks, and youkai slayers while fighting against monsters had made her too tough for the common human male.

Kagome's husband had unnerved him, but the day her spouse passed away, Sesshoumaru had been affected by Kagome's sadness. He wouldn't let himself feel joy for her husband's death, since the man had given Kagome so many happy years and wonderful children. Sesshoumaru could have probably made her happy, but he could never give her children and would never take that right away from her.

Yet, Kagome was at a point in her life where she had already accomplished so much: family, love, a long life -and as the Shikon Jewel buzzed at him, Sesshoumaru knew it was time for them to meet again.

Sesshoumaru approached her tentatively in a futile attempt to conceal the anxiety borne from the many years of self-imposed exile. As he took a seat on the bench, she stirred almost imperceptibly, while her wary eyes studied his face.

Sesshoumaru met her gaze, and he kept silent. Kagome blinked repeatedly, second-guessing her old eyes as he sat next to her in the flesh.

"No..." she said, her voice ringing with incredulity. "Is that really you?" She paused and held out a hesitant hand for his face. "Sesshoumaru?"

His eyes closed as he felt her hands cup his face. It had been so long since she'd done that, and he'd missed it, and sometimes at night he'd felt ghostlike hands cover his face as he agonized in his longing.

"Yes, Kagome," he said, opening his eyes and looking into hers. They were still the same, just as he had thought before. The rest of her had changed, but her eyes and touch had remained unchanged. "You appear aged."

Kagome laughed, and tears began to squeeze out her eyes, running down her wrinkled face. She wiped them away, still chuckling as he watched her. She said to him in a choked voice, "Where... where have you been? Have you been here all this time?"

Sesshoumaru didn't answer her right away, but then he sighed while looking at her hands as she fiddled with them in her lap. She appeared nervous, but relief and adoration erupted on her face.

Finally, when the silence was becoming too thick, he said, "I have. I have been waiting to give this back to you." He picked up the box and put it in her hands. Her smile disappeared, and her expression turned to shock.

"This..." She swallowed hard. "Is this what I think it is?"

Sesshoumaru nodded once. "It is the Shikon Jewel. I have kept it for you, and now I am returning it." He paused as she frowned, apparently unsure of his reasons. "You can make a wish on it, Kagome."

Immediately she shook her head. "I'm not ready to make a wish." She clutched her fingers around the box and tightly pressed it to her body. She closed her eyes, and Sesshoumaru watched as she smiled, and he wondered if she was reliving the memories that the jewel represented.

"Is this all you came here for, Sesshoumaru?" she asked in a low voice. She was staring at him again, her deep eyes peering into his soul. "I know that I am old and can no longer do anything for you, but I thought maybe... maybe you came her for another reason."

Sesshoumaru opened his mouth, and by her eager smile, he closed his lips and looked away. He didn't know if he should tell her that he'd meant to come to her when she was younger, but he was too late, and he would not deny her the chance at a normal life.

"It's okay," Kagome said, her eyes falling to her lap. "I'm sure you have your reasons."

Sesshoumaru watched her, and he knew that she's always been like that. She always respected him when he was silent, but she too had things on her mind, and she would never digress her feelings either.

As the silence became awkward again, Kagome inhaled a large draught of breath and said, "If you won't tell me that, at least tell me what happened to the others. I always thought you were the most likely one to outlive us all, but I've always wondered what had happened to my friends." She gave him a desperate look. "Please."

Sesshoumaru slowly looked ahead, and the view of the public park bled like watercolors into the past. He remembered the look on Inuyasha's face when the hanyou came back from Kagome's time, and he started from there.

"As you know, Kagome, Inuyasha took you back to your time to heal your injuries. I had guessed, as well as your companions, that he would remain in your era with you until you got better. I was even annoyed that he might try to coerce you into accepting him again when I could not be around. Instead, not too many hours later my brother came back -alone - and looking dejected. He was absolutely intolerable after that, inconsolable and harsh with your friends. He did not even stick around when the aged miko Kaede put the jewel back together.

"The only thing he said that 'she did not chose me' and it wasn't until several decades later when the stubborn fool was on his deathbed that I learned you said my name while you recovered in the hospital."

Kagome gasped and covered her mouth in shock. Apparently, she had no idea she had done that. Pain and regret swelled up in her eyes, and she looked at her lap, hands shaking as she tried to still them. Her silence indicated that Sesshoumaru should go on, and she would listen until he was done. The truth of the past would sting, but Kagome obviously appeared ready for it.

Sesshoumaru continued, "After that, by your request the aged miko entrusted me with the Shikon no Tama. After she had completed it, the energy within the jewel had frozen, and it had become just another generic gem. Everyone supposed the jewel had gone dormant because it was waiting to be returned to you, the rightful owner. I was only a caretaker, and I took it because the natural spirit barriers at my uncle's castle would be the perfect place to hide it until it was ready to be returned to you.

"After Jaken and Rin and I left your friends, I did not hear from Inuyasha until several years later. He needed me for a problem he was having with his wife."

"Wife?" Kagome inquired, her eyes unreadable, but her expression beamed in relief.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru said. "He married one of the monk's daughters. It took him many years to get over his pain, but he managed to move on. He was so close to the monk and slayer, and I do believe they made his life easier. They fussed over him like they were his parents; I had witnessed it, and sometimes it was unbearable."

Kagome giggled, and Sesshoumaru was pleased that she was finding some joy among the sad memories. She exhaled in relief. "I'm glad he moved on. I was... worried."

Sesshoumaru turned to her, and he took her fragile hand into his. "What happened to you after you recovered?"

Tears welled up in Kagome's eyes, but bravely, she did not look away from him. She said, "I woke up healed, but I felt so very empty -I was alone."

She sniffled, and wiped the tears from her eyes. Sesshoumaru watched her as she composed herself, and she looked off into the distance to her family, who were still unaware she was talking to Sesshoumaru.

"Of course I had my family, but when I got home and the well didn't work anymore, it hit me. My destiny was fulfilled, and my time in the Feudal Era was done. Despite everything I gained there, friendships and love --" She paused and looked up at Sesshoumaru sorrowfully before turning her gaze away. "I realized that I belonged here. I was supposed to be here." She leaned back into her chair and let out a bedraggled sigh. "And then... after giving up hope that one of you would survive those five hundred years, I moved on and I did what only I could do. I went to school, I got a job, and I had a family." She shook her head and smiled. "Sesshoumaru, tell me what happened to Miroku and Sango. Did they have children? Did their ancestors survive?"

Sesshoumaru nodded once and replied, "The monk and slayer had many children. Some of them married and had children themselves, and some of them died in the wars. The daughter that Inuyasha married had become the village shrine maiden after Kaede, but after wedding my brother, another sister took over for her. Inuyasha and Mihona had two children, which was the reason they contacted me. I had to help them with my uncle's special potions to make sure Mihona survived carrying a mixed youkai despite her spiritual energy. We had to be very careful not to harm either the child or the mother." Sesshoumaru paused and saw the look of anxiety on Kagome's face. "If I did not help them, Mihona would not have survived the labor. Even though her spiritual power was much lower than yours, she still needed medicine to carry the child with youkai blood to full term. Inuyasha must have heard that my mother's family often specialized in such treatment, so he asked me."

"It must have taken Inuyasha a lot of courage to ask you," Kagome replied.

"He had not spoken to me for so long; needless to say, I was surprised."

"But you helped him," Kagome said, squeezing his hand. "That was enough for him to forgive. I just know it."

"You are right, of course," he replied. Silence wedge between them again, and they both looked forward, delighting in the light breeze as they watched the children play.

"And what happened to Shippou?"

A thin smile appeared on his face. "He is still around somewhere. He took off to look for more of his kin, who moved to China. He did come back to Japan while I was helping Mihona and Inuyasha, and he was taller and more powerful. He said his kin had taught him a lot of new skills, but he was unhappy there, so he decided to come back home.

I think he stayed in Japan for several decades before he took off for Central America. The last I heard, he was trying to preserve endangered forests."

Kagome eyes brightened. "I guess I'll have to look him up some time."

"Indeed," Sesshoumaru answered, cocking an eyebrow. "I could help you with that."

Kagome smiled prettily at him, and he saw her aged face blush.

"I... I'm glad that everything turned out alright," Kagome said, her voice choking up with emotion.

She sniffled and could not control the tears any longer. "I've missed them so much." And she cried in her hands, and Sesshoumaru longed to pull her into an embrace, but instead he stayed silent and rigid, looking forward and trying to come up with the right words to say.

"Kagome..." His voice was smooth and low and Kagome's cries seemed to fade at the sound of it. "There were many times I wanted so badly to come to you before today." Immediately, she had stopped crying and her attention was on him. He continued, "However, I did not want to be selfish. I had been selfish my whole life, and searching you out --" He pursed his lips, and his tone was laced with regret. "I didn't want to rob you of the chance at having a family."

Kagome was stunned, and she stared in awe at him. "Sesshoumaru..."

He shook his head. "This curse was mine, not yours." He turned to meet her gaze again, finally. "I may be a demon, but I do feel... I want you to know that I did have feelings for you... still, have feelings for you."

And she didn't know what to say, and she grabbed the lapels of his coat and said almost angrily, "How could you decide that? Don't you know how much I missed you? I loved you!" She spoke in a harsh, defeated voice, "I still love you."

And somehow, Sesshoumaru knew his confession would only anger her.

Calmly, he addressed her, "And would you give up the wonderful children you have so readily if you had the chance over again?" He stared at her with a steely gaze. He just wanted her to understand that this selfless act had a logical, thoughtful reason. Sesshoumaru had sacrificed child-less love so Kagome could have the type of life he could never give her.

Kagome slacked her grip on his jacket and looked away dejectedly, and Sesshoumaru watched her reaction carefully. "I... I love my children, of course.

I would never give them up." She looked up at him sternly and bit her lip. "But I could have done without them."

"Humph," Sesshoumaru scoffed. "I knew you would say that. But there is something more to this than us, Kagome." She cocked her head at him curiously. "When I was unlocking the secrets of Tenseiga, my uncle taught me about sacrifice. It was what my father wanted to teach me if he were still alive. Both Inuyasha and I had something to learn from gaining the secrets of our swords. Inuyasha learned about the love of a father he never knew, and he also learned to protect the humans that shunned him. And in my life of solitude and selfishness, I learned about sacrifice - of pride, of ego, and of things that I valued too much over things that were truly important."

"And your swords are?"

"In a museum in France," Sesshoumaru said bluntly. "I have not needed any of them for fighting in centuries. I gave up my swords after Rin died." Sesshoumaru's voice trailed off, and he looked away from Kagome's saddened gaze. "Rin was murdered by bandits when she was with her third child. She and her husband were going to the next village to barter rice, and they were struck for their money. I was..." He let out a sigh and leaned back into the bench with Kagome. "I was in the castle, helping my uncle fortify the defenses with family spells. As humans began to multiply and take over much more of the world, we felt it necessary to get ready for the future. Humans were starting to forget youkai, and the more they forgot us, the more dangerous it was for us to be out in the open... especially when our numbers were dwindling and humans were inventing harmful weaponry."

"You didn't go for revenge after Rin's murder?" Kagome asked, appalled that he would even leave it at that.

"Of course, I did," Sesshoumaru huffed. "But after there were no more bandits to kill, it all seemed pointless. I didn't feel better even after that. Rin still couldn't come back. The victory felt empty." He pushed a strand of his long hair behind his ear. "After that, I put down my sword. Jaken had died years ago, and besides Uncle, who never left the castle not even for women, I had no one." He turned to catch Kagome's eyes again. "And I only had one thing left to do in my life that did not require fighting."

Kagome gaped, and she looked down at the box he had given her. He had waited all this time, tortured and alone that he was the only one left. Kagome thought it must have been really hard for him to not seek her out. Then, she finally understood. He really did make a sacrifice - all for her.

Kagome turned to him with a weak smile, and she reached her hands out to his face again. "Oh, Sesshoumaru..."

"Mom?"

The pair on the bench stirred apart by the sound of an intrusive voice, and they both looked up into the inquiring eyes of Kagome's daughter with children in tow.

"Oh, Sango!" Kagome said with a start. "I didn't see you there. Um..." She outstretched a hand to Sesshoumaru and said, "This is an old friend, Sesshoumaru. I told you about him, remember?"

Sango gaped at him with wide eyes, and suddenly a funny realization came over to her. She gasped. "You're the White Dog!"

Kagome seemed puzzled, but Sango was overjoyed. "I know you!" Sesshoumaru smiled lightly at her, his nose a little higher in the air.

"White Dog?" Kagome asked confused.

"Mom, remember when I was little, and I told you not to worry about me so much because the White Dog would protect me?" Sango gushed.

"Well, yes, but I just thought it was your imagination. I told you many stories about the Feudal Era, especially about Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's family. I just thought -"

"Mom, the White Dog brought me back to you so many times when I'd wandered off, and this is him! Am I right?"

"I'm pleased you would remember me, young Sango-san," Sesshoumaru said bowing his head.

"Remember you? Humph!" she scoffed at him. "If not for you, I probably wouldn't be here today."

She waggled a finger chidingly at her mother. "You were such a basket case sometimes."

"I doubt you would have been dead," Sesshoumaru said, bluntly, which made Sango blush. Kagome giggled. "Your mother was quite capable back in the day."

"And I still am!" Kagome said, putting her fists on her hips. "Sesshoumaru, you don't know the trouble I had with her! Such an explorer, and stubborn as all get out."

"Ah," Sesshoumaru responded, a wicked look in his eyes. "She is your daughter."

Sango giggled, and the toddler she was toting in her arms pointed a tiny finger at Sesshoumaru and started making gurgling noises, which only made Sango and Kagome laugh louder.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Sesshoumaru-san. Won't you come over for dinner? My husband is out of town, so it's just Mom, me and the girls."

Sesshoumaru and Kagome both looked at each other, and Kagome's eyes beamed with delight.

"Of course," Sesshoumaru replied politely.

Sango smiled with a toothy grin and said, "Great! Mom, I'm taking Kikyou and Izayoi home. Kikyou's been fussing for a nap, and Izayoi won't stop kicking her." She sighed harshly, "My goodness, get your finger out of your nose, Kikyou!" Sango turned to her mother and her friend again. "You can stay behind and chat. I'll start the food."

"Okay, dear. We won't be long."

Sango gave Sesshoumaru one more scrutinized look and then whistled. "Gees, Mom. If Dad were around and saw you with Sesshoumaru-san, he probably would have given up right then and there."

Sesshoumaru's eyes lit with amusement, and Kagome gave her daughter a stern look. "Sango! Don't even say that." And Sango giggled at her mother's obvious embarrassment.

She turned around and said in a sing-song voice, "See you at home, and don't stay out too late, you kids." Sango laughed at herself before starting to yell her Kikyou again. Kagome smiled with mirth, watching her daughter leave.

"Unbelievable. I don't know where she gets that attitude," Kagome said absently.

Sesshoumaru continued to stare at Kagome's children as they faded into the distance, and suddenly, he felt Kagome watching him. He looked to his side, and saw her eyes fall to her lap again.

"I can't believe you came back to me. I feel like this day is only a dream."

"Kagome..."

Kagome shook her head vigorously, halting his words. She lightly traced her hands over the box, finally opening the lid. Inside, the Shikon no Tama glowed and pulsed radiantly in her grasp. She smiled, and the tears came back again.

"Oh, it's been so long. I feel like it's not even mine anymore."

"Yet it is," Sesshoumaru said.

"I know," Kagome replied, taking the jewel into her hands. She stared at it intently. "It's hard to believe this little trinket caused so much death and destruction - so much heartache."

"And now it is active again," Sesshoumaru stated. "Knowing how greed fuels people in this era, the jewel needs to disappear once and for all."

He paused. "After all we have fought for; we can not waste that now."

"You're right," Kagome answered, pursing her lips as she glared at the jewel. "I have to make a wish."

After a bout of silence, Sesshoumaru felt his ears drown out from the song of a bluebird as Kagome thought in silence. Suddenly, she got up from the bench and looked down at him. She appeared determined, and she held out her hand to him.

"Come walk with me toward my house?"

Sesshoumaru nodded, and she took his hand.

"Are you going to make a wish now?" he asked while they were walking. She smiled beside him, a resolute expression on her face.

"What is it? World Peace? For the Middle Eastern War to end? For all sicknesses to be cured?"

Kagome paused, and she pouted slightly, yet her mind was made up. "Those are all nice wishes, but this one's much more personal."

Tears dampened her eyes again, and she spoke with a sad smile. "This wish is payment for a good friend."

Sesshoumaru stared intently as she looked at the jewel and chanted, "I wish that Sesshoumaru's curse was gone, so he can be happy again. Please Shikon no Tama, give Sesshoumaru what he truly desires."

He looked back at her with surprise, and he felt her grip on his hand tighten.

Suddenly, they were encased in a cocoon of light pink, and the modern world faded away into oblivion. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, and he felt warm.

\--

When Sesshoumaru woke, he felt a warm body next to him. As he stirred, the body produced a feminine noise and began chuckling lightly against his skin.

He looked to his side, and he saw her - the one thing he truly desired in the world.

"Kagome..."

And she was young and beautiful again, and she lay at his side in the bed inside the castle, snuggling with a pile of his heirloom pelts. She blushed at him and gave him a seductive smile.

He let out a stunned breath. "Your... your wish..."

"It worked!" Kagome held out her hands in front of her, and she sighed in contentment. "I look seventeen again! Wow, I've never missed my youth so much until now."

Sesshoumaru stared at her in silence as she inspected herself, giggling as she looked over every portion of her newly restored body.

"You knew that I would wish for this..."

Kagome's eyes twinkled, and she appeared sheepish. "I had hoped."

Sesshoumaru crawled over to her, his nose inches from her face. Kagome began running her fingers idly through his hair before getting trapped in his gaze. He whispered, "Maybe the jewel was listening to your desires as well?"

"Do you think?" And she abandoned her fingers from his hair and cupped his cheeks. He closed his eyes to her touch.

He groaned and told her in a gruff mutter, "It has been too long."

Kagome's eyes sparkled as she looked at him. "It has."

Slowly, Sesshoumaru leaned in and captured her lips fervently with his. He heard her moan in his mouth as he took in her taste and teased her tongue. She slid her hands into his hair, and he felt fire rise in his belly. Instinctively, he bucked against her, pushing her down onto her back as he loomed above her.

He ripped away the thin silk yukata and opened her up for him to see. He left her mouth momentarily to inspect her, and he delighted in the subtle contrast her tanned skin made against the white material. It felt as though it was yesterday, and they were back in the Feudal Era, stealing away moments beside a river while they hunted down Naraku.

"Sesshoumaru," she moaned, as his hands roamed her body. She cooed in response as his fingers traced her curves, taking in proof that she was actually real.

It wasn't an illusion - she was here, and she was heady and ready just for him. There were no more secrets, nor more rivals, and no quests to get in their way. There was no more pride to get in the way of his desires - of the love he was denied when he realized it was too late.

"Kagome..." And he kissed her again, needy and impatient, and she tasted him in turn, just as fast.

Quickly, he had opened her delicate legs, settling in between as he undid his sash. Kagome watched him in wonder as he removed his clothing, revealing his lean chest and his hardened excitement. Sesshoumaru felt her thighs quaver against him.

Dipping his hand below, he teased her, tracing her nether lips and dipping a single finger inside her. She whimpered when he entered two, and he moved them in and out heatedly, and Kagome started to rock her hips to his rhythm. She crowed in delight as he bent his head down and started licking her breasts, tasting and nipping them playfully.

"Please," she begged, and he sat up and grinned with mischief. She was so ready, but they had all the time in the world for this. To Sesshoumaru, something was different now than the other times before.

She squealed in protest as he removed his fingers from her, drawing them to his lips and licking up her scent. He closed his eyes, and suddenly, his castle bedroom felt like they had shifted into the spirit world. He looked down at Kagome, and her face beamed up at him with desire and more importantly - love.

And when she looked at him, it had made all his sacrifices worthwhile. Finally, he understood what his father meant to teach him. Also, he understood his mother's sacrifice, and her weaknesses. And when loving a human was his mother's weakness, for Sesshoumaru it would be his strength.

Kagome waited for him, and she smiled as he bent down and crawled on top of her, capturing her lips lightly and rubbing his arousal against her entrance.

"Oh..." she cried, and he has pushed softly inside of her, moving very slowly as he locked his gaze with her eyes.

There was a time where he would have been too scared to do this. In the past, it would have been far too intimate to open himself up to Kagome - a human, and his younger past self would have scoffed at the notion of letting a human female past his defenses.

But everything was different now. Through war and endless time, he waited for her. And despite their frivolous contract in the beginning, it had ultimately led him down the most important path of his life.

When he had Kagome, he had nothing to lose and everything to live for.

He pushed faster inside her, and Kagome flexed her thighs around him, moving with his pace and trying to draw him inside as much as she could. Sesshoumaru grunted as he fit within her tightly, trapped and challenged by her muscles and restored form. He growled and pushed, reveling in her slickness, her vitality, her love - her sacrifice.

And in her, he could finally say a demon was capable of love.

'Is this how you felt, Father?' he thought, hoping his father would somehow hear it. He'd never understood how a great dog demon would dishonor himself by indulging in emotions such as love; however, now he understood it more than ever. Feelings and love did not make a man weak.

He rammed into her faster, and Kagome cried louder, and she pulled his hair and dug her nails into his skin - and he loved it, and he wanted to hear her scream. Scream for him because it'd been so long, and her sounds belonged to him, and it would drown out his past - kill all the memories of women he had used to replace her in his darkest days.

"Oh, Sessh..." And she was cut off, her mouth gaping as she throw her head back and felt her peak, opening her eyes to the blinding cosmos just within her reach.

Sesshoumaru shuddered and emptied inside her, exhaling heavily and delighting in the aftershocks her body made around his, thighs quivering as they combined in their release. Sesshoumaru pulled out, bending his head down to taste her and kissing his way back up to her chest. Kagome pulled her arms around him, and he rested against her breasts, nuzzling against the pert nipples. He heard her heart beating rapidly inside her chest, and he closed his eyes and soaked up her warmth.

"Love you," she said amidst ragged breaths, and her hands were in his hair again, smoothing out the tendrils that had become sticky and wild with sweat.

Her words were beautiful, and he did not readily respond. He wondered if Kagome understood because it was odd for him to hear it aloud, and it was even stranger for him to express it.

But he could feel it and he could feel her - unconditionally - and that was love to him.

Kagome sighed, and he felt the motion of her chest against his head. She said lightly, "I always had dreams like this, even when I was married."

He broke away slowly from her embrace, and she sat up with him. They stared at each other, hands finding places to keep busy as they gelled themselves within the static moment.

"My wish..."

"I'm here to stay with you until you pass away, isn't that right?" she guessed, and when she said it out loud, the wish took a newer, more solid meaning.

Sesshoumaru pulled her against his chest, and she traced her hand down his fine muscles. "What I wished for was for you to be with me, always." He looked down and saw that she was smiling.

"Good," Kagome said, but frowned on an errant thought. "I hope that Sango and the girls will be all right."

Sesshoumaru's expression changed subtly, and he squeezed her closer. "I imagine they will be well enough on their own." He pulled her up so she could see his face. "You had already lived your life; it is time for them to live theirs."

"And I get to live my life over again," Kagome said, their faces nearing. His lips tasted hers again for a second, and he let her loose as she rested her forehead against his.

"It is the wish I earned for all my sacrifices."

Kagome beamed at him, and she entwined her fingers with his. They fell together onto the bed again, creating that lost warmth they had missed through all those centuries. They held each other tightly, fearful to let go, letting the world slow around them. Kagome was renewed and his, and time granted by the Shikon no Tama was entirely theirs.

Sesshoumaru's lips fell upon hers again, and he could feel her smile. They closed their eyes, and eternity swelled between them - their final happiness suspended in forever.

\--

Sango Ikezawa looked out her front window, peering through the curtains when she thought she heard her mother coming up the stoop. When she realized it was her imagination and no one was there, she wandered outside and stared at the empty sidewalk in disappointment.

"Wow, Mom, I didn't think you'd take this long," she spoke under her breath, and she bemoaned that dinner was now cold and night was soon falling.

A heavy breeze lifted a scatter of leaves toward her, and Sango made a noise of surprise as she closed her eyes and threw her hands up to ward off the offending debris. She felt an object strike the palm of her hand, and she opened her eyes.

Looking to her feet, she saw a thin scroll wrapped with blue ribbon rolling around in front of her.

Hesitantly, she stared at it a few seconds before picking it up. The material was natural and delicate, and she unraveled the ribbon cautiously, pushing open the small curled paper.

Her eyes quickly scanned the writing, opening wide and welling with tears. A smile erupted on her face, and she brought a hand to her lips.

 _'I have gone away to live with the White Dog. I'll always love you, ~Mom.'_

"Oh, Mother..."

She quickly looked to the sky, watching the puffy white clouds as they danced over the vast cerulean heavens. Tears soon dried away and warmth stirred within her.

It was a beautiful day.

THE END


End file.
